I needed knee surgery a few years back as a result of some idiot driving with a suspended license in his mother’s car totaling my 1999 convertible camaro, totally loaded with power everything and leather upholstery. That car was immaculate and my baby, and this person totaled it.
Any way, my mother came from Mississippi to take care of me after my knee surgery. We got to the hospital at 5:30 in the morning and I went into surgery at 6:00. By 10:00 they wheeled me out to the car and helped me in. I was supposed to go straight home and into bed. My mother took me to Fred’s, for those of you who aren’t familiar with this chain of stores, it is a tiny bit more up scale than Family Dollar. I don’t know what we needed at Fred’s but I do remember being wheeled around the store in a wheelchair while the girls at the check out took care of my crutches.
After we got home again, I got into bed and mother mopped the kitchen floor, laying a towel between the kitchen linoleum and the carpet in the living room. I called for her to ask for a glass of water but she was on the phone and I thought I could manage to get it for myself. HAH! My crutches slipped on the towel, on the way down, I hit the table, the wall, a chair, and ended up in the garbage can.
After I recovered from my knee surgery, finally, my mom called and said she needed my help as she was having knee surgery from stepping in a hole and oh by the way, she needed me to help her kill some chickens. I grew up on a farm and mother still keeps a few chickens. I told her I would be glad to come and help her, the entire time thinking that I wouldn’t take care of her like she took care of me.
On my way across the Escawtapa River Bridge on I-10, my younger brother called my cell phone. Could I do him a favor and take the boys to football practice? Sure I said in ignorance. My younger brother has 4 children, 2 girls and 2 boys. When I got to my family home, I found out that not only was I supposed to take the boys to football practice; I was supposed to stay with them all week. Then he and his wife took the baby girl and left for Texas. Wonderful!
Monday morning went well and I thought I would catch a few more winks before helping kill the chickens. No such luck. Mom called and said get dressed and be there in 15 minutes. Mom talks, you jump. I got down to her house and found out that there weren’t a FEW chickens, there were 59 roosters in a ½ acre chicken yard! “Mom”, I said, “Don’t you think it would be a good idea to wait until tonight and put some chicken wire across the roost and then we can just go in tomorrow and pick them up?” “No”, she said, “We are going to do it this way.” This way was me chasing the chickens into the corners and her scooping them up with a swimming pool skimming net. I only wish someone had been filming this. I am sure it would have won the Funniest Home Video award. Two grown women running around this pen full of rooster with a pool net. My mom is Holiness and wears her dresses calf length, and sleeves no shorter than ¾ length.
On the third day of this chicken ordeal, I tripped over a root or a vine and landed on, you guessed it, my bad knee. The doctor at the emergency room said both bones and my knee cap were very badly bruised and sent for a brace to immobilize my knee. Somewhere between the emergency room and where ever they keep these braces, I grew a foot. I am 5’3” tall. The brace they brought for me was for someone 6’3”. I made major MODIFICATIONS to this brace, including throwing away the 3 steel rods that kept poking me in my bottom. And I found out that mother hadn’t even scheduled her surgery!
Stand by for more. This saga will come in bits. But I promise you, every word is the absolute truth!
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Reviewed by David Perry
10/2/2007
Howling! This is a clear case of retribution from the chicken god.
Reviewed by LadyJtalks LadyJzTalkZone
6/30/2007
Yep standing by. I believe it, some things you wouldn't make up. Lady J
If you catch your chickens with a swmming pool skim net.....you might be LOL...I grew up on a farm and chasing chickens can be hard on the knees!!
Funny
A wicked Cajun Fairy named Robes Pierre entered the impenetrable Magical doll land of Sha Bebe. Queen Faustina, the ruler of the doll land, thought she had destroyed him, but he's back! Will the doll land survive his evil ways?
Let this coming of age story of a boy named Bean take you back to a simple time. Set in a small southern town in the 1960's, encircled by a river and gleaming white cotton fields.
A wicked Cajun Fairy named Robes Pierre entered the impenetrable Magical doll land of Sha Bebe. Queen Faustina, the ruler of the doll land, thought she had destroyed him, but he's back! Will the doll land survive his evil ways?
