Ashton Logan sat alone in the diner, a half eaten corn muffin in front of her.
It was the story of her life. She'd been alone for so long she almost forgot what it was like to be close to someone.
She'd gone to the hockey game alone. She'd come to eat alone.
Alone.
It was the one word that anyone could use to describe her.
It wasn't as if people avoided her. She was an extremely attractive twenty-three year old. Her long, dark hair, flawless complexion and slender figure often brought appreciative glances from both men and women.
She was loved and admired by children. She taught music at an intermediate school and was one of the most popular and respected teachers there.
But she was still alone. She had no family, no real close friends. All she had was a three legged cat who did whatever he wanted to do anyway.
She could remember when times had been better. It seemed like only yesterday when she had been a happy, contented soul who had the world at her fingertips.
Tears slid down her cheeks as she looked at the remains of her muffin. Would she eat alone for the rest of her life? It was such a painful thought.
She looked up and was glad that the diner wasn't busy. It was late, almost midnight. Although there were always people out on the streets of the City That Never Sleeps, the diner had only one other customer and he was sitting all the way down at the other end of the counter. She just felt like crying and she didn't want anybody to look at her if she did.
She didn't know that the other customer was Josh O'Malley until he turned to look at her. So much for crying.
She quickly turned away, her face burning. She had taken her jacket off when she had entered the diner and had been wearing Josh's hockey jersey. He was the goalie for the Wolfpack, her favorite hockey team. She attended their games all the time. Now, he was sitting only a few feet away from her and seeing him there was almost like living a dream.
He was so much better looking than in his pictures. When she saw him, it was always when he was in goal, with his mask covering his handsome face.
Now, he smiled at her and Ashton found herself smiling back at him. He was more handsome than she expected him to be. He had beautiful blue eyes and dark hair that grew slightly long around his face.
She looked down again, her eyes blurring with hot tears. She didn't want him to see her cry. She was about to get up and leave and go home to her four room apartment when she felt a presence near her. She looked up and Josh was standing right next to her. It had to be a dream. It just had to be.
"Do you mind if I sit?" he asked her.
She shook her head and watched as he sat on the stool to her right. She swallowed the lump in her throat as he did so.
"I'm taking it you're a fan," he commented. "I mean, since you're wearing my jersey."
She nodded and gave him a smile.
"You know who I am. What's your name?"
His soft, deep voice poured over her like honey. He smelled clean and fresh. She knew the players took showers after the games. He had put on some aftershave and it was a nice, comforting scent.
"Ashton Logan," she replied.
"Ashton," he repeated. "Nice name."
"Thank you."
"You don't talk much, do you?"
She looked at him, a confused expression on her face.
"I guess you're just shy." He smiled reassuringly at her. "Can I buy you some coffee?"
She shook her head. "No thank you."
Josh studied her. She was really very pretty but he could see how painfully shy she was. Most women threw themselves at him. Josh was often surprised by the attention he got from the opposite sex. He knew a lot of it stemmed from the fact that he was a professional athlete but it still never stopped amazing him. He played hockey for a living because he loved it. He'd been playing the sport ever since he was old enough to put a pair of skates on. He never expected the game would make a sex symbol out of him. Sometimes it amused him. Most of the time, it put him off. He was really a basic guy with basic needs.
Because of the attention he got, he often had a hard time trusting women. He was young yet, only twenty-seven, but he wanted to get married and settle down to have a family. Most of the women he met had only one thing on their minds, to spend their time with him in bed so that they could brag to their friends about it. Some of the bachelors on the team took advantage of their fame but most of his teammates were happily married with kids. He envied them.
He looked at Ashton, admiring her. She was naturally pretty, without any makeup or any fancy baubles. Her long dark brown hair looked soft and silky and he wished he could run his fingers through it. She had nice skin, smooth and slightly dark complexioned. She had lovely eyes too, doe eyes with long lashes that made shadows upon her cheeks.
"Are you a big hockey fan?" he asked her, trying desperately to make conversation with her.
"I have season tickets."
"Who do you go with?" he asked, being nosy and wanting to find out if there was a significant other in her life.
"I go by myself," she told him and could barely keep the sadness from creeping into her voice.
Her answer surprised him. Most women wouldn't go to a hockey game by themselves. They either went with friends or their husband or boyfriend.
"By yourself?" he repeated. "You mean you don't go with your boyfriend?"
There. He'd asked her. He had to find out if there was a guy in her life.
She shook her head. "I don't have a boyfriend."
He was even more puzzled. "So, you don't have a boyfriend and you go to hockey games by yourself. Why?"
She looked at him. "Why what?"
"Why do you go to hockey games by yourself?"
