Last week, Ms. Pantsworth asked Studio Reader Stan to claim to be superstar actor Valkyrie Booster's stalker. This week, Valkyrie confronts him.
Studio Reader Stan sits in the coffee shop when movie action star Valkyrie Booster (real name: Lester Bung) comes in.
Valkyrie Booster: Studio Reader Stan, I saw in the tabloids that my stalker says Ms. Pantsworth and I are an item. When I asked her about it, she said you were the stalker.
Studio Reader Stan: Well, she did ask that I claim that, but since I decided prison was not for me, I chose against it.
Valkyrie Booster: So how did you know that me and her were an item?
Studio Reader Stan: I didn’t realize you were.
Valkyrie Booster: Me either.
Studio Reader Stan: Then it seems obvious that you’re not.
Valkyrie Booster: That tabloid said we are, so I guess you and I are both wrong.
Studio Reader Stan: You realize that’s insanity, right?
Valkyrie Booster: Tabloids know their stuff, man. They were right on about those UFOs that tried abducting me.
Studio Reader Stan: Wasn’t that a scene in one of your movies?
Valkyrie Booster: Yeah, but I’m a method actor. I told them to get real UFOs. That extreme fear on my face wasn’t acting.
Studio Reader Stan: You can say that again.
Valkyrie Booster: Thanks. But I’m not really here to talk about that. I have a new movie coming out and since you’re my stalker, I’ll need you on 24-hour call for the next three weeks. Y’know, for publicity.
Studio Reader Stan: Have you paid attention to any of this conversation so far?
Valkyrie Booster: No... Also when you secretly photograph me, never take the picture from straight ahead. My semi profiles are much more handsome.
Studio Reader Stan: I'll be sure to make a note of it.
Valkyrie Booster: Good... Oh yeah, one more thing. My publicist wrote something for me to say. (reads a piece of paper) Shame on you and all your fellow stalkers. You need to get a life.
He puts the paper in his pocket and hands Studio Reader Stan a card.
Valkyrie Booster: Now here’s the address where she wants you to send all the photos so she can approve them. Thanks man. Make me look good.
He leaves.
Tune in next week for more of Studio Reader Stan's adventures...
