M'Buti Sormiento writes in her journal while the family is asleep. She is enjoying the peace and quiet of the early morning.
November 8, 2007, 4:24 a.m., C.S.T., Nashville, TN~
Dear Journal~
Sopai! Or Jambo! Habari gani? M'zuri sana, asante sana!
M'Buti here. M'Buti Sormiento. You remember me. The lady with all those kids. LOL
The kids are all asleep; husband is, too. I'm taking advantage of the early-morning quiet, enjoying it emmensely. Taking advantage of the still-dark, star-studded skies, enjoying glancing up at the Heavens, somehow feel closer to God doing this.
Have the praise music on, softly, just got through praying/reading God's Word, wondering what He has to say to me today. He's told my spirit that I am a good and faithful servent, that He is most pleased with me, which makes ME pleased.
There's nothing more satisfying than to know your Heavanly Father is pleased with you.
I have been trying my best to be a good little Christian, to be a good little wife, mother, caretaker/caretakee. Am following my doctor's orders to the letter, knowing what my limitations are, trying to maintain a positive attitude when things get sticky (hard to do, I know, but I still try).
I stop whenever I get winded, or if my b/p plummets; then have to lie down, rest until it goes back up to more normal levels. Very annoying, that. I hate having to get dizzy/nauseated like this; it's a pain! I also hate the feeling of not being able to catch my breath; very terrifying!
Still walking on these darned crutches; yet it's my mode of transportation; so be it. Can't do anything really to change that.
Use my wheelchair on longer trips, like when we go to the store or to the park, or when we go to the zoo or amusement park. Too much walking for me to handle; it's easier this way for me.
Kids doing well in school, the littler ones at home keeping this little Mamma busy! Sheesh, I never knew kids were so much work!
Sometimes I secretly wish I never had kids; yet Roberto wanted a family; and now does he have a FAMILY! Ten kids! I'd say he's one proud daddy! He loves them all so much; I do, too; they're the world to us!
It's even more interesting when we go out: try keeping watch over ten kids at once. A near-impossibility at times, especially with the quadruplets, triplets and twins. I think all nine kids have the energy levels of a hundred kids; they keep us hopping!
Jubaki, the oldest son, isn't so bad: he's at that age where he can take care of himself, help with me, his brothers and sister. He is a ver y self reliant child. I am very proud of him; he's grown so much.
The one twin (Eshe', the only daughter) isn't so bad either; she's just extremely shy. It takes her a while to warm up to people she doesn't know or see regularly.
Her only big problem is being very shy.
As an example of what the other kids do, just the other day Keloki scared the liver out of me: he tried to electrocute himself; he stuck a bobby-pin into a light socket.
He got a nasty shock. He wasn't injured, thank goodness, but he did get a good scare (plus his hair looked funny all stuck out in twenty different directions).
Now he knows to stay away from the light sockets.
I had to punish Kibarake: just the other day I heard him call his brother Jubaki a nasty racial slur (the N- word). I know it's nasty; I won't allow my children (or my husband) use it in my house; they know not to do this.
I, for one, am one of them, if you know what I mean; when people call me that or I hear that terrible word, my heart is stabbed, every time.
Why do people have to be so mean, so cruel, so insensitive towards those with color? We are just like them; we only have more color to our skins; it doesn't come off! We don't carry any horrible, nasty diseases (or at least I'm hoping we don't); we put our pants on the same way they do!
We have dreams, too; we know what we wnt out of life (equality, respect); yet after all these years, why aren't people learning this??
I have been reading about a man named Martin Luther King, a black gentleman who spoke out against hatred/violence; he lived what he spoke, and he was a role model to many of color (and otherwise). Yet a bad man decided to kill him during one of his speeches (I think it was the "I Have a Dream" speech); it stunned the world; it still does years later.
He didn't do anything to deserve getting shot like he did; it was a huge loss for the black community, for the United States of America, the world.
When I read of people getting hurt or stabbed, I cry. I don't like how ugly our world has become; I don't like the fact that we can't pray without fear of offending someone, or the fact that Hallowe'en is more important than Christmas. We can't even say "Merry C- - - - -mas" without making someone upset; right now it's "Happy Holidays".
Why? We're not celebrating the birth of a mythical figure named Santa Claus: the reason we celebrate a holiday like C- - - - -mas is the Birth of our Lord and Saviour, J- - - - C- - - - -! He's the Reason for the Season, NOT Santa Claus!
It's really sad. People here in America no longer care for each other: they've become apathetic, callous, cruel, cold, bitter, nasty.
They think nothing of hating/hurting their fellow man, blaming our country's troubles on the President, protesting this nasty war with Iraq (now Iran may get into the act), or doing bad things just to make a buck or get ahead in life--and nobody seems willing to stand up, do something about it. It really aggrieves me.
It's enough to make me want to go back to Kenya--forever.
Right now I'm ashamed to be called an American citizen; America has become a terrible place.
Well, I've just managed to depress myself again, so I will go for now. I'm crying too danged hard for one thing; can't hardly see for all the teardrops raining from my eyes. I will write in here again when feasible. Take care, and until next time, Kwaheri!
There were only seven kids in my family but still, I can relate somewhat I think. For someone to sometimes wish to go back to Kenya says a great deal about us in America. Thank you, Karen. Amour et paix, ton ami de la C-B, Canada,
The spiritual way M'Buti starts her day is refreshing and inspiring. Starting the day with prayers seems like a very postive thing to do. Her interpretation of the American people is sad because no matter how terrible many Americans are, there are always good, decent people in our country--more good ones than bad ones. Yet, she is right--it is a terrible shame how terrible some people can be. A very thoughtful write, Karen. Well done.
Well Karen I agree with all the others it is a shame that people today get so busy and wrapped up in their own lives that they are too willing to push others aside. A great write I hope lots read and heed it, Thank you for sharing.
I know the feeling, it is like proud walking tall and then stumbling on the root of a tall lie and fall on your face by a pool of mud made of disgrace.
Georg
Suspenseful and close to home, Rain of Deception 2 will leave you in Tears. Much like Part 1, this will shocking sequel will keep you on the edge of your fingertips.
