Weds., May 28, 2008, Anchorage, Alaska~

Dear Journal~

Jenna Aurora writing.  Just woke up not even fifteen minutes ago (it's only 5 in the morning here), dark outside, lights playing and dancing across the northern sky.  The cat and dog are sleeping; nobody but me (and the northern lights) are up.

I enjoy these early mornings, before the family is up.  So peaceful, so quiet, with only the silence to keep me company.  Wish I could say I could hear the clock ticking or the water dripping from the faucet, but I'm deaf, so I can't.  LOL  Still, the silence is nice, even if I can't hear!

Maybe being deaf is a blessing in disquise.  Maybe it's good I can't hear all the confusion and cacaphony of the world; don't know if I could handle so much noise all at once!

The other day, I had to take Kenai to the emergency room.  He had a seizure; nothing serious, but it scared the living hell out of me.  One minute he was lying peacefully in my arms; the next, he was jerking like a dog that'd been hit by a car.  I had Michael drop us off at the ER, to see what was going on. 

Turns out it was nothing more than a febrile seizure, brought on by a high fever.  He had a fever of 102 degrees; after doctors bathed him with cool water and gave him some medication via IV, he was okay.  He was kept overnight for observation; nothing serious.  He's now back home, acting like himself again.

Didn't know he was sick:  he was a little warm, but I didn't think too much about it until he started seizing in my arms.  Talk about terrifying!!

Mattaq, meanwhile, is as healthy as a horse.  Nothing more than a bobby pin being inserted into his eardrum (he had to have emergency surgery; came through it just fine), or a cold.  Hard to believe he was born premature two years ago:  he's as strong as an ox, and quite chubby for his age and height.  He's adorable!

Mattaq loves his little brother; he's always helping us out in taking care of him.  We are very proud of him; he is a good little boy!

I am so blessed to have two healthy little boys.  I don't know what I would do if either were to have been born with disabilities, especially since I'm disabled myself.  I don't know if I could handle it.

All too often, I hear of parents raising children with heartbreaking disabilities, and I personally don't know how they can do it.  Like Louie Sandusky and her crew, as an example, or say, Kendra Williams-Kent and her familly.  I have a problem being around kids who can't do anything for themselves; this is when I'm glad it's them and not me.  I know that sounds mean, but I can't help how I feel sometimes.

I am reading a book on this very subject:  a mother wrote a book about her little boy, Jacob, who was born with a severe disability that left him helpless, unable to do anything for himself, and the stress that goes along with it, and it's really powerful reading!  It's good, but it's sad; I can't understand how God can allow a child to be born this way! 

I know I couldn't handle it!!  Especially with my own physical problems!

Well, the light above the boys' room is flashing; means someone must have awakened.  I will have to see if they are okay; will have to go now.  I will write in here again soon; I know it's been a while.  I'm sorry about that, but with my kids, I just don't have the time to write.  They keep me hopping!  Until later, this is Jenna signing off; take care and God bless!

~Love, your Alaskan friend, Jenna Aurora. :)