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True Confessions Of A Mega-Mom. *For Joyce Bowling With Love!* by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Rated "G" by the Author.
The highs and lows of parenting a big family, as experienced by a woman who has taken in many children, most with special needs, into her heart--and home.
Every day I wake up, and the first thing I do is thank God for all the blessings He has bestowed upon my husband, Bill, and myself.
For if it were not for Him, we wouldn't have the family that we do today. We could have spent our parenting years childless and depressed, but God saw fit to bring us children nobody else wanted, children with special needs, children who didn't have a prayer--or a chance--to make it in life.
Now I and my husband are the adoptive parents to an amazing fifty-nine children (soon to be sixty children); we adopted children from places like Africa, Europe, Asia, the Middle East, and North (and South) America. Our children now range in age from a year up to 25 years, and it has gotten to the point to where we can't imagine our family without any of the children, even our newest arrivals, who came to us several months ago from China, Vietnam, India, and Iraq.
Our children obviously have serious medical, physical, or mental needs; their disabilities are immediate upon seeing them for the very first time, but to us, they are children first, and they are perfect in our eyes. Their disabilities just makes them unique, and we want to do all we can to strive on what they can do, not what they can't.
This is also what I stress to others, and when they see our kids, I want them to treat them with the dignity and respect that they so rightfully deserve.
Our children are all Blessings from God, and we consider it to be a privilege to be their parents. We may have many days where we spend a good portion of them at the hospital or worrying about their very lives, but God always brings them through, and they are all living testiments to the Power of God and to the power of the human spirit.
Our children are doing very well in a world not geared for their specific special needs. They just take their wheelchairs, crutches, walkers, canes, or whatnot and just go. They aren't intimidated by life's challenges; in fact, they just pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and go on whenever met by failure. They aren't afraid of anything, and they have accomlished much in their short lives, more than what most people do in an entire lifetime.
Bill and myself stress on that they try their very best; if they make mistakes, it's okay; we just encourage them to try again, and we will back them up in whatever they choose to do. For example, we have a daughter who is an accomplished young vocalist, and we have a son who is studying to become an evangelist in college.
We have a son who has managed to outlive doctor's predictions by nine years (Johnny wasn't expected to live beyond the age of five years), and we have a daughter who is now learning to express herself after years of silence. We have a daughter who is a dwarf who wants to be a writer when she grows up, and we have a daughter who will soon be giving us our seventh grandchild--despite the fact that she lives with cerebral palsy.
Just because the kids are disabled in one way or another doesn't mean that they can't do whatever they want to in life; if given the chance, they will prove the naysayers wrong, each and every time. It never fails.
We want the world to know that just because a particular child is disabled, that doesn't mean that they can't accomplish whatever goals they have in life. They are very able at doing whatever they so desire, and they are very good at teaching others about acceptance of others who are "different" from them, or teaching them about compassion, dignity, and perserverance.
Life is never dull with all these kids around, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. My kids are my world, and I would die for them, I love them so much. My kids mean everything to me, and if anything happens to them or if anyone hurts them in any way, they are going to hear about it. I am their mother; I have a right to protect my kids, yet I also have the right to let them experience life to the full. I am not going to hold them back, and nobody else is either.
In fact, my world is often colored with chaos and confusion. You try parenting sixty kids, and see what it does to you. It takes a lot of intestinal fortitude to do what I do, but I thrive on this. Hey, I am a nurse; I am used to this breakneck speed! LOL So what is parenting sixty kids have to do with this? It's like nursing in so many ways: there's the drama, the excitement, and the satisfaction that your life will never be boring.
There's also the satisfaction in knowing that you are nurturing children who would otherwise never have a chance to succeed in life, and making a huge difference in their world.
No, not everyone is cut out to be a parent (especially a parent to children who happen to be handicapped), but as I alluded to earlier, God blessed me with these special children; I am going to do everything possible to return my thanks to Him and be the best mamma I can possibly be! :)
Another creative story from your busy pen.
You bring the highs and lows to life.....M
Reviewed by d. k
4/4/2007
You are so creative. I love how children are the most important in your writes. You always give wisdom and an isight into a world we don't normally see. I love your writes!
A great person to dedicate your write to my friend......Joyce has one beautiful soul!!
"My kids are my world, and I would die for them, I love them so much. My kids mean everything to me, and if anything happens to them or if anyone hurts them in any way, they are going to hear about it. I am their mother; I have a right to protect my kids, yet I also have the right to let them experience life to the full. I am not going to hold them back, and nobody else is either."
This is what is meant by the term "Mother", Karen. You bring us all to our knees with this stirring and emphatatic pronouncement of what the Heart of the Loving Nurturer is all about... we are on the same page, kind of, today. And I can't think of a more worthy dedication, too. Joyce, too, is just sooooooo special, a gift and gifted, like you demonstrate here. Bless you, Kate xx
Karen you've warmed my heart, put a smile on my face, and made my day! I loved your story...very touching, very real, and full of true compassion! I feel as though I adopt twenty to twenty six with each new school year....I have two little boys in my class that I retained last year, that I truly feel I am their friend, educator, and mother...they are as Ed said the one's who otherwise would never have had a chance...to enjoy friendship, education, school, or life! Your write is wonderful...thank you so much for the tribute, you my friend are the inspiration!
Blessings from Kentucky,
Joyce Bowling
There's also the satisfaction in knowing that you are nurturing children who would otherwise never have a chance to succeed in life, and making a huge difference in their world.
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