This was written for another internet contest, the closest I got to actually winning one, the point being to write about an event in one's own life in the style of another written work. I chose the King James Bible.
12. And it came to pass that Tiger left his father's house to go forth in search of a wife. 13. And, in the land of Arlington, during the reign of Reagan, Tiger dwelt in the House of Noel. 14. In the grand temples of knowledge by day and in the marketplace in the evening, Tiger grew to be a man. 15. Then, one evening, upon returning from market, a visitor appeared at the door and asked comfort to await the arrival of a friend.
16. Tiger allowed this visitor into the House of Noel. 17. And the stranger spoke with Tiger. He offered a strange wrapped incense to Tiger. 18. And then he bade Tiger to burn the stick. The stranger spoke, Inhale its vapors deeply. 19. And Tiger inhaled. His spirits lifted and his vision cleared.
20. And soldiers had followed the stranger to the House of Noel. Soldiers entered to arrest Tiger and his visitor. 21. Intoxicating incense was banned in the region. The stranger was shown to be a smuggler of the substance and, had hidden a large cache within the House of Noel. 22. A stern magistrate confronted Tiger with serious charges.
23. And Tiger trembled and prayed. Another magistrate intervened and spoke kindly. 24. Go forth with my servant and learn from his guidance. Come not before me again. 25. Tiger dreampt often of the intoxicating incense of the House of Noel.
