Melody’s Story...

Pulling up into the office parking lot at my usual time, I unlocked the side door and proceeded to open all the blinds.  The early morning sun was just starting to peek through the windows and it was going to be another fine summer day.  My coffee was a tad on the cool side, so I popped it into the microwave for a quick re-heat.  With no early morning appointments on my agenda, I settled in at my computer to check mail and return phone calls.

It was only 9:30am when a woman came bouncing through the front door and quickly extended her hand, introducing herself at the same time.  “Hello there, my name is Melody Palmer.  It is a pleasure to meet you.”  I was taken aback by this rather small woman who exuded an over-abundance of energy and confidence. We shook hands; her grip much tighter than I would have expected.  Melody, a cancer survivor possessed all the spunk of a feisty, light-weight prize fighter meeting her first opponent.   

She started off by saying, “I was walking by the office last night and saw the sign.  I would be interested in learning more about what you have to offer.”  I invited Melody into the interview office, and only after a short time, she had given me a condensed synopsis of her life since returning home from spending most of her life in the west.  She asked for a drink of water and I reached into the fridge to retrieve a bottle of water for her before settling back into our interview.  We chatted continuously and it struck me that we seemed more like two long lost school chums catching up on each other’s lives.  We were both about the same age, and had quite a few things in common.  She was a very charismatic lady, full of life and eager to share the knowledge she had learned over the years.  Melody was no taller than five feet, with short, brown hair and lovely big brown eyes.  Looking across the table at her, I soon realized that Melody had been through some tough times in her life, not unlike other woman of our age group.  She was separated after many years of marriage, had battled breast cancer, and since arriving home a couple of months ago, lost one of her dogs to illness.  She professed to be an animal lover and avid activist working with horses, but the loss of her faithful companion had left her devastated.

She abruptly changed the subject and said to me, “I am a cancer survivor, and I look at life differently now.”  The smile on her face showed just how proud she was of her tough battle with breast cancer.  We connected on many levels during our talk, and I was immediately taken to Melody for her strength of conviction.  I told her about one of our clients with a rare neurological disease.  His wife was the full-time caregiver and needed support and relief care, and it could possibly be just what she was looking for.  Melody was thrilled and said, “I am ready to take on new challenges and this case sounds great.”

My next appointment had arrived for her interview, and I told Melody that I would follow up on the references and get back to her about the position.   As she headed for the front door, she turned, reaching to shake my hand again, this time placing her other hand on top of mine.  She held it tightly as she looked up at me.  Her skin was warm to the touch and at that very moment there was an immediate sense of bonding between us.  Her eyes were firmly fixed on mine and in a soft, yet strong voice she said, “Thank you for giving me such a warm reception and making me feel so appreciated.”  She obviously loved life.

After Melody left, I thought about what she had said to me, and I realized that this was quite an unusual and unconventional interview.  She left me with a good feeling; somewhat spiritual, but difficult to describe or put into words.  I sat back at my desk a bit perplexed about our interview, and in the back of my mind things just seemed a bit, ‘too good to be true ’.

Melody had certainly made her mark, but I was left with some uncertainties. 

The next day, I worked on Melody’s file and finished up her references. I was eager to bring her on staff and have her meet our client.  Faith Williams was a charming woman with a great sense of humor.  She loved to laugh and make light of things, but taking care of her husband Brian, around-the-clock was taking its’ toll.  She had a caregiver for over two years, but was losing her to another job.  Faith needed the support and I believed Melody could be just that person.  I set up a meeting and Melody stopped by the office with her dog Willey in tow.  She was here to pick up information on Brian’s disease but before leaving she said to me, “Do you think that they would let me bring my dog to work?”  I thought the request was strange, to say the least, but I told her to meet with Faith and maybe if things work out, that could be discussed.    

Brian’s condition is very similar to ALS or Lou Gerhig's disease, a neurological disorder that affects the motor skills, then the brain, before complete debilitation sets in.  Sadly in most cases, the ultimate outcome is death.  Brian could no longer communicate, but Melody had studied sign language.  I thought they would connect immediately.

Melody’s Meeting…

Melody called me as soon as she arrived home from her meeting with Faith and Brian.  She left a message on my voice mail and told me that the visit was wonderful.  She said that they had agreed on her starting work after the weekend.  I decided that I would call Melody in the morning to set up a meeting for her employment orientation with our Agency.

