I didn't know what to write about. Love - done. Smile - done. Laugh - done. Honest - nah. Not now. Integrity - well have I to write about it? It's such a juiceles topic. Nyet.
Service - nada. No ideas.
So, there is no anything else to do but to write about nothing.<img src="http://www.geekandproud.net/images/nothing.jpg" />
It was before X-mas. I wanted a present. I like presents. To be given to me. Don't like to give them. To expencive. So, as I hadn't any friends and nobody was gouing to make me happy with the present, Idecided to buy it by myself. What wouldn't you do for the person You love!
I remeberd my coworkers said to me today:
-Oh, you are such pain in the ass! Nothing is good for you.
So, if nothing is good for me, let it be nothing!
In the morning I went to Macy's and asked at the door:
-Where can I buy nothing?
-Sorry?
-Nothing. You know, nothing.
-I do not understand you, Sir.
-I want to buy no thi ng.
-Even if you speak slow it doesn't make sense. (what, this sh**head thinks I am slow on my wits?). I would be glad (O YEH!) to help you but you have to explain yourself, sir.
-You know what, where can I see a catalog of all things that you sell?
-On Internet, sir. the site is www dot macys dot com.
-But I am here already. Here? Is any possibility that I'll see it here (Where I have seen such a clots? Ah. I remember, in that retarded debate about racism).
-Ah sir, here. (Yes. Now I remember you too. I am clots? Then what are you? Nothing) If you want to see it here (OK, kill all your day with the service department. I don't care), you should go to the clients service.
-And it would be where? (what, am I carpenter? Every word to take out with plier?)
-Ah sir. I don't know. I just know what's on this floor. And the service is not here. For sure, sir.
-Well, thank you very much. (you really helped! HA!!)
-Oh, it's OK (Oh, what a di**head. Wants to by nothing. I have to tell it to my Hilda. She will like it and maybe will blog about in on AD). Good Day sir. I am glad to be helpful.
(You-helpful. Are you kidding? Take your head out of your, well you know where it is at this moment, He He)
On the 7th floor I stopped for a breath. Iit was about noon already, but the time passed quickly as on each floor I would find a helpful person who wouldn't know anything but that the service is not on this floor. And would add "But, sir, would you like to buy something while looking for nothing? For example, let me show you.."
I looked to my right and suddenly saw in far away a door. Very grey goor. Something told me to check what was writen on it. I strained my eyes, but couldn't see it. So I came close, strained my eyes once more, and still couldn’t see. So I went back to the 6th floor to buy there a magnifying glass. Returned and looked through it on the door: "Clients service. Come in if you don't have anything better to do."
So I came in. There sat two girls and drank tea. They could do it all the day long, as there stood about 20 thermoses in the corner of the room.
-Hello
-Yes! What d'u want, young man!
-Can I intefere with you?
-Why?!
-Well…
-Spill it out! Quickly! Do it, do it!
-Well, I am looking for nothing and they said that maybe you could help me in finding this (take air in.)
-And now repeat it in half speed, so that I could understand!
-Sorry
-Don't sorry. Come on. Spill it!
-I am looking for nothing.
-Why?
-I want to buy it as the present to myself.
-Well, then just pay money!
-Sorry?
-I'll show it to you. So pay the money.
-How much?
-Nothing (and they both giggled)
-Nothing?
-Well, nothing much. Just 10 bucks.
-Oh. It's cheap. Here you are.
-OK. Go with me.
And she took me to the toilet. She entred men's and stopped before the mirror.
-Look. Here it is.
-What?
-Nothing that you so wanted.
-I looked into the mirror and saw the big NOTHING.
Happily I returned home.