His question confused her but she told him, "I like hockey and I don't have anyone to go with me."
That saddened him. He hated the idea of her being alone but he was certainly glad that she didn't have a boyfriend.
"What about a brother or your dad?"
She shook her head. "I don't have a brother and my father died." She tried desperately not to give in to the tears that threatened to overtake her again.
"I'm sorry." Josh wanted to kick himself. "I didn't mean..."
"It's okay."
She had to be dreaming all of this. Could she really be sitting in the diner talking to Josh O'Malley? When would she wake up?
Josh found talking to her easy although she didn't talk much herself. He found that he could be himself around her and he liked that. She was down to earth and although a fan, didn't seem impressed by having him near her. He liked that a lot. Women were always giggling around him or trying too hard to act sophisticated to get his attention. He liked Ashton's easy going, yet bashful manner. She wasn't trying to be somebody else just to impress him.
He smiled at her. "Do you actually come to every game?"
She nodded. "I've had season tickets for years. My dad used to take me all the time before he died."
He could see how painful it was for her to talk about her father. She must have been very close to him. He hated to see the pain that clouded those pretty eyes of hers.
"What section do you sit in?"
"I have seats right behind the bench."
"Do you?" His eyes lit up. "I'll have to look for you next time."
She didn't say anything to him. What could she say to a man whom she had a silly teenage-like crush on for years? Her dad had teased her about Josh all the time. He had admired the hockey player so much for his skills. He was considered to be the best goalie in the league, had started every single All-Star game since turning pro. He blocked shots that no other goalie could. He was a phenomenon at what he did but he always seemed so down to earth and grateful for everything he had.
If Dad was here, he'd be teasing the hell out of her. He would have been thrilled to meet Josh. He'd given her the jersey that she was wearing on Christmas morning. It was the last Christmas they had ever spent together. He passed away on New Year's Eve of a sudden heart attack. That had only been three years ago and she had never gotten over his death. Her father had been everything to her. She didn't remember much about her mother since she had died when Ashton was a baby. Her dad had raised her on his own and had given her the best of everything. They were as close as two people could be. He'd always been her hero. She still missed him terribly.
Suddenly, the tears came in a torrent and Ashton turned away from him. She threw money down on the counter to pay for her muffin and hot chocolate that had long since turned cold and ran out of there as fast as she could. She had to get away from Josh because she couldn't let him see the tears in her eyes. She didn't want him to think her a weak person.
"Ashton! Wait!" Josh called and then went to run after her.
It was frigid outside. Josh didn't mind the cold air but she had left her jacket in the diner and he wanted to give it to her so that she wouldn't feel chilled. He realized that he wanted to be the one to keep her warm. He wanted to keep her safe in the shelter of his arms. What was it about the pretty, shy woman with the sad eyes that made him feel this way?
She was running across the street, running fast to get away from him. She ran faster when she heard him calling after her.
"Ashton, wait! You forgot your jacket!" He ran after her. His speed had always helped him as a goaltender. It helped him to get in and out of the crease when he had to. Now, it helped him to catch up to her.
He grabbed her arm to stop her. "Your jacket."
"Thank you." She took it from him and kept walking. She didn't look at him. She couldn't.
"Wait." He was right beside her. "Why are you crying? Did I say anything to you that hurt you in any way?"
She shook her head.
"Then what is it? Please tell me. I have to know."
She shook her head again.
"Okay. I understand if you don't want to tell me. I'm just sorry to see you so upset. Can't we go somewhere and sit down and talk?"
"I have to go home." She brushed at her tears with the back of her hand.
"Do you live close by? I'll walk you home."
"It's okay," she assured him, finally looking into the depths of his sea-blue eyes. "I'll be fine."
"I don't think you will. Why are you crying? I can't just let you walk away, you know." He wanted so much to dry her tears away himself.
"I'm okay, really. I just got upset thinking about my dad. He died three years ago and I've never gotten over it. He raised me by himself and we were very close. He was a big fan of yours, you see, and he'd never believe that I'm talking to you right now. He gave me the jersey I'm wearing the last Christmas that we were together. I just miss him. I have no other family and no close friends and I'm tired of being lonely. I'm just so tired of it. I have no one to talk to. I miss my dad. He was like my best friend."
He watched her, hopeless, as her whole body shook with her sobs. He didn't know quite what to say to her to make her feel better so all he really could do was put his arms around her and hold her close to him. He didn't want to scare her away by doing that but he couldn't help himself.
