A husband tries to cope with his wife's bi-polar disorder. It has seemed to have gotten much worse, much to his dismay.
I don't know what to do anymore.
Seems that Karen's moods have taken a downward turn: any least little thing that the kids (or I, or even the cat) do or say, she's going off on us again.
It's getting to the point to where it's akin to walking on eggshells.
My name's Lance. Ryan Lance. I've been married to Karen for 15 years now, and we have two beautiful, healthy children: 10-year-old Felicia Michelle and five-year-old Parker Joseph (P.J.). I was working at General Motors until last year; have been laid off since, and now I spend it taking care of my family.
Lately, though, it seems, I've been taking care of Karen. You see, Karen has bi-polar disorder, which means that she's extremely moody; you never know how she is going to react to certain situations.
Some days, she's lucid, happy, seemingly okay; on others, she is extremely temperamental, snappy, grouchy, or extremely sad to the point where all she wants to do is lie in bed, and sleep the day away.
She is on medications for her illness, but lately, she doesn't want to take them: "they make her loopy-headed, dizzy", she claims. When she isn't on her meds, she is almost impossible to live with. She is always snapping, biting our heads off; she's worse than a pirahna (spelling??) at a feeding frenzy; she could very well be the Grinch's twin sister!
They compliment each other very well.
Because of her illness, Karen can't work. She isn't able to function in social situations. Instead, I've been trying to get her on disability; that's not going well. Have gotten a letter back; says that she isn't disabled enough. We are planning to appeal.
Until then, we are having to scrimp, save for every penny, so we can buy groceries, pay bills. Forget about luxuries: everything goes to bills, or if we have any left over, food, our children's needs (clothes, school supplies, etc.). Christmas for us is lookin' mighty slim; it will be lucky if there's any presents under our sorry-excuse-for-a-Christmas tree this year.
Lately, though, Karen has gotten nasty. She curses at us, throws things at us if the house isn't clean enough to her satisfaction, or calls us terrible names. You can imagine what that does to our emotions, our moods. We are constantly on edge, and it's getting to the point to where I am thinking of going elsewhere with the children, or at least, get her mother down here: maybe she can deal with her moods, try to reason with her.
I've tried; believe me, I have! And I don't seem to be making any headway!
Just keep me in your prayers; it is going to be an awfully long holiday season! It's not easy living with the Grinch....
Bipolar is a diffuclt disorder to understand, but I believe Carol is right, if she takes her meds she and doesnt take her moods out on everyone she would do so much better
In Christs Love
Michelle~
Reviewed by 000 000
11/30/2008
Karen needs to take her meds, or move out. Bi-polar does not equal-stupid, mentally challenged or deserving of special treatment. She does understand her actions and if she refuses the medication...she should move on!
The reality of this disease can be seen across the country and most likely the world...
Our son is under the medications set by doctors and I am so grateful for my wife Yolie who has stood by and taken complete control of my son and his medications.
He is such a lovly boy and we want him to enjoy life to the fullest, yet we understand also the importance of his medications...
Karen, this article is an appreciated work of importance...
Fantasy or Fiction or Truth? Either way Lance...this is a powerful view of how the person with the disorder suffers....however; it is those who are close who suffer as well...perhaps even more... NO CHILD should be exposed to this abuse, intended or not!! The med's are prescribed to allow you to function in a way that your particular body will not do naturally....OKAY...they are not so fun...they are difficult and make you feel less than good....but is the price that your loved ones, especially those innocent children worth the price of your not having to deal with the "dizziness"????? Your life is tough...and filled with many hardships...but you are capable and intelligent, and talented just like Karla...and ya'll have each other and families who love you... What a blessing!!!! Take the darn meds Karen..and stop punishing yourself and those who love you!!!!!! Sorry... but sometimes even when we are loved, we still need an honest heart to heart... You are loved....so get better... Do not allow yourself to be miserable and for those children to pay for your stubborness.... not right! Thank you Lance for sharing.. Karen is loved here, and I for one will be praying for all of you... lindalaw
My daughter-in-law is bi-polar and the meds makes her the sweet person we had all known but we know when she has decided to go off them. They have to realize they are two different people and want to be the best they can for their family and that has to be the law. She needs to know that without her meds she is a very abusive person and you and the children don't deserve that and will not accept it, knowing she is your loving wife when she is on her meds. Let her make a decision not a mistake. Thank you for sharing.
This is stark and very real, Karen. We can be flip about our our bouts of "creative moodiness" and loosely call ourselves bi-polar... but this is something else. It rattles my bars as my own father was an alcoholic schizophrenic. But somehow, if it is the mother, it seems worse. Her husband is a saint and a rarity, I'd say. Illness or no illness, not many would want to stick with what seems to be an interminable amount of physical and emotional abuse. And Fee's right perhaps about the effects on the children - both short- and long-term. This may be fiction, but it sure makes all the hairs on the back of the neck stand to attention! I grieve for such hurtful situations. And your last line is truly heartbreaking... it says it all. Love to you on this day of family life, love and Thanksgiving. Sadly, not the experience of many xxx
Tears and sadness in this write on a day we should all be Thankful. Thank you for showing not everyone has things to be thankful for. Love and hugs, Bonnie
Oh, this is sad: and with the holidays coming up, her moods may very well get worse. What to do? Look forward to reading more about Karen, Karen! LOL Well done.
Sadly this disease affects so many people, we as adults try to understand but sadly it is always not so easy for the little ones to understand. What I did pick up form reading this though was the violence that seems to be taking place with or against the children. Illness or no illness, although the mother may have Bi polar, the children are being put at risk and should be removed from that situation immediately if she is not willing to take meds and follow medical advice. Although this may sound cold hearted...it is far better that than to hear some day that she lost control and threw a cast iron pan that struck (even if by accident) one of the children. If the father does not have the heart to take them out of that situation I hope a neighbor, relative or friend calls social services and has them removed.
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