One of the best things about having a granddaughter who is still young enough to feel big when she stands on a chair to wash dishes is that while she feels big, she also talks big. Hannah Montana and I had it first give way to more important matters, whether she knows that or not, making the extra work of mopping up the river and secretly arranging the dishes so I’ll know which to pull back out later for a second wash worth the effort.

During a recent dishwashing conversation, the dramatic chair-stander complained. “We use the dishwasher at our house so I can’t have dishes for my chore. I just have baby chores.” She reeled off her list of childish duties, shaking her head like her little heart might break.

I tried, unsuccessfully, to convince her that taking on responsibility is grown-up, and I was proud of her, even if she thought her chores were insignificant. In a tone that assured me that my opinion could not have been more unwelcome, she named the better chores assigned to her brother and sister. I knew it was not a good time to bring up pesky little facts, like they are older, and she is an accident waiting to happen so it’s best that her chores don’t involve breakables or taking more than three steps. Nor did I mention that I would bet my last dollar that she insisted she needed help with her jobs when it was time to do them.

Thinking I might encourage her to prove her worth by helping out with unassigned tasks, I started down my job list.

“Who cleans the bathroom?” I asked.

“Mommy and Daddy.”

“How about dusting?”

“Mommy and Daddy.”

“Laundry?”

“Mommy and Daddy.”

“Cooks? Mows?”

“Mommy and Daddy.”

This continued for some time before she changed her answer. “Daddy irons because he wears all of the wrinkly clothes and he irons better than Mommy.”

Her daddy also braids hair and does pedicures. He attends their ballgames and practices; watches their karate and gymnastics classes; plays video, board, and yard games with them; drives them to visit friends, and helps with homework. Long after she stopped talking, I kept remembering.

I loved her daddy years before that day, and have always thought he was a great dad, but this took my appreciation for him over the top. After forgiving myself for not consciously understanding what this means to his family before, I realized nothing could please me more than knowing that my grandchildren live in an equal world without stereotypical gender roles, and that my daughter has a role other than housekeeper, cook, and caretaker in their home.

Once again, it is a gift-giving occasion and I have nothing to give that compares to what I have received. Happy Father’s Day, Daughter’s Husband, and thank you.