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Randall Davis Barfield

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Beach Story
by Randall Davis Barfield
Saturday, February 24, 2007

Rated "G" by the Author.

       
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           >> View all 118


     "Then, you're not exactly Mick Jagger either."

“You wanna slice of cold pizza? I’ve got two,” she asked.

 

It was shortly after noon. She was older--like me. Maybe forty-eight.  A very attractive forty-eight if, indeed, that was her age.  Anyway, I had to be close.  I had some of those tell-tale signs myself.  Her body was in good shape though, so, her bikini didn’t at all look foolish.  Maybe I was dreaming, I thought.  Would wake up or something shortly.

 

I shrugged.  “Okay, don’t mind if I do.”

 

“Name’s Rita,” she said as I moved my things over closer to her towel where she was sitting.

 

“Gerard,” I said. “Gerard O’Neal.  Gerry for short.”

 

“One is pepperoni and the other is prune and bacon.  Your choice Gerry,” she offered.

 

“Prune and bacon, definitely,” I replied.  “You don’t see it much around these parts, but I love it.  First ate it in Sydney.”

 

“I have it cause I made it,” she said with pride.  “I first ate it in Milan.”

 

We began eating.  “I’ve got cold Cokes if you want one,” I offered.

 

“Thanks, but I’ve got lemonade.  Enough for you if you want.”

 

“I’ll have a Coke Rita, but thanks,” I said.  “Here alone?”

 

“Here alone,” she answered.  “Called in sick today.  Now I feel bad cause I told a lie.  This morning I felt funny so I asked myself, ‘What do you really want to do?’  Well, going to work wasn’t it.  It was going to the beach, to get away from it all for a day.  A whole day!  Alone at the beach.”

 

“But now you’re not alone,” I said with a grin.

 

“No, but I spoke first,” she said.

 

“Were you feeling lonely?”  I asked.

 

She hesitated.  “I guess I was a little,” she said.  Her eyes were mischievous.  “Then, you’re not exactly Mick Jagger either.”

 

I laughed.  “I wouldn’t mind having his voice, a few other things,” I said.  “And I wouldn’t call you ‘Ugly Betty’ either.”

 

There was a relaxing freshness between us.  It seemed as if we had known each other for some considerable length of time.  As neither of us spoke for a few moments, the screams of the gulls far away could be heard.  A small plane was in the sky.  The shouts of one or two kids, for some reason not in school, could be heard.

 

“Married?” I asked.

 

“Not anymore,” she said.  “Married?”

 

“Was,” I answered.

 

“Complete truth? Scout’s honor?” she asked.

 

“Complete truth,” I said then added, “Would you like to have dinner together this evening?”

 

“I think I like that idea,” she answered.  “What time would that be?”

 

 

 

End of “Beach Story”

 
 
 

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Reviewed by Frances Lynn 3/1/2007
Dialogue drives the characters along ...... characters are well rounded but what happens next?!
Reviewed by Brett Moore 2/25/2007
I like the lead up to the inevitable question of getting together. Both characters seems to be working together to get to that point, exchanging pleasantries at first as the questions became more personal, but still in a very non-chalant way. Good story.

Brett
Reviewed by Stan Grimes 2/25/2007
Randall,

How's come that never happened to me when I lived by the beach?

Stan
Reviewed by Guy Hogan 2/25/2007
This is well written and enjoyable. I like the way it moves. Be aware that the entire story is told in first person view point except for the paragraph beginning, "There was a relaxing freshness between the two of them" which is third person. The next two sentences are also third person view point. The rest of the sentences in the paragraph are view point neutral so you're okay. Then you're back into first person with "'Married?' I asked." It's a good story.
Reviewed by Susan Sonnen 2/24/2007
I enjoyed this. Especially her line about it being okay not being alone right then because it was her choice, she spoke first...that's exactly how I see things! So I guess that I'm biased?
Reviewed by Regis Auffray 2/24/2007
This is an engaging write; it leaves the reader wanting to know more and that's always a good thing in my humble opinion. Thank you, Randall. Love and peace to you,

Regis

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