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Paramedic Stories: EMT Follies, Or What NOT To Do! (By George Guzman) by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Friday, August 17, 2007
Rated "G" by the Author.
A paramedic shares some of the funnier sides of being a paramedic/EMT, and he gives advice to future paramedic/EMTS what NOT to do.
Amidst all the high drama or excitement that we paramedics/EMTs face on our daily runs, there is room for funny (or comedic) moments. During the years I have been a paramedic/EMT, I have learned some things down the road; I will share with them now. (This is of particular interest to those who are considering Emergency Medicine as a possible career.)
Here are but a few of the things I have come to learn:
*Don't forget to unhook the oxygen tubing before removing a patient from the rear of an ambulance.
*Don't forget to remove a tourniquet after you find that hard-to-find vein with the I.V. Patients usually require a clear blood flow to all parts of the body, and the ER staff doesn't like it when a patient's arm turns blue, purple, or black (choose your color).
*Try not to vomit after doing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. This grosses everyone out but small boys, who find it hilariously funny.
*Try to avoid having the cot's wheels roll over I.V. equipment, yanking the tubing out. Patients (unless unconscious, that is), family members, friends, and neighbors hate it when that happens.
*Don't dramatically scoop up the trauma kit on the scene without securing the latches. It does not look good when you drop all your shit on the ground; it only makes you look like a bloomin' idiot.
*Avoid running out ten miles of EKG paper because you forgot to turn the monitor off.
*Make sure the rear doors of the ambulance are locked tight, tight, and make sure the patient's gurney is locked securely in place before you go roaring from the scene. The patient doesn't like it when he or she goes bouncing out onto a highway, and the cars' drivers don't like dodging a lone stretcher that's sitting right smack dab in the middle of the road.
*Never put a pediatric-sized blood pressure cuff on your arm for entertainment purposes. The kid might find it hilarious, but as for you, you are worried that your eyes are going to pop right out of your head--not to mention, lose all circulation in your arm, which is, by now, turning a violent shade of purple.
*Never, ever yell: "EVERYBODY, CLEAR!!", then proceed to shock yourself with the defibrillator.
*Never run out of ideas to lighten the mood of your fellow paramedics/EMT's, particularly if you are having a bad day. Somehow, fake vomit, fake protruding eyeballs, rubber snakes, and other practical joke items seem to make the bad day better, especially if your co-workers are nearly turning blue as they collapse into a massive giggling fit. I find that humor works wonders in a job such as mine.
Lord knows, we need all the humor we can possibly get--and lots of it. Too often, our days are tempered with sadness, human suffering, and death. There aren't many days of laughter or cutting up. I've lost too many partners in the past because the job got to them. This is when humor comes into play. Our boss, Kendall Smith, was the one who suggested some "down time" between runs, or do things like play practical jokes on one another (just as long as they are done within good taste). We are so glad he did: otherwise our team of current members would have never stuck together this long.
We consider our sense of humor as the saving grace of our careers. It was (and still is) the best thing that could have ever happened to us.
Of course, we also have a whole bank of stories that are guaranteed to be side-splitters. One doesn't need to be involved in Emergency Medicine to appreciate good, clean humor, but it sure does help.
God bless our boss, and others like him, to incorporate humor in a high-maintenance job that has ruined many good men!
Practical jokes or funny experiences make our job worthwhile. It keeps us sane, and it makes us appreciate every day. It also helps lighten the mood of scared, hurting patients who could use a little joy in their lives during scary or difficult situations. They say humor is great healing medication, so our jokes or funny stuff fits right in. Everyone needs humor in their lives; we are certainly no exception!
~Written by George "Goose" Guzman, Paramedic/EMT, Nashville, Tennessee. :)
FUNNNNNNNNY!! Yes indeed. My husband is an air-ambulance pilot. I thoroughly understand the need for humor in a role that sometimes feels thankless. You are all the true heros.
Humor is important. July 28,2007, my 14 year old grandson broke his arm half in two at a Skating Ring Party. The lower part of his arm was hanging down. It was broken between the wrist and the elbow. His blood pressure dropped and he was going into shock. Till this day he talks of how funny the paramedic was that sat beside him on that ride to the hospital. Later at the hospital the same paramedic came back to bring another patient to ER. He made a quick visit to my grandson's ER bed side. My grandson smiled as soon as the paramedic appeared in the doorway. The break was so severe, the doctor's had to put him in a twilight sleep to cast it. If he was not still growing, they would have operated. But, since he is still growing, the body will help pull the bone back in place. He is still being seen at The Orthopaedic Hospital weekly. They have to keep a close watch on the arm, to make sure nothing moves. In his case, humor helped a great deal on the way to the hospital.
I totally agree that humour is an absolute MUST for any Saint considering this as a vocation. It MUST be the only way to stay sane...and, incidentally, not too long ago and not too far away from me on my local motorway, those ambulance door opened up and the stretcher plus patient got away! It was sadly not a happy ending, but then, neither is being struck by lightning or anything else that sounds vaguely comical. I was pleased to read of how, in the midst of such agony of existance, humour could and does present itself. Thank you for this window, Karen. Bless you, Kate xx
This is so brilliant - who would have thought of these things? Humor has its place in every walk of life...this would be GREAT illustrated for the Far Side calendar! Especially this one--->
this is just too funny! Thanks for the story today, Karen Lynn...be well you and Karla...
*Make sure the rear doors of the ambulance are locked tight, tight, and make sure the patient's gurney is locked securely in place before you go roaring from the scene. The patient doesn't like it when he or she goes bouncing out onto a highway, and the cars' drivers don't like dodging a lone stretcher that's sitting right smack dab in the middle of the road.
Love,
Sage
Reviewed by Victor Buhagiar
8/17/2007
Great write. I have never needed EMT. Hope I never will. Victor
Somehow, fake vomit, fake protruding eyeballs, rubber snakes, and other practical joke items seem to make the bad day better, especially if your co-workers are nearly turning blue as they collapse into a massive giggling fit. I find that humor works wonders in a job such as mine.
It works wonders in many a job, and glad to hear yours has its hilarous moments, too.
Life as a paramedic is never dull, especially with Goose on call! Too funny...bet this really happens. Laughter is the best medicine of all. :) Well done.
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