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Jack Kuperman

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How to prepare scrambled eggs (4).
by Jack Kuperman
Sunday, March 8, 2009

Not rated by the Author.

       
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           >> View all 129


     The fourth lesson








/ This is teacher's monologue./

Hi. How are you?
Yes, I will drink some wine before the teaching.
Ah, candles! For me to see eggs better?
Ow. Now I blush.
Let us sit near the table and sip some more wine.
Yes, I like this music.
It's so gentle. And it mixes good with the candle light and wine.

But, wait!
What do you do!
I came here to teach you to prepare scrambled eggs.
So let us do it first.

Do you have eggs?
And did you return eggs to your neighbors?
Very well.

Show me what do you have.
This much? How many did you buy this time?
I did not know you could buy eggs in hundreds.

Well, let us start.
I will wash and dry eggs today.

Please give me that egg.
Thanks. Here it goes. Into the sin. Please give me a whole egg this time.

Now give me five more, so that I won't do it every time you break an egg.
Maybe you are right, it's not enough. Give me twenty.

Here, I put them in this pot. Now it will be easy for you to take them out.
Do you remember what to do next?

Yes, the egg. Now the knife.
Okay, now we will learn a new step.
Slightly beat on the egg with the knife.

You should touch the egg. Beating the air doesn't help.

Well, not this slight touch but a bit stronger.

Ouph, not that strong!

Take another egg.
The broken one throw into the sink please.
Try now.

Wait.
Yes, put first the broken into the sink and take another, but wait, don't try to break it.
I want to explain.

The blow should be between that touching one, when you didn't crack the egg, and that last one, that filled the sink with broken egg. Do you understand?
So try now.

Goooood.
Now take with another hand - yes, of course, put away the knife - now, take this part of the egg with another hand and try to pull both parts away.
Put a little more pressure.

Well, take another egg and make all the steps up to your breaking it. But this time, without that last step.

Good. Now try to pull it gently. Gently.
You learn quickly.
Now take this left part and pour the content into the glass.
Good.

You are really good.
Now try with another egg.
Yes.
Yes.
Right.

Good. But better without eggshell in the glass.
Take it out.
Not with fingers, you moron! Ooops!, Sorry! Didn't mean you! I told it to the egg.
Now almost all of it is in the sink.

No. Don't begin from the scratch.
You want to do it flawless?
Very well. Spill it out and do it once more.

The first one.
Take eggshells out.
Take all of them.
Even this little one.
Yes, and that too.

Now, put another egg.
Splendid!

Don't!
You don't need to do it every time from the scratch.

But wait! At least wash your sink before you continue.
And I will take another glass of wine.
.
O-O!
Is it hot water?
Didn't you understand that hot water makes eggs solid?
And here I already see the water is not going down the drain.
Of course. You prepared wonderful clog from eggs and hot water.
Now we have to open it.
Bring your plunger.


Place it over the drain and vigorously push down and pull up several times.
Contain the splashing to the sink.

I said try to contain it.
Now go and clean the ceiling.

Try using plunger once more.

Clean the floor.
Now, before I will slip on it.
Thank you.

I see the water isn't going down.
You succeeded to cork the drain.
Phone some specialist then.
.
What they say?
Only tomorrow?
Then better agree to this. And after they finish, call me.

   

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Reviewed by T. Helfrick 3/10/2009
Jack, You are very funny, and I love the pictures, especially the
plunger, and the sink getting clogged up with hot water, making it
a boiled egg. I reviewed #4 and also #5. In the fifth one, you asked if you can put other things in the omelette *but not the shell!
I put Monterey Jack Cheese, Onion, and Peppers, chopped up. You will
like it. Toni Helfrick

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