this is the 1st chapter of a book i'm writing about a poor girl who leads the gypsies...i may put up more of the story later if enough people ask me to
Chapter 1
“You stupid insolent girl, you can’t do anything right”, Katie fell to her knees and pleaded “please mother please, do not through me out.” Katie hit the gravel road and her mother slammed the door. Katie picked herself up and walked toward the bamboo forest. “I wonder if she’ll let me back in when it gets cold, mmhm I wonder.” Katie closed her eyes and breathed in the cool Indian air, Katie was an American girl, but when her family died in a fire she was sent away to India to live with her godmother.
Katie found her secret little waterfall and sat with her feet just touching the water. “hello, who are you, are you from England” “me, oh no I’m American what are you?” a young boy just about 2 years older than Katie pulled himself from the water and sat himself on a statue head “I am English but I grew in Ireland and then here when I was about 10.” Katie smiled faintly “and you live with your mother and father?” the boy laughed “oh no, but yes if you call a king a father.”
Katie pushed herself of the ledge and swam around in the cool water “where do you live then, in a palace of some kind.” They boy looked at Katie as if he’d never seen a human before “I suppose you could call it a palace, you have realized that throughout this conversation we have not exchanged names.” Katie stopped in her stroke “oh I am Katie, what is your name young sir.”
The boy sat back on his heels “mmhm, now that is the question my name, my name I think it’s umm” “well you do have a name, don’t you?” the boy fell onto his knees “I do it changed when I moved here, my name is hunter yea that’s it hunter, that’s what my mother called me.” Katie laughed “and what name do you go by now?” “I can not say for the king might not like it, but now it’s my turn to ask you a few questions.”
Katie pulled herself up on a rock directly across from hunter “alright then ask away” hunter brought his hand to his chin “where are your mother and father” “dead, along with my baby brother, fire while I was at school on a stormy day.” Hunter looked down with heavy eyes “alright where do you live” Katie rubbed her skinned forearms “with my godmother well at least I hope I still live with her.” Hunter jumped in the water and swam around, Katie looked curiously at him he looked so different in the water “so you have no home then” “who me, oh no she’ll take me back and I’ll have a home once more.”
Hunter pulled himself from the water and shook himself dry, “shall I take you than, it will be getting cold quite soon and a damp girl on a cold night will not be alright in the end.” Katie stepped out of the water and hunter wrapped his cloche around her arms “get dry we don’t want an excuse for your godmother to be angry with you all damp.” Katie smiled and walked back toward the gravel road she came from, soon she and hunter came to a poorly kept cottage “just a day I am away and a sty she has this place.”
“She is a gluten and lazy I can imagine you cook and clean and rarely get meals that fill your stomach.” Katie shook her head “no I do cook and clean but I am fed because I am the one feeding, she is a gluten and a lazy person but a roof over my head and food I can live with.” Hunter took his cloche and walked away “perhaps my king would like to hear of you, if your home is taken from you once more come to the place we met and perhaps I can hear what happened this time.” Katie placed a hand on the knob “but I never told you I …..” “I figured it out, don’t worry your secret is safe with me.” Katie walked in the cottage just to find her god mother waiting for her on the couch “and where my darling have you been?” Katie walked into the sitting room and stood prepared for another tossing.
“Mother I have been gone from your loving eyes for I was through out of your lovely home this morning.” Katie’s god mother stood up “you accuse me of hurting you”, Katie hit her knees “no god mother a shadow creature pushed me from our home whilst you slept.” The god mother sat herself down “off to the kitchen with you now, just because you have been tossed you shall not forget your duties” Katie walked into the kitchen and closed the doors behind her. Katie sat up on the counter so she could reach a pot hanging to far for her to reach, a loud crash came to her godmothers ears.
“You stupid girl what was that you brake a pot more than your arms will be skinned” Katie jumped off the counter she kneeled on. “No my mother not a thing broken in here just a pan of mine own that hath fallen, your supper shall be finished in the next half hour no more than that” the godmother shifted on a leather chair that made Katie jump. Just as Katie started to make her godmother supper hunter was making his way to the “palace” in which he lived, a tall tan skinned man walked up to him “and where have you been off to all day young one” hunter smiled “I’ve been swimming all day with a young girl, she strikes me so she is so puzzling yet so common she reminds me of the moon so changing but so constant in its changing so confusing yet so simple.”
The king placed an arm on hunters shoulder “and the name you gave in your introduction my boy was?” Hunter laughed loudly so that the entire court turned and stared “a name now that was the accward situation, for the life of me I could not figure out my name, but hunter I told her I looked at her and for some reason I remembered my mother yelling Hunter, Hunter come in the house.” The king laughed and looked at Hunter “but your name you didn’t release to the young girl” “no my king, but a question I do have, she was thorough out of her home her godmother dose not care for her and she has been thorough out many times before, the scars line her arms.”
The king looked down onto the young boy “if she has nowhere to go I guess she could be one of us, but do not revile who you are or what you are.” Hunter sat himself on a chair and held his head in his hands. “Is that supper done yet?” Katie jumped back up on the counter to reach the last pot she needed and it fell to the floor “you break one thing in there and you’ll never come home again.” Katie cleaned up the water she had spilled and presented the meal to her godmother, “here my mother may I get you anything else” “yes tea hot and lime then clean yourself up wrap those arms as well you better not have gotten blood in this food.”
Katie ran down to the cellar and wrapped her arms as fast as she could “lime you said dear mother” “lime you said dear mother, of course do you learn nothing” Katie got the tea and lime all fixed on the tray and presented it to her god mother “and you stupid girl and I supposed to drink it from the pot a cup you insolent child.” Katie again had to jump up on the counter to reach the tea cups and with a crash Katie and three tea cups fell and broke on the floor “that is enough with you” the godmother walked into the kitchen and found the smashed tea cups “you idiot child you break everything you touch” the god mother took the tea pot and turned it over on Katie’s poorly wrapped arms and locked her in her room.
