IMPORTANT POLITICAL ANNOUNCEMENT
From the campaign office of: King Ronald
My Fellow Americans...I'm throwing my hat into the political ring for 2008. I'm running as King Ronald, a kind loving king who has the best interests of his people at heart and one who loves his country. King Ronald will be a write-in candidate.
Now, I don’t want anyone thinking I’m an angel so I’ll put the dirt right up front here to let the press chew on for a while. Yes, I’ve smoked the “Devil Weed” and I definitely inhaled. I tried a few other things, too. I have been somewhat of a womanizer in my lifetime and I’ve been married three or four times…could be more. One loses count after a while. I smoke cigarettes at a rate of two packs a day and I drink Crown Royal Cask #16. I also drink lots of fine wines. I was in trouble with the law once many years ago. I had to serve 180 days. My son tells me I’m a “parsimonious prick with ears” which should actually please you because there will be money in the coffers to pay for needed social policies here in the United States.
If I get elected King in 2008, Mexico will have plenty of domestic help back there because I plan to send 22 million of those chili-eatin', goat-herdin', cooper-skinned, theivin’, murderin’, freeloaders back South of the Border.
Southern Border Plan
I don’t understand what the big deal is with our border with Mexico. It’s simple to fix so I’ll get right to it here.
First, we get a huge fleet of D-12 Cats and a bunch of dredges. While that’s being done we round up all the illegal Mexicans and their kids and send them to Maricopa County to be interred under the wonderful Sheriff Joe (Wait till they meet Joe!), where they will live in tents and be dressed in pink outfits and used as the labor force to do all the manual labor. Remember…no work, no eat. Once that is accomplished we will begin. This project should get done rapidly.
The Rio Grande will be widened 50 yards to a depth of 2 feet. The river itself will be dredged to a depth of 20 feet. A dam will be built on the Eastern end to maintain the depth at all times. All the sand and tailings will be shipped to New Orleans where those highly motivated citizens may start building their dikes high enough to keep the Mississippi River where THEY think it should be. Good luck with that! At least they won’t have any time to bitch about all we’re NOT giving them because if they don’t do the work they better be practicing how to tread water for the next Katrina.
The 50 yard by 2 feet deep area on OUR side of the border will become a beautiful greenbelt with no ugly walls or fences. It will be all natural planted with the very prolific Water Hyacinth and stocked with 50,000 horny and hungry Gators and thousands of little hungry Piranha fishies. I think it’s a wonder that God created two water creatures whose total body length is one third all teeth and they can co-exist.
The incentive for the workers to get this done will be great as they will be able to see THEIR homeland just a few yards away as they work building the barrier to keep them out of OUR yard.
In the end what we will have is; no more press 1 for English; no more money spent on a segment of society who has no intention of being a part of the USA; no more flying OUR flag upside down in THEIR old neighborhoods; no more demands for us to sing the Star Spangled Banner in Spanish. North of the Rio Grande is OURS…South of the Rio Grande is THEIRS and the best part of all this is the only Spanish we need to know is, “Adios, Amigos!” as they cross to their side of the river while we sing, “Ridin’ down the river boys. Leave ‘ol memories way behind…”, led by our very own Eric Clapton and J.J. Cale. What a concert that will be!
That's just part of my Grand Plan for world peace. The remaining 56 million towel heads and like thinking Europeans are going back to where they came from before Judgment Day so they'll have a good seat and will be able to tell their future generations what the Power of Peace is really all about. If these people do not voluntarily go back to where they came from they will be hunted down and sent to North Dakota which will be used as a holding pen until we get around to giving them a ride home. It won’t be pleasant because the Sioux Indians will be their gatekeepers. Think Custer and the Little Bighorn. Got the idea? Besides, they really do understand what poor border security is all about and it’s still fresh in their minds.
The biggest part of the plan involves the Muslim situation because they are out to kill each and every one of us. When I'm elected King, my reign will only last 12 months and then I hand power back to the people. I will only be an interim measure. However, because I believe WAR is supposed to be fought to win...at all costs, that's what I'm going to do! With that in mind, one hour after I'm sworn in as King Ronald, I will push every button we have and send everything that carries armament to level the “peaceful” Islamic Muslim World (that’s an oxymoron) and if other countries don't like it then they can suffer the wrath of their own irrational thinking and have a wonderful life living under Sharia Law. If anyone here doesn’t like it, we the people will provide them a one way ticket to France.
The carpet bombing should only take 60 days to accomplish with my 24/7 eradication process. There will be no troops on the ground until there is unconditional surrender or there is nothing left moving. The mess that's left they have to clean up themselves with their own money, after they reimburse us for all the foreign and humanitarian aid we provided for them for the last sixty years. If some Saudi prince can afford a $4.8 million dollar diamond studed Mercedes, they can repay their debt to our grat country and it’s citizens. However, if the job is done properly there won't be anyone left to clean anything up and the "spoils" will belong to the real Free World to share equally and equitably.
