Lucille, Caregiving, Social Work, Volunteer Work, Church
“Ya Picked A Fine Time To FIND Me Lucille”
March is designated as National Social Workers Month. In recognition to this, I must give a posthumous tribute to Lucille, who in 1982 was an 83-year old widow in San Diego. She took me in while I was a Graduate Social Work student to help her as a live-in caregiver.
Having just completed a year of volunteer work with the elderly per the Jesuit Volunteer Corps in the San Joaquin Valley of California, this social worker was given a great opportunity to really learn the ropes of elder needs through Lucille.
It all started at a church parish social ministry meeting, wherein we had divided up into small discussion groups and were doing our introductions. As it came to my turn, I noted being an MSW student at San Diego State University with an emphasis in Gerontology (Study of Aging), interests in outreach to the elderly, as well as a desire to sing in the choir.
Next, as Ed was introducing himself, he turned to me and said, “ I’m Ed, a journalist, and what you said, Keith, was music to my ears – have I got a case for you? – Lucille, my mother-in-law! Subsequently, after a successful family interview with Lucille, Janet, her daughter, and Ed, I spent a year learning much personally and professionally from Lucille, a frail but feisty lady.
We all have idiosyncrasies, and I found ways to adjust to some of these. Even though I’d washed my dishes, Lucille liked them towel dried and put away – not just “air dried.” Also, she’d heard that those then new “Instant vision televisions” used a lot of electricity – so she wanted the tv unplugged every night. I certainly learned some humility and patience, as I kept reminding myself of the $ 40/month rent!
Overall, I would assist her with household chores and provide security in exchange for $ 10 a week rent. I was also a good friend with her 88-year old “boyfriend” Herman, a retired truck driver/farm hand from the Midwest, who came every Tuesday and Saturday to water the lawn. They became like family to me. Lucille allowed me to throw parties for my friends and they both came to my MSW graduation.
Having married a New Orleans sweetheart between my grad school years, my wife and I were blessed with many shared gatherings with Lucille and Herman even though at that point, I was no longer staying with Lucille. We would help with simple things like changing light bulbs or cleaning the oven.
In reflecting upon the deep impact that Lucille had on me as a social worker and overall, it reminds me of the 60’s Byrds song, “Turn, Turn, Turn” (Based upon Ecclesiastes 3). There is an appointed time for everything. Thus, when both Lucille and Herman died, their imprint became permanently marked upon me.
Having attended a “Grey Panthers” meeting once at the New Orleans Jewish Community Center with Maggie Kuhn, her message reminded me of both the micro and macro social work lessons that Lucille had taught me: older people are a resource to enrich the community rather than a social problem to be solved.
Also, decisions should not be made for the elderly but by them whenever possible. Seniors ought to be challenged and empowered to take responsibility for their lives and the development of programs affecting them and the whole community. Any kind of advocacy must be for the positive change that will benefit people of all ages – this certainly applies to the current federal look at Social Security.
Social workers can be found in many walks of life – clinical/direct practice, community, clergy, governmental, social service agencies, etc – the list is endless. In my career, I have been blessed to work with elders always whether at Catholic Charities, a Council on Aging, hospitals and now through a companion/home helper service for the elderly. Lucille was truly instrumental in laying the path for me.
So as we celebrate March as Social Work Month, may we always remember to keep our client’s/customer’s needs in focus with dignity and compassion. Also, may we keep an open mind and heart to each encounter we are privileged to have with another human being in need – especially our elders.
While I’ll always treasure and miss her, I can now truly say, with Kenny Rogers, “Ya Picked A Fine Time To Leave Me Lucille!”
Stories Worth Wiping Your A** With
Whether you're making a deposit at the stank bank, dropping a return at the squat shop, or conducting a brown business meeting, these perfectly timed tales provide the literary fragrance your privacy deserves. F
“Ya Picked A Fine Time To FIND Me Lucille”