Ashton was grateful to him for doing that. She needed to feel close to someone. She buried her face in the warm texture of his Wolfpack jacket and cried against him. He was so tall and so strong and she felt safe with him. He had a nice physique. He was hard and muscular and the scent of his aftershave affected her to her very core. This was Josh O'Malley holding her and she was still convinced that it was a dream. She was sure that she would wake up and find herself in bed with her three-legged cat right beside her. She was sure that she couldn't possibly be standing outside in the below zero temperatures in the arms of a hockey player that she thought the world of.
"Are you all right now?" he asked gently, his soft voice filled with concern for her.
She nodded. "I'm sorry." She looked up at him. "I'm a mess right now. Seeing you makes me think of my dad. When I go to the games, I can sometimes feel him with me, cheering you on. He loved you. I go to the arena and I'm okay. I can deal with being by myself there but now here, alone with you, well, I guess I just never expected to meet you. It came as a shock to me seeing you sitting there. And then when you approached me..."
"I'm sorry if I'm bringing back painful memories for you." He honestly meant that. The last thing in the world he'd ever want to do was hurt her.
"It's not your fault. I'm sitting back there in the diner minding my own business and then I look up and there you are. I just got back from the game an hour ago. It seems too much like a dream to me."
"I'm glad I went to the diner tonight," he told her, meaning that. "I'm so glad I met you."
"Where do you usually go after a home game?"
"Sometimes, a few guys get together for a late dinner but usually I just go home to get a good night's sleep. I felt restless tonight. I played poorly and I guess I just wanted to be by myself to think things out."
"I don't think you played poorly. You're not capable of that but you did seem pretty distracted to me."
"I was," he admitted. "To tell you the truth, I've been depressed lately and I guess I've been taking it out on the ice with me."
"Why are you depressed? Do you mind if I ask you that?"
"Of course not. I'm depressed because in a way, I'm alone like you are. I have a family and I have friends but I have no one to go home too. Most of the guys on the team are married and I don't have anyone. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and all I can think about is sitting home by myself while everyone else is buying flowers for their wives and girlfriends and taking them out for a nice, romantic dinner. I know I shouldn't let that have any effect on my performance. I gave up two stupid, sloppy goals in the third period and I blew the game. Why? Because I have nobody to buy flowers for. Is that pathetic or what?"
"No, it's not. How can you even say that? All the girls scream for you at the games. Any one of them would die to be your girlfriend. They'd want to buy flowers for you."
He laughed. "I don't have any patience for them because all they care about is being with someone who's famous. I'm a hockey player. That's what I do. The same way you're a...what do you do anyway?"
"I'm a music teacher."
He was impressed and it showed by the look on his face. "A music teacher? That must be a great job to have."
She smiled. "It is. I love it. I love my kids."
"If you were my teacher I'd bring you an apple everyday," he said to her in a tender voice.
She smiled again.
He couldn't help but smile back at her. "I like that."
"What?"
"I like when you smile. You have a great smile. And you look really cold to me. Please, why don't we go back to the diner and sit down and talk for awhile? I'll buy you some coffee."
She shook her head. "I can't do that. I can't. I have to get home and...well, I just have to get home."
"You don't want to be with me, do you? I bring back too many memories for you, memories that hurt you."
"I do want to be with you. That's what scares me."
"I don't bite, you know."
"I know you don't," she said quietly, shyly again.
"You told me that you were tired of being alone. Well, so am I. I don't want to be alone anymore either. Please, let's go somewhere. It's really cold out. You're freezing. I can see you shivering."
She thought it over for a minute. How could she even think of turning Josh down like that? It was either go with him and enjoy the company of another human being or go home and share her bed with a seventeen pound cat.
"Okay," she agreed. "We can go back to the diner."
"Great! Now you're finally talking!" He held his arm out to her and she hooked hers through it.
They walked back to the diner and this time, sat in a booth across from each other.
They ordered hot chocolate and Josh insisted on buying her something to eat. Only moments before, she had left most of a corn muffin on her plate but now, they ordered pancakes together and she found herself suddenly hungry.
They made small talk together and she was surprised that Josh showed an honest interest in her life.
"My dad died of a heart attack," she told him when he gently asked her about him. "My mom died when I was three. My dad raised me by himself and we were really close. He was my best friend. I had always hoped that he would meet someone else because he seemed so lost sometimes. We did everything together. He loved taking me to the games all the time. He died on New Year's Eve three years ago and it was unexpected. He'd always been so healthy. I don't know what happened. It was a big shock. My dad meant the world to me."
"I'm sorry," he said softly and meant it. "I can see how much you miss him and how much pain his death has caused you. It's hard to get over something like that. You don't have any other family?"
She shook her head. "There's nobody except for Mikey."
"Who's Mikey?"
She smiled. "My cat. He's got three legs and a mind of his own."
"Three legs? What happened to him?"
