It's me again...Katie G. Reporter and my camera crew, you say money doesn't
grow on trees? Well, I think not! There
is something "sticky" going on in the check out line at the Dollar Tree. Read on and find out...
Cameras rolling in three...two...one...
Katie G. Reporter, here today at the Dollar Tree, a cool
dollar store where everything is $1.00! That's right! No fooling!
Whoever thought this one up must be rolling in the dollars!
The Dollar Tree is stocked full of some of the stuff you
would normally buy at the grocery store, but it is only
a dollar! Of course, the name brands are not here but
if you are in a hurry, its all here.
The checkout line is long, so let's take our cameras
along inside and talk to a few of the customers!
I see a lady here with a cart overflowing with items (or
should I say "junk", just kidding) lets take our cameras
and see why she likes this store so much....
"So, what brings you to Dollar Tree today?"
"Well, I've been coming here since day one and I save
alot of money coming here. The only thing that I don't
like about this place is that it's always a long, long line
and only one cashier. And even she is slow as molasses...
I swear she is counting on her toes. Where do they
get these cashiers from?", the lady rolls her eyes in
exasperation.
"Good point!", Let's take our cameras up
to the front cashier and find out what's holding up the line!"
Up at the front registers....roll them cameras....
Katie G, here, at the Dollar Tree, trying to find out
what's up here at the slow line, "Can't you hurry it up a
bit, these people don't have all day!"
"Get them cameras out of here!", the cashier shouts
at me. The cameras focus on the open cash register
where she just placed a twenty dollar bill ($20.00) with
the one dollar bills should be and quickly closed the till
without giving the customer a receipt.
"Hey!! Wait a minute! That customer just gave you a twenty
for one item. You didn't give them any change and each
item is one dollar, not twenty dollars. Open up the till
and give the customer their change now or the cops
will be here in five minutes to arrest you...!! I saw what you
did and you are fooling noone, except maybe the customer
who wasn't paying attention!
Cameras rolling on customer who is clearly daydreaming
and not paying attention....
"Wake up mister!! Don't you see this cashier is ripping you
off? Pay attention!! It must be easy to take money from
you! Didn't you notice that you gave the cashier a twenty
and she slammed her till shut and gave you zero change? It
doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out!"
The light bulb goes on in the man's brain...
He pounds his fist on the counter....
"I want my money back....NOW! Where is the store
manager! I want to speak to him now!"
"She can't help you. All you need to be a manager here
at Dollar Tree is a pulse and ten fingers. Besides she doesn't
speak English, and Immigration isn't suppose to know she is here..."
"Oh really? Immigration huh? We will see about that. Call
her up here now. These lines are ridiculous! What is she
doing out back?"
"Counting dollars...what else?. . She is lazier than
I am. Your going to have to drag her out. She don't
like customer service. She just likes counting money.
The sticky fingered cashier gets on the intercom...
"Store Manager To Front Checkout Immediately! This
means you or its Immigration...oops..."
The Store manager rushes out of the back room with
a wad of cash in her hand..."What's the meaning
of this? You know I don't like customers! What's the
problem?"
"The lines are too long, the cashier is ripping people
off and you have no clue how to run this store! That is
the problem! Get a clue will ya?" The store can't
run itself! You have to be up front here and help! Take
care of the customers."
"Oh customers, who cares..I have a manicure appointment
in a half hour...stop bothering me with this petty stuff..", the
store manager shows off her perfect fingernails.
"Don't you care about customer service as a store
manager? How did they ever give you this job? Your
attitude sucks and your outfit does not match! Who hired
you? And who said you can't speak English. You speak
it well enough to get by! What a bunch of bs this is!"
"What does that matter? I am here and I stay. If you don't
like the service, too bad. Take it or leave it."
".You won't be counting dollars for long!", Katie G. Reporter
shouts at the store manager...Keep them cameras rolling...
Cameras zoom in on the store manager as she runs to the
back, turns around and makes an obscene gesture to
the camera...
"Did you catch that?"
"Okay, I guess it's up to the cashier to do the right thing
here. The store manager is clearly an idiot..."
Keep those cameras rolling.....this is good stuff
"You heard the man, and you know the customer
is always....RIGHT!!", I remind the sticky fingered cashier...
"Okay, okay, here's your crummy twenty...don't you know
why I do this? They don't pay me enough money to
get by. I know its wrong but what choice do I have? I have
bills to pay! .She covers her eyes from the cameras
"Now don't cry...what you did isn't right...if they don't
pay you enough...QUIT! ...You don't have to resort
to stealing from the customers, now do you?"
"Do you want to be a sticky-fingered cashier all your life?
"No...okay, okay, here's your twenty dollars...all this
fuss over a lousy twenty...
She throws it at the customer and runs out of the store
in tears...shouting..."I quit! I quit! No more of these
long lines for me..."
The checkout line is getting restless and I think
I have a mutiny on my hands...a hundred eyes
staring daggers into me as there is no cashier and I quickly
take her place and open up the till...scanning the items...
each one dollar...and counting back the change
correctly.....
"Wow, Katie G. Reporter, you are the fastest
cashier ever! How did you get this line to move so fast..."
Easy...it's all one dollar, scan, scan, scan...count the change,
put it in a bag, your out the door...
ring ring ring...
Come back again, and bring your dollars...
This is Katie G. Reporting....
and come on back to the Dollar
Tree where dollars don't grow
on trees and time is something
you waste waiting...
Guess who the one hundreth customer of the day is?
...and you have written a wonderful...humorous...and human story...of many's favorite store. A quick twenty...to make a fast buck...finds one cashier out the door...along with an illegal manager...who's counting on her nails...and not on her soon to be arrest. A great ending puts the spotlight on Katie G.
truly enjoyable Katie...now I gotta' go spend a buck...
John
Homer's Ill Iliad & Odd Sea Odyssey (420 pages) is an adult satire/parody rewrite of the classic stories of the 10 year Trojan War and of the 10 year adventure of Odysseus trying to return home to his native Ithaca.
