This week, Studio Reader Stan gets paid a visit by his unusual cousin.
Studio Reader Stan opens his door to see his cousin Neil.
Neil: Hey Cuz. I’m here to spend time with you.
Studio Reader Stan: Shouldn’t that be a mutual decision?
Neil: That doesn’t really work for me.
Neil walks in, making himself at home on the couch.
Neil: Anyway, I need your help.
Studio Reader Stan: Not with that awful story idea about your roommate’s toenails again, I hope.
Neil: No, I’m done trying to be a writer. There’s not enough fame in it for me.
Studio Reader Stan: Your new goal is to be famous?
Neil: You got it.
Studio Reader Stan: How’s it working out so far?
Neil: Lousy. I’ve tried everything. All the reality shows turned me down. All the game shows turned me down. Every talent agent has turned me down. And I got fired as a movie extra.
Studio Reader Stan: With your great attitude and work ethic? Shocking.
Neil: Tell me about it. Anyway, I was playing a Civil War corpse, but 'cause there was a thousand of us, no one noticed how great a job I was doing being a dead dude. So I started doing bird calls.
Studio Reader Stan: In the middle of the scene?
Neil: Yeah. And it spooked all the horses into running off, which apparently ruined the take and cost the production thousands of dollars.
Studio Reader Stan: And they didn’t offer to make you famous after that?
Neil: No. And they were good bird calls, too. I do a great ostrich.
Studio Reader Stan: I’m sure you do. So what do you need from me?
Neil: I need you to let me know when one of them studio executives you deal with leaves for lunch.
Studio Reader Stan: Why, so you can pester them with a noise that may or may not sound like an ostrich?
Neil: No, of course not. I want to get run over by one of their cars and then blackmail them into making me famous so I don’t sue. It's foolproof.
Studio Reader Stan: I think you're underestimating the fool.
Neil: Nah, I'd never do that. Anyway, thanks for agreeing to help, Cuz. I'll look forward to your heads up.
Neil mercifully leaves.
Tune in next week for more of Studio Reader Stan's adventures...
Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part II is adult literature featuring adult language and situations that satirizes thirteen famous novellas and short stories. It is Jay Dubya's sixteenth ebook.
