I think I may have committed a terrible mistake, one that may take years to undo.

Ryan Lance here.  As you know, my wife, Karen, suffers from bi-polar disorder.  She is susceptible to wild mood swings:  one minute she's lucid, calm, happy; the next, she may be throwing things, cursing, or having one of her crying jags.  With bi-polar, you never know what her moods will be like from one moment to another.

Well, she had been pretty wild lately:  argumentive, abusive, even to the point of being violent (throwing things).  I couldn't handle it any longer, and so I had her committed to the local mental health center because she refused to take her medication, and it just made her wild mood swings all the worse.

I was worried for my safety (as well as the safety of our children, five-year-old PJ and ten-year-old Felicia), so I had her go into the hospital for treatment, to see if they could do anything for her.

Sounded simple enough; however, now that Karen is not here, I don't know if that was the right thing to do.  Parker and Felicia both miss their mom very much (they keep asking when she is going to come home), and I miss the times we used to have in bed and in the evening, when the children would go to bed.  It seems as though a big, dark cloud has settled over  our lives, and Christmas for us suddenly seems dismal.

I don't know what to do to rectify the situation.  I don't know whether to take Karen out of the hospital before she's done with her treatment, or whether to leave her there so they can complete the treatment.  I'm afraid if she doesn't complete the treatment plan, she will only end up going back to her old ways, and I don't think P.J., Felicia, or myself can handle that all over again. 

Once was more than enough with Karen's unpredictible moods!

I don't know what we are going to do with Christmas.  All we keep thinking about is Karen, and I am at a loss as to what to do.  Just keep me in your prayers; we really could use some spiritual guidance (or help, maybe even a miracle or two) in our lives!

~Ryan Lance.  :(

~To be continued.~