After my life altering experience with Breast Cancer...after all the chemo treatments and my hair finally began to grow back...after the radiation that burned and broke down my flesh so badly I couldn't wear a top for weeks. I was faced with a new dilemma... RELATIONSHIPS!!!
How was I going to tell a new man who was feeling me, that I only had one breast???
When I looked in the mirror at my reflection where there used to be two very large, dark, succulent nipples; the right side of my chest now held a new tattoo...an ugly scar where my surgeons' scalpel had sliced off everything that made me feel a woman...
The first one was the hardest. He couldn't understand my reluctance to let go...feel free...and revel in intimacy. It wasn't his fault, he simply didn't know why I kept my bra on, why I didn't want to be touched there... I was too ashamed to reveal the ugly truth.
After I finally broke it down, he suprised me. Gently pulling me from my reluctance as he undressed me. I tried to cover myself, push him away, but he saw me, I mean REALLY saw me. Tenderly and lovingly he kissed my new tattoo. I watched his face for any sign of disgust in my new unwanted tattoo. But I only saw the passion and fire in his eyes. He kissed my non-existent breast as if his lips were wrapped around a perfect pair of 36 C's...
I learned something about myself that day. I was a beautiful woman. I was still as sexy and desirable as I was before I had my perfect globe of flesh amputated.
It took me three years to finally go through with reconstructive surgery. Not because I need it to complete me, but because I got tired of the nuisance of balancing out my body with pads or padded bras, so my clothing would fit right.
Today, I am a better me because of my experience with breast cancer. Thank God, I am 6 years cancer free!!! Through my experience with cancer, I gained a better knowledge about myself. No matter what you have amputated on the outside, you're still the same person you were before, on the inside.
Today the scars are barely visible and if I didn't tell a man about my ordeal, he wouldn't know...
copyright (c) 2007 Glenda A. Wallace