Katie sat in her room crying when she herd a tap at the window “who could that be?” The window was flung open by the wind and Katie saw Hunter sitting on the tree outside her window “Hunter why are you in a tree on such a horrid night” Hunter stepped into Katie’s room “was she angry when you….what happened to your arms” Katie pulled her arms behind her back “a tea pot fell onto them” “you lie she did this to you.” Katie winced out of pain from her dress hitting her burnt arms “here give me your arms I have this cloth that we can wrap them with so they don’t hurt” Katie looked at the concern in Hunter’s face “ok if you insist.”
Hunter wrapped Katie’s arms and sat down on the stool in her room “you know its dark now, come away with me live with me in my palace, we can slip under the cover of darkness” Katie griped her wrapped arms “I can not leave here if she makes me leave here and doesn’t except me back in her home I will come away for I will be able to live my life.” Hunter started his way out of the window “I will come back every night until the day you leave this horrid place with me.” Katie crawled into bed and for the first night she didn’t cry herself to sleep, Hunter walked his way up the path and soon came to his palace and slept under his sky.
The next morning Katie awoke very early to find her godmother sitting with a man, this man was quite tall and very strange to her he was dressed in all black and had a gold chain in his waist coat. Katie curtseyed and then stood very tall “hello good sir I am Kate Benningside who may I inquire are you?” “Sir Dungsly” Katie walked into the kitchen and started to make breakfast but hushed herself so she could listen. “and you say she’s worth that much” “yes sir she is cooks and cleans” “that injury might dock the price” “oh no sir she moves just as fast and mends herself.” “$100 are you sure” “that I am sir” Katie came into the sitting room and presented tea and breakfast for both her godmother and Sir Dungsly “is there anything special I can get you sir” the man looked at Katie for what seemed like days “unwrap those arms let me see.”
Katie unwrapped her arms wincing out of pain; under the wrapping the man could see scraps, cuts, scratches and blisters “now how did you manage these.” Katie closed her eyes for a moment’s time “yesterday I was a bit clumsy mother asked me to pick a flower to press in her book and I tripped out the door that’s the cuts, scratches and scraps and then while fixing tea for mother and me and I slipped and the pot of tea fell on my arms as you can see from the blisters.” The man looked at Katie’s god mother and than to Katie “I see no, no use to me far too nice I need someone with a little more, she will not do” the man walked out of the house and pulled out onto the gravel road.
“You good for nothing child can’t you do anything right” a sharp pain came to Katie’s arms as her god mother slapped her across the most blistered part of her arms “mother no please I did not know what he expected of me” the god mother grabbed Katie by the arms so hard Katie shrieked out of pain. The god mother through Katie to the floor and grabbed her cloche from the mantle “if I can’t sell you to the mullah rouge what use are you” the god mother spit at Katie and through the cloche to the floor. Katie didn’t stir her pain was to immense for her to move the god mother grabbed her by the wrists and through her to the gravel road out the door, Katie shrieked in pain as she hit the road arms first.
Katie crawled up the road and cried. Hunter just about this time was walking to the waterfall, he herd faint sobs from the bushes next to the road “no not again, not Katie again” Hunter ran to the bushes and through himself to the ground “Katie what has she done to you”. Katie buried her face in the ground not wanting Hunter to see her tear stained face “leave me I am worthless.” Hunter looked down on Katie’s bloody arms where the flesh had been skinned from around her wrists “you must come away with me, you promised.” Katie turned to look in his eyes “I can not she will take me back for sure” Hunter pulled her into his arms “you can not face this everyday come away with me just for the day the whole day” Katie closed her eyes and buried her face in his shoulder “I will.”
Hunter covered Katie’s eyes and took her to a beautiful forest where all kinds of fruit grew “now my dear there’s something you should know about me, the world is my land I sleep under my sky” Hunter uncovered her eyes “and this is my kitchen” Katie ran to the apple tree in the middle of the forest and brought one back to hunter “an apple for you to never touch for we will surely be kicked out of the garden of Eden.” Hunter placed the apple on a small hill under the tree.
“Never touch it” Katie laughed at hunter and gathered fruit in her apron, “this is your kitchen the sky belongs to you and who do the stars belong to?” hunter laughed “well my dear the stars can belong to you everyone in my sky.”
Hi Lilly,
I think it's really amazing that you have the discipline to write at such an early age. You have three of the most important qualities for a writer -
- Discipline
- Imagination
- Enthusiasm for what you write.
You need to now apply yourself to the hardest part of writing and clear up the many spelling, grammatical and punctuation errors in your work. If you do this, you will improve your chances of success enormously.
Please, do NOT be discouraged by this. Many writers, much older than you fail to recognise the need for properly edited work. Now, another note of warning here, DO NOT GO AND BUY AN EDITING SERVICE. Such services will take your money and leave you much worse off than you were when you started.
You need to carefully read your work yourself, and if possible, get other writers to carefully take you through problem areas.
You have all the time in the world, so keep writing and get as much feedback as you can.
I self-published my first novel. However, I first submitted it for editorial review. Once the review came back, I spent weeks on an editorial clean-up, but then won an Editor's Choice award for excellence - I did it myself and the exercise taught me a hell of a lot.
Yankee Doodle Daddy is a historical Appalachian Family Saga. The story follows a mother's reckoning as she struggles to survive and keep her four daughters alive.
Exploring the impact of literary icon Flannery O'Connor's noted legacy on the cultural realities of modern-day America, the world, and a certain author.
