Greetings! This is your friend, Aasha Singh, with an update regarding my family: I last wrote back in February or March of this year; thought an update was long overdue, so here I am.
I have a wonderful husband (Manjeet), as well as two beautiful children: five-year-old Sanjeet Raneesh and ten-year-old Vida Chunarum, who are the lights of my life. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have them in my life.
Life, however, has not been kind to us, particularly this past year and a half. You see, our son is disabled, severely and permanently disabled. It has not been easy, especially on his part. He accidentally hung himself while playing; he used to run around, laugh, talk, enjoy life: he is now a shell of his former self; he needs total care so he can live.
At the age of five, he can no longer talk, walk, even feed himself or go to the toilet on his own. He can see and hear, but nothing else. He is barely existing, and it breaks my heart to see him like this.
More than once, Manjeet and I have suggested institutionalizing him; what good would that do? All too often we hear of terrible stories of abuse and staff shortages at institutions for the handicapped; we don't want to subject our child to that, so we keep him here, with us, where we (and other health care people) do our best to keep him happy, nourished, comfortable.
It's a catch-22 situation, one I wouldn't want you to go through: it takes a very strong person with incredible intestinal fortitude, to endure what we are; not everyone can do what we do.
We have been told to rely on G-d during the bad days. We don't believe in God. Well, we believe in gods, but not the Supreme G-d, the one everyone talks about. We're Hindi; we have our own beliefs, our own gods. Pure and simple.
Our gods get us through; why believe in a G-d that only hurts, destroys??
He allowed our son to become like this, a human vegetable; we don't need that in our life. We've already suffered enough!!
Sometimes we feel like we're the only ones going through the trials we are facing. I know there are other mothers, fathers experiencing what we are; I see, read the blogs, have read books written by mothers or fathers of children with special needs. We certainly aren't alone; yet when hardly anyone calls or comes to check in on us, what am I supposed to think??
More than once, this woman who lives in Tennessee has called us, offered to send us money. I keep telling her no; what part of no doesn't she understand?? She has said she is praying for us, but I told her no; I don't need her damn prayers; I tell her to leave us the hell alone and stop bugging us! I know she means well, but we have our own lives; people need to stop butting in, leave us alone, in peace! We aren't bothering anyone!!
The woman in question also sent us two books she'd written, but she believes in another G-d, the One who has hurt our lives, so I don't want to have anything to do with Him (or her).
If she calls one more time I may have to call her local police, have a restraining order placed upon her! Or put her on my "do-not-call" list! Anything to get her to stop bothering me!!
In any event, we are doing fairly well; not great, but we're existing. All of our time is spent with caring for Sanjie (and also Vida, when she's not into her sports!); it's a wonder we get any sleep at night. Too many times things have happened when we least expected them to, and sometimes Sanjeet has ended up in hospital again with another damned round of pneumonia, an infection, or some other illness! Then we have to put our lives on hold and spend time at the hospital, so we can be with our son, until he recovers!
I will write in here again; it's time to get Vida and Sanjeet up; Vida has school, and I have to change Sanjeet; he's soaked through the bedsheets again, making more work for us! *Sighhh!* I also have to give him his meds, hook him up to his feeding pump, so he can "eat" his "breakfast" before I send him off to school at eight, eight-thirty, when his bus comes. Until later, this is Aasha signing off! Take care, and keep us in your thoughts; we'd appreciate it!
Thanking you in advance~
Aasha Singh, Chula Vista, California. :(