"He was hit by a car and taken to a shelter. His leg had to be amputated. I felt bad for him and decided to adopt him."
"Does he get around like that?"
"Oh sure. He's fine. He's spoiled rotten. I tend to think of him as my baby sometimes. Maybe it's because I have nobody else."
"Well, I think it's nice that you took him home with you. I'm sure he really appreciates that."
She smiled. "He could care less. All he cares about is when the next meal is coming. He's a chubster."
Josh laughed. "A chubster? I think I'd like to meet him."
She took a bite of her pancake, realizing that she was enjoying Josh's company immensely. It had been a long time since she had sat with someone having a good, heart to heart talk.
"Hey." Josh glanced at his watch. "It's Valentine's Day."
"Is it midnight already?"
"Yes, it is. Happy Valentine's Day." He grinned at her. "Will you be my valentine?"
She returned his smile. "I'd like that a lot."
They finished the rest of their pancakes in silence, just happy to be together.
When they were finished eating, they made small talk together. They chatted about their interests and hobbies and Ashton was surprised to find herself put so at ease with Josh. He had such an easygoing manner and was so down to earth. It was hard for her to believe that he was a famous athlete loved and admired by millions of people. He acted like a regular guy with her and he had a way of making her feel good.
"It's getting late," she finally told him. "I really should be going home." She didn't want her time with Josh to ever end but it was safer for her now to part from him than to prolong it. It would be hard to say goodbye no matter when they did but she believed that sooner was better than later.
"Okay," he replied and in that one small word, she could see that he had regrets of their time coming to an end too.
He paid the bill and they left the diner together.
The street was quiet, the night air colder than before. As they spoke, their breath appeared before them. Josh took her gloved hand in his and she felt butterflies in her stomach. Who would have believed that she was holding hands with Josh O'Malley?
They passed a small deli that was open 24 hours.
"Wait," Josh suddenly told her. "Stay here for a minute. I'll be right back." And he quickly disappeared into the store before she could say anything.
He came out a moment later carrying a small bouquet of flowers and a little red heart with chocolates in it.
"This is all they had left," he told her as he gave them to her. "It's kind of chintzy but I wanted to get something for you. Happy Valentine's Day."
Tears filled her eyes as she accepted his gifts. "Thank you," she said softly to him. "That was so sweet of you to do that." She was sincerely touched by his gesture and her heart felt lighter than it did before.
"I wanted to."
She reached up to kiss him on his cheek. Josh looked at her, into her big, brown eyes and he suddenly pulled her into his arms. They kissed deeply and when she pulled away, he smiled at her.
"I don't want to leave you. Can I come to your place for awhile? I promise I won't try anything on you. I wouldn't want that three legged cat of yours to come after me. I don't know what it is about you, Ashton, but I can't seem to want to say goodbye to you."
She smiled, touched by what he said. She felt the same way about him too. "I guess it would be okay. I'm not that far from here. I usually walk home. It takes about 20 minutes."
"I can go back and get my car and we can drive to your place. It's parked back at the arena. It's awfully cold for you to be walking such a distance. I'd hate for you to be out in this weather when you could be in a nice, warm car."
"We can do that if you want. There's a garage by my apartment building. You can park your car there." Again, his thoughfulness touched her very soul.
They walked back to the arena to retrieve his car.
The drive only took a few minutes but Ashton was grateful for the cozy warmth of his car. It was a lot better than walking in the freezing night air.
She gave him directions on how to get to her apartment building. Once on her block, she showed him where he could park his car.
Josh was pleasantly surprised at where she lived. Her neighborhood was rather exclusive and quiet and her apartment building was nice and well maintained. Once inside, they walked up one flight of stairs to get to her apartment. Ashton always hating taking the elevator just to go up to the first floor. The doorman had greeted her, calling her "Miss Logan" and asked her how her evening had been. She responded kindly to him and Josh wondered why she was always alone. She had a manner which welcomed people in, a warmth that was brighter than the sun itself. She was like a drug to him and he found himself quickly addicted to her.
They reached her apartment and she began to unlock the door. She suddenly turned to him. "I've never done this before and now it's starting to scare me."
"What's scaring you?"
"Inviting you in. I like being with you a lot and you're sweet and kind but..."
"Ashton." He put his strong hands on her shoulders. "I'm not going to try anything on you, honest. You've got to trust me. I'll admit that the thought has crossed my mind several times since I met you but I promise to behave myself. I've thought about kissing you a lot and holding you in my arms but I won't let anything happen between us if you don't want it too. Please trust me."
Edward Rutherford is prepared to do just about anything to escape an arranged marriage to a woman he despises. But his brilliant plan to feign insanity has some rather unwanted consequences...
