This week, Studio Reader Stan meets again with his literary agent, Mischa Broom.
Studio Reader Stan enters his agent's office.
Mischa Broom: Studio Reader Stan, the director who optioned your script says you’re being difficult.
Studio Reader Stan: You mean your 13-year-old nephew who you gave my script to for free?
Mischa Broom: He says he needs you to do a rewrite and you’ve refused. That’s very unprofessional.
Studio Reader Stan: He wants me to change it from a feel-good story about deaf kids playing soccer, into a bloody and violent alien invasion of a swimming pool filled with bikini-clad women.
Mischa Broom: Studio Reader Stan, film is a collaborative medium. You have to allow room for the ideas of other creative people.
Studio Reader Stan: Not only his vision of the film extremely distasteful, but it would be a complete waste of time to work on. None of the producers I respect would ever touch it with a ten-foot pole.
Mischa Broom: Not true . I just got a call from a fantastic producer and when I said to him – ‘Violent aliens meet women in bikinis,’ he started salivating and begged to see the script.
Studio Reader Stan: This is a producer at a studio?
Mischa Broom: No, he's only a part time producer. Mainly he's my booky, and second cousin. He’s been carted off to jail. I was his one phone call. But don’t go by that, he’s got great instincts.
Studio Reader Stan: Despite that ringing endorsement of another of your relatives, I think I’m going to stick with my instincts and not do this.
Mischa Broom: I’m very disappointed. This was a slam-dunk sale. It’s like money out of my pockets. And my pockets are just about empty.
Studio Reader Stan: I thought your business started to thrive when you added monkeys as clients.
Mischa Broom: There’s no money in monkeys anymore, Studio Reader Stan. Times are real tough. In fact, you should be the one who tells my fiance his strawberry herbal back cleanses are no longer affordable. I’m tired of being the one who holds him while he cries.
Studio Reader Stan: Perhaps avoiding that unpleasantness is just the motivation you need to start hustling all the other scripts I’ve given you.
Mischa Broom: It would have been if I didn’t have plans already. I’m off to a two-month business retreat to investigate how much money can be made off of creating a new religion. I’ve already signed you up for lifetime membership. You can thank me when I get back.
She leaves.
Tune in next week for more of Studio Reader Stan's Adventures...
A naïve councilman and a down-on-her-luck single mom try to save their county’s last stand of forest from greedy developers and a dysfunctional government.
The Wholly Book of Doo-Doo-Rot-on-Me is adult satirical humor featuring adult language and adult content, and the work is a parody of the Old Testament Book of Deuteronomy.
