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Randall Davis Barfield

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With A Little Time
by Randall Davis Barfield
Thursday, March 15, 2007

Rated "PG" by the Author.

       
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           >> View all 118


    
Terror had seized her. Jim was her husband...

 


Lois Landers sat on her new sofa in the sunroom. Yes, it was comfortable and its shades of yellow and green were just right. She couldn’t wait for Judy, her daughter, to see it. In fact, Judy and her five kids were on the way to Lois’s house now and should be there within the hour. They lived in Louisville, about two hours south of the Landers’ place.


 


Two of the kids had been adopted. They knew it, but they were loved just as much as the others. Judy and most everyone made big efforts to keep it that way. Judy had had three Caesareans in a row then quit. Lois eventually told that to everyone she met if any chatting was done.


 


The phone rang, snapping Lois out of her complacency.


 


“Yes, Lois here.”


 


“Lois, this is Homer,” the caller said. “You sitting down?”


 


Now what kind of… Lois thought.


 


Lois and Homer went way back to school days. They knew each other better than most people imagined. Homer had joined the police force some twenty years ago. He’d started with the county then changed to state where he was now. Homer was known for his efficiency.


 


“Oh God, Homer. Don’t tell me this is some sort of bad news call.”


 


“Afraid it is, Lois. You know me, I don’t call often. Jim there?”


 


For a moment Lois was speechless. Terror had seized her. Jim was her husband.


 


“Jim’s at work still,” she managed to say. “It’s Judy, isn’t it Homer?”


 


Homer cleared his throat. “Yes Lois, it is.”


 


“Tell me how bad it is,” she said, beginning to sob.


 


“Two of the kids didn’t make it, Lois. And Judy. She didn’t either. Seems she lost control and ran off the highway. Seems the others will be okay. With a little time.”


 


“Homer, please call Jim. My body feels numb.”  That’s when the line went dead.


 

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Reviewed by Chrissy McVay 3/17/2007
Great thriller!

Chrissy
Reviewed by Guy Hogan 3/16/2007
This is nice and concise and it certainly is a shocker. You handled it all quite well. And after another careful read it also passes the proof reading test. To a careful reader or editor this means the writer takes his craft seriously. Great job. It's a standard to measure all of the rest of your work against. I think you've hit a new level.
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 3/16/2007
DANNNNNNNNNNNNNNG, Randy, you seized me right by the throat with this chiller diller! Excellent write; very well done! Take a bow, my friend, take a bow! BRAVO!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D
Reviewed by Susan Sonnen 3/16/2007
You surprised me...I thought that something was going to happen to her husband!
Reviewed by Brett Moore 3/15/2007
Brilliant story, Randall. The reader is left wondering if the two kids that died are the adopted ones, which shouldn't matter. But, you cleverly put it so that the reader would wonder that. Excellent story.

Brett
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 3/15/2007
Wow, Randall, this one grabs you by the throat and doesn't let go. Excellent, chilling write of how things can go horribly wrong in one fell swoop. Well done!

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.

Would like to see this continued--promising beginning!

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