We keep pussy-footing around and we're losing ground, not to mention our self-respect as a nation. The solution is simple. To kill the colony you have to first kill the Queen. If they can't breed they'll be totally extinct in less than two generations. Keep in mind how well Roundup Ground Sterilizer works on fence lines? It’s the same principal. I know I won't blink on this and my half Sicilian conscience will be clear.
How long do we have as a free nation, under God, with liberty and justice for all? Well, here’s some interesting, relevant facts concerning LIFE as we've known it:
About the time our original thirteen states adopted their new constitution in 1787, Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh, had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years earlier: "A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government."
"A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury."
"From that moment on, the majority always vote for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship."
"The average age of the world's greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years."
"During those 200 years, those nations always progressed through the following sequence:
1. from bondage to spiritual faith;
2. from spiritual faith to great courage;
3. from courage to liberty;
4. from liberty to abundance;
5. from abundance to complacency;
6. from complacency to apathy;
7. from apathy to dependence;
8. From dependence back into bondage"
Professor Joseph Olson of Hamline University School of Law, St. Paul , Minnesota, points out some interesting facts concerning the 2000 Presidential election:
Number of States won by: Gore: 19; Bush: 29
Square miles of land won by: Gore: 580,000; Bush: 2,427,000
Population of counties won by: Gore: 127 million; Bush: 143 million
Murder rate per 100,000 residents in counties won by: Gore: 13.2; Bush: 2.1
Professor Olson adds: "In aggregate, the map of the territory Bush won was mostly the land owned by the taxpaying citizens of this great country. Gore's territory mostly encompassed those citizens living in government-owned tenements and living off various forms of government welfare..."
Professor Olson believes the United States is now somewhere between the "complacency and apathy" (#6) phase of Professor Tyler's definition of democracy, with some forty percent of the nation's population already having reached the "governmental dependency" (#7) phase.
If Congress grants amnesty and citizenship to twenty two million criminal invaders called “illegals” and they vote, then we can say goodbye to the USA in fewer than five years.
Kind of scary isn’t it?
Here's the best part of my campaign promises. I will do all of this free of charge, no benefits, no perks, nada, zilch, nothing! However, those 535 assholes we hired in Congress are out of jobs and that saves TRILLIONS in just one year...and they aren't getting any of their cushy benefits to take with them. That's right! No lifetime pensions at the same pay as when they were sitting on their asses doing nothing while we paid them to look after our best interests. They get no medical coverage paid by the taxpayers. What they do get is exactly what we have. Problems solved instantly. All the vermin of the world will no longer be. The illegals will be back where they belong in their own countries.
There will be no more outsourcing of American jobs. Everything comes back home. It will be up to the educators of this great land to teach and train people here to do the jobs we’ve been sending away. To those who don’t want to work, keep in mind; no work no money. There will be no need for welfare, food assistance, housing vouchers, or handouts of any kind. If you want something, you work. It’s that simple. And remember, we are all created equal and will be treated as such. That may be a hard pill to swallow for some of the welfare freeloaders. If it is, vote for Hillary or Barack or move to France.
The best thing is there will be a surplus in our tax coffers. Prisons won’t be overflowing and there won’t be a need to ever build more. Each natural born inmate will be able to have a two room cell once the “illegals” are gone. Gas prices will be back down to around $1.50 per gallon because the demand will be 33% less and we will have seized the Middle Eastern oil by “eminent domain”. Because the newly elected Patriots will have the same Constitution only it will be the "original" version with no amendments or addendums, the IRS will be abolished. The IRS codes were never made law anyway! Every working age person will be subject to a 12% mandatory income tax and every business pays 15% off the top of their incomes. If any company is caught outsourcing jobs to another country their flat rate tax will become 40% annually and they will be fined an amount equal to 30% the net worth of their business immediately. Get caught hiring an illegal and you lose your business immediately. This will be overseen by the Treasury Department and there will be no appeal process.
This great nation was founded on the principles of God. Upon my inauguration I will immediately re-invoke the use of the word, God, everywhere…Christmas, prayer in public, in schools or anywhere, the Pledge of Allegiance and the principles of the Ten Commandments…all we be free to use and celebrate. For the Liberals and atheists…if you don’t like our ways go live somewhere else.
We broke something that really wasn't broken when we started taking rights away with ridiculous “pork” amendments to that great document, the United States Constitution. Too much “tax and spend” Liberalism has buried us. Being Liberal is fine as long as it truly benefits all the hard working citizens of the United States of America.
If you truly wish change, believe in Hope, and are not afraid of losing what little you have and are willing to fight for your rights, then vote early and often in November. Above all remember....We the People have the power, the right and the responsibility to stand up and fight for what We believe!
Thank you!
King Ronald...The People's King
