Ronee' writes in her journal while waiting for the bus to pick her up to take her to school.
Feb. 13, 2009, Nashville, TN, 6:26 a.m., C.S.T.~
Dear Journal~
Ronee' here. I'm afraid I'm not in the best of moods. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and I don't even have anyone to share it with, other than my friends or family.
Oh, it's okay, but it's more for lovers, or for those who have boy/girlfriends. I have neither. I'm cold-stone single (I'm not really looking, mind you)! There's all this mushy stuff on television, or sappy love songs, or things like candy, cards, flowers, etc., and I suddenly wish I had a special someone in my life.
My brother, Johnny, has a girlfriend, and my brother Anh, has his wife-to-be, Thu. Other members of my family have people interested in them. As for me, I have nobody. Zilch. Zippo.
I mean, am I that bad of a person? Am I that ugly?? I thought I was pretty!!!! What do they have that I don't??
I'm sixteen! I should have at least several boys hanging off my arm, or at least taking an interest in me!! I'm not asking for that kind of attention (the sex; too young; don't need it 'til after I'm married!!); but a boy bringing me flowers, taking me to a movie, or taking me out to eat would be nice!!
I am a very nice person; I don't cause trouble or act mean towards others! Why can't I get a boy to notice me?? Is it because I'm disabled? Do I have horns growin' out of my forehead? Is it because I'm short? Is it because I'm too thin? Do I talk funny?? What?? What's wrong with me that I can't get a boy to notice me?? It's at times like this when I feel invisible!!
Yesterday I got to thinkin' about this, and it's gotten me bummed. I'm also angry that nobody is taking the time to get to know me, boy wise. I feel I am doing something wrong, and I have absolutely no clue as to what it is!
If anyone could offer me any suggestions, I'm all ears! I would give anything to have a boy to love, especially on a day like Valentine's Day instead of spending it at home, pickin' lint from my bellybutton!!
Thanks for listening to me; I hope you understand why I'm so freakin' bummed today!
Take care and happy Valentine's Day anyway! Personally, I don't need it! It's too much drama for me!!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend, Ronee' Le-Anne. :(
These holidays are very traumatic for young adults. It is easy for us older people. A young person has friends that are all excited about the special day and probably a bunch of them have boyfriends and it is normal to feel left out when so many enjoying the day. A very well written work. You bring the feelings of this young girl to life.
My boyfriend 50 years ago refused to honor or acknowledge Valentine's day and now that we just celebrated out 50th wedding anniversary on the 11th---very close to Valentine's day, he has yet to ever send a card. Such is life!!
Ronne,I can only promise this,,,your day will come! Just believe it.
Karen,,this is soooo heartfelt,,don't want ANYBODY to be sad.
Love to you,
Christine
Ronee should stop worrying if no one loves her because she's disabled; or if she's too skinny or short or ... DOES IT MATTER? She needs to focus on the positives and people will see her for the beautiful young lady she IS. An excellent write, Karen.
It's not too late to start saving every bit of belly button lint. Keep it a box for now and one day you will be in the Guiness book of records for the largest ball of belly button lint. That will get the boy's attention, I guarantee...... :=)
Karen, This is a touching write.Ronee, If you realize the wonderful person you are what other people think won't matter as much. I know easier said than done. But if they see how confident and loving you are, eventaully someone will see the beauty not only on the ourside but inside you. Also, teen age years are hard. Hang in there. Eventually people mature and see what really is important.
With Love,
Cindy
I agree with Georg, sometimes we don't realize we are sending signals of don't bother me...so they don't...when we're ready, we find the singles to send and they come, too many to count...great write Karen, love, Bonnie
Ronee, don't feel too bad, I was sixteen once (about a thousand years ago, LOL) and there should had been a lot of girls hanging from my harm, but that didn't happened and I asked my mirror, "Whats wrong with you?"
Well, nothing was wrong, maybe the signals I was sending were "let me alone!" and so they did.
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