My name is Sam.  Samuel Thomas.  Never mind the last name; I'm involved in foster care; I'd rather people not know until I am permanently placed with a family that I can call my own.

I am in foster care because I am older.  When it comes to adoption, most people wouldn't give me a second glance.  I am older than the age of two, black, and have been shunted from one foster home to another.  It's no wonder I no longer trust people, particularly adults.  It's adults who've let me down far too many times.

Right now I am with a family in Fort Worth, Texas.  The Pearsons.  They have 13 kids:  Brandt, Sapphire, Jordan, Hayleigh, Henry, Ashton, Malik, Miracle, Jamar, Hanh Ly, Linnie, Jebediah, Kierra.  They range in age from two to eighteen/nineteen.  They are very nice, but right now they aren't my family.  I'm on loan to them for the time being until the courts decide what they're going to do with me next.

I've been with the Pearsons for several months now, and they are okay.  I don't mind the older kids so much; it's the little ones (Linnie, Jebby, Kierra) who drive me nuts!  They run around, acting like a bunch of little heathens; it's a wonder my foster parents don't pull their heads off from all the noise!!

When I hear of my friends or other kids being adopted, I get sad.  I wish someone would take me in.  I'm not a bad kid, other than an attitude; hey, I'm a teenager; teens are supposed to spring attitudes!! LOL  I am very smart, I am good with my hands, figuring things out, like to cook, read, play computer games (the more complicated, the more I like 'em!!), and I am very good with children, especially those like my foster sister Miracle who can't walk or talk.  I'm also good with Jebby, who is blind; I act as his eyes.

I sometimes feel the world doesn't give a rip about me because of the reasons I stated at the start of this thing.  If I were younger or white or not a FK, I'd have more of a chance.  This is when I wish the earth would open up, and swallow me up.

I don't know why people won't give kids like me a chance.  I want a family; that's not asking too much!  I've really never experienced a mother's (or father's) love, I don't know what it is like to have real brothers or sisters, and I don't feel close to people 'cause I've been hurt so many times. 

I see babies being placed with "forever families", and I suddenly wish I were two years old again instead of being a teenager.  I guess people don't want me because I'm an old-timer, I don't matter.

Well, I've managed to make myself cry again, so I'll run along.  Seems that's all I ever do any more!

I will write in here again; just keep me in your prayers!  My dearest wish is to be placed with the Pearson bunch; I know I'd be the perfect son for them!  And what's one more child in their eyes?? They are willing to take me in, love me!

~Samuel Thomas, aged 13. :(