The busy city clerk hailed a taxi. As he sat in comfort he relised he could do two jobs in one by asking the driver to pull up at an office where he'd deliver a set of keys before proceeding to his destination. To attract the driver's attention to his altered route, he gently tapped his shoulder.

The car swerved violently. The taxi mounted the kerb and stopped inches from a shop window narrowly missing a mother and pram.

"I'm very sorry. I did not mean to frighten you," the passenger meekly apologised.

"Oh it's not your falt" said the taxi driver somewhat surprisingly.

"You see it's my first day as a taxi driver. I used to drive .....a hearse."