August 10, 2007, 10:06 a.m., D.S.T., Lafayette, Louisiana~

Dear Naomi, Rebekkah Rachel, and Micah~

I am sorry for being a friend. That was all I was trying to be. I didn't mean for things to spiral out of control like they did. Now because of my insensitive comments about somebody, two freinds are mad at each other, my son Johnny is in tears, Ronee' is being theatened, and now it's getting to the point to where I am getting afraid of opening my mouth, for fear of saying yet another wrong thing, for fear of offending someone.

I ddin't mean to pit Susie against Rebekkah; I didn't mean to accuse Susie of being selfish. It was very wrong of me to think this. Yet it appears to me that y'all have put me in the middle, asking me to choose sides. It seems that Susie is doing all she can to destroy friendships. She is a most bitter, unhappy person, and it seems to me that she wants everyone to be like her--miserable.

I understand that she was sexually abused, raped, and sodomized by her very own father (and by other people); it's no wonder her emotions are so extreme; it's no wonder she doesn't trust people; it's no wonder she has closed herself off except for a very select few. Yet it hurts me to the core to see a child like her having to endure such incredible hell, such unspeakable pain. I should know this, as several of my own children (Richard, Deborah, Melizza, etc.) have gone through this very thing themselves by people in their lives; yet they got the help they needed, and all are now fine (for the most part). I would like to see Susie get the help; I don't want to see her suffering anymore.

I also don't need to be put in the middle, because as you know, I'm now pregnant--with twins! Both boys! I don't  need the risk of losing two more children! I go through more stress than most people; it's a miracle I still carry on as well as I do! It's also a miracle I've carried the babies this far in my pregnancy (and I'm nearly five months along now)! Yet I'm a very strong person; I have to be. I refuse to let life's trials knock me down. Oh, they may try, believe me, but I always come back swingin'! (I often compare myself to the crawfish they have back in Louisiana: back me up in a corner, and my claws come out, ready to strike! Yes, that's me!)

We've been toying with the names Ian Charles and Isaiah Cameron. What do you think? Let me know! (If the twins had been girls, we were thinking of naming them Wren Carolina and Willow Clarice.) We also had Winston Cade, Gaston Pierce, Merle Daniel, and Storm Preston, but then we thought of Ian and Isaiah, and it appears that those are the names that we are going to stick with in naming our two new little boys.

Well, if you want to write back to me, I'll be waiting. If not, then I am willing to terminate our friendship and call it quits. You then won't be hearing from me again. Again, I'm very sorry for being so bold in my approach; I should have known better than to stick my nose where it didn't belong. Please forgive me and accept my apologies. In the meantime, I don't think I can ever forgive myself for the damage I've caused.

~Sincerely, Louisiana Mayrah Sandusky. :( >tears!<