I was still in a deep sleep when the sound of the pager on my bedside table abruptly woke me. 

“Beep…beep…beep.”  That annoying sound was my cue to pull myself out from the comfort of my covers.  I called and checked the message and it was Melody’s voice on the other end.  “Could you please return my call as soon as you arrive at the office?”  I wasn’t sure what she wanted this early, but I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach, that this call was not what I was hoping for.  I dressed for the office, made my coffee and headed out the door for 9:00am.

Melody’s Decision…

Just as soon as I arrived, Melody walked in the front door.  I could see by the look on her face that she had some news.  She sat across the desk from me, and she didn’t quite look the same as the woman I met the other day.  I looked at Melody and asked her, “Is there something wrong?”  She stared directly at me, her eyes not as bright as I remembered them.  “I cannot take the job with the Williams,” she quickly blurted out.  It is just too difficult for me to work with someone who is dying, and I don’t think I can handle it.  After having cancer myself, I know the stress will be more than I could take.”  I looked at Melody with a sense of compassion for how she was feeling, and I immediately said to her, “I understand completely.  Not everyone is cut out to work with a palliative care client and watching someone slowly succumb to death, is not easy by any means.”  My words seemed to lift Melody’s spirits.  I am sure she had a sleepless night worrying about telling me of her change of mind.  She smiled; her face immediately revealing a look of relief.  Melody sat motionless in her chair before adding, “Thank you so much for understanding.”  We talked about the Williams for a while before she left the office.  Melody piped up and said, “I am still interested in another client who would be more suitable for me.”  I left it at that and told her I would call if I found a good match.

After our meeting, I was somewhat unsure as to whether I would find a client who I felt Melody could handle.  There were some uncertainties with her behavior and I was a bit concerned with her mental well-being. I was genuinely having second thoughts about Melody.  I enjoyed her personality and her outlook on life as she portrayed it, but I was still skeptical about finding another client for her.    

I arrived at the office the next day and noticed a small envelop placed in the front door.  The card from Melody read:

“Thank you for everything that you have done for me, and I really do appreciate all of your time and effort.  Should you find another client that I would be more suited with, please let me know. 

I hope you have a wonderful summer.”

Melody

Melody’s Choice…

The morning paper was delivered on time, and I took a minute to check out the news around the world.  Of course due to the nature of my business, I quickly grabbed the section with the obituaries. 

I turned the page and was stunned at the name on the top of the page. 

Melody Palmer: 52 years of age (deceased)

 I was in complete shock and utter disbelief.  How could this be?  She must have succumb to her cancer is all that I could imagine.  I thought back to our conversations.  Melody told me that she was cancer free; a survivor of that dreaded disease.  She was looking for new challenges in life.  I couldn’t quite comprehend what had happened, but I had to find out.  Melody was so vibrant and full of life and was looking to work.  She was eager to fulfill her dreams and she certainly portrayed that outlook in our meetings. 

I had to learn the truth.

I called Melody’s good friend Janice.  I gave her my condolensences, and we chatted for a bit.  She assured me that she tried to help Melody after she came home from out west.  Janice added, “Melody said to me one day, I have come home to die” and Janice just laughed and said, “yeah, we will all die soon enough.”  She didn’t take her seriously by any means.

She continued to tell me about what she saw when she drove up to Melody’s apartment that day.  She said, “I turned the corner onto her street and saw all the police cars out in front of the building.  I knew deep down inside, right at that moment, they were there for Melody.”  Janice added, “She had left everyone letters and specifically asked me to take care of her dog and speak at her funeral.  Melody’s escape from life was well orchestrated and planned from beginning to end.”

It had only been two weeks to the day since I first met the bubbly, charismatic woman who came bouncing through the front door of my office.  Vibrant, outgoing, and full of life, is how I remember Melody.  I was only privy to a small part of this wonderful, caring person with an inner spirit to match.  I thought back to her meeting with the William's, wondering if she believed it easier to take her own life, than to watch someone slowly die from a debilitating disease.  I realized that we would never know the answer. 

In the end, the mask of a despondent woman had been lifted to reveal the truth.  Some people have the ability to hide their inner most feelings, leaving behind friends and family who are baffled at how they missed the signs.  I still wonder why Melody entered my life for such a short period of time, but I do know that her unhappiness and desperation with life, ultimately led her to make this final decision.

With only questions...and few answers, Melody's choice was…death over life.