Sunday, August 24, 2008, Anchorage, Alaska, 2:47 a.m.~
Dear Journal~
Mattaq Eegeesiak here. Can't sleep, so I decided to write.
Unbelievably, my sister, Sikik, continues to hang on. She's still alive: unconscious, yes, but still alive. Her heart rate, other vital signs continue to remain strong, relatively stable.
If she appears to be in any pain, I have no idea: her face is relaxed, it's hard to tell.
It's so difficult seeing her like this: hooked up to a whole forest of tubes and lines, looking more dead than alive, not knowing if she will wake up, not knowing the day or hour when she will go into the spirit world, dance among the Northern Lights.
If I could trade places with my sister, believe me, I would, in an instant. I hate seeing her suffering so much! This is probably one of the worst experiences I can ever face!
Nurses come in and out of her room, take tender care of her as she lies there. It's nice to see that they are concerned for her welfare; it's most comforting to me. Doctors come in several times a day, examine her, speak to her, ask her to move her limbs (which she does). They aren't so concerned about brain damage, but they still say she is very, very sick, and it can be anytime now.
While my sister lies in her bed, unaware of what's going on around her, I while away the hours, watching the same old tired programs on television, reading magazines (I swear I've read every magazine here, some twice or even three times!), nibble away on junk food, walk around, try to stretch my limbs, clear my head. I haven't left the hospital in at least five days, afraid that if I do, something will happen to my sister.
I know I have to get clean clothes, take a shower: I must stink like a dying whale by now. I know people can probably smell me as they go by. It's rather embarrassing. I have to go to the hotel where I'm staying, do some laundry; I know I have to do it soon, and the sooner, the better.
Friends and family have been calling, some who live near here have been coming by to offer Sikik their prayers, their well wishes, their support. They ask me if I need anything; I tell them no, but I know they want to help in any way they can, which I greatly appreciate.
Well, it's very early yet, not even three in the morning, so I am going to try to get some needed sleep. I will write in here again, probably in a day or two--sooner if anything changes. Just continue to keep me in your thoughts/prayers!
~Mattaq. :(
