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Randall Davis Barfield

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Tight Jeans
by Randall Davis Barfield
Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Rated "PG" by the Author.

       
Recent stories by Randall Davis Barfield
· Schoolgirl
· My Son
· Helping Hand
· The Goodbye
· Tight Jeans (4)
· Tight Jeans 3
· Lassie: about a Pal (no joke)
           >> View all 118


     He wore tight jeans and expensive cowboy boots.

They sat in the front porch swing at her parents’ Jonesboro, Georgia house. Their three years of high school romance had raced by just as swiftly as the salt shaker or sugar bowl empties. Now they felt they were young adults in a crazy world of frenzied wars and fury.
 

 
 

“At least I’m no longer a virgin,” she said, breaking a long silence.
 

 
 

He tightened his embrace. He’d hated the arrival of this night. Both had been anxiously feeing its approach. Now it was here and the hurt with it.
 

 
 

“I’ve asked myself why you have to go a million times,” she continued.
 

 
 

“I’m a soldier. I have to go wherever they send me.”
 

 
 

“I’m afraid,” she said.
 

 
 

“Don’t be,” he said. “I’ll be back. I promise.”
 

 
 

“I don’t even know where you’re going. Where is Iraq? Next to Egypt?”
 

 
 

“Something like that. Just don’t worry. And you’re mine, don’t forget it. I love you.”
 

 
 

“Forget it? Very funny. I love you too,” she said.
 

 
 

He kissed her again for the hundredth time that week. A full kiss.
 

 
 

“This is goodbye,” he said with difficulty.
 

 
 

“No it isn’t. I’ll be over in the morning.”
 

 
 

He sighed. “Listen to me, okay? I said no. I don’t wanna see you at 5 am tomorrow. It’s too hard on me.”
 

 
 

Tears flowed again down her face. She started to protest, but then let it go.
 

 
 

He got up and walked off the porch toward his old man’s Land Cruiser. He wore tight jeans and expensive cowboy boots. She stayed in the swing. Goodbyes were unbearable she’d tell her friends later. Especially when you didn’t know if there’d ever be a hello again.

 
 
 

 

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Reviewed by Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com 9/20/2008
RANDALL - WELL DONE!
Reviewed by Brett Moore 3/21/2007
A well written story of a moment with many mysteries. It's true to life in that these questions aren't answered in the moment, which makes it all the more emotional. Well done.

Brett
Reviewed by Guy Hogan 3/21/2007
Very nicely done. This shows a real attention to detail. And there's just enough gentle conflict to keep it going. Is she pregnant? Will he come back? The last line throws everything into relief. It let's the reader know that she realizes he may not come back. The tight jeans and the cowboy boots (the only articles of clothing mentioned) say something about him. Two wonderful details. As far as I can tell there are "no" proof reading errors. You ought to be proud of this one.
Reviewed by Susan Sonnen 3/21/2007
I like the windows that you left open in this. For example, the fact that she mentioned the loss of her virginity leads me to wonder if there might be news of a pregnancy while he's overseas. And his expensive boots cause me to view him as possibly a kid who grew up with all of the luxuries, but was lucky enough to have parents who instilled values of integrity and patriotism in him.
Reviewed by Stan Grimes 3/20/2007
Good write. Sometimes goodbye is the final word especially in this tormented world today.

Thanks for sharing.

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