Chapter Six - School, the operation, and children's court.

When we got back home, I walked into the house like a lady, instead of running in like a boy would. Dr. St. Clair watched my every move. When we got into the kitchen, we all sat down. Dr. St. Clair started by telling mom, just how impressed with me she is.

"Mrs. Crane, Natalie has shown me that she is not only a girl, but acts like a lady when she is out in public. She has very good manners, and doesn't make a scene like some of the other clients I have had over the years. She reminds me so much of Allison, who was a client of mine, until she was twenty-one. As I said before, we still keep in touch, and she tells me how she is doing. Natalie is going to make a fine woman someday, because she is a very decent young lady now. I am also going to send you a recommendation for the children's court, so that Natalie can have her name and gender changed forever. I will be at that hearing too, in case the judge wishes to ask me any questions, and I'm sure he will. I will set up the hearing date for you, and I will have my legal counsel make out the papers. Is that all right with you, Mrs. Crane?"

"Why yes, that would be wonderful. Then Natalie doesn't have to worry about having two names, or someone calling her a boy."

"And Natalie, is that all right with you too?"

"Yes Dr. St. Clair, and thank you so much for understanding."

"Natalie, that is my job actually, is to understand my clients as they really are. I do look for things that may not be suitable, and I do make sure that my transgendered clients are all they say they are. You are as you say you are, and more, young lady. I have had many clients that have gone all the way through the transition process. Do you know what that means, Natalie?"

"Uhm somewhat doctor. I know I have to take hormones, and other pills to stop me from being a yucky boy. And, I know I have to live, dress, go to school, and sleep dressed as a girl, which is just fine with me. I mean boy clothes are so stiff and course. And girls get to have so much fun too. I love being a girl Dr. St. Clair. Being a girl is the best way to live, when you have these feelings deep inside."

"Yes Natalie, I agree with you. All right then, I will go to my office and get things started. And, Natalie, since this is court, you dress really nice. Okay?"

"Yes Dr. St. Clair." I got up and gave her a hug, and then I started crying again. She wiped the tear from my eye, and lifted my chin up, smiled and then nodded like she understood why I was crying.

"Natalie, you're going to be okay. Crying shows me the tender side of you, and that's is what we are, very tender in our feelings towards others and ourselves. I have to be going now, so we can get things moving along. It won't be long now. OH! I almost forgot. Natalie, do you know what an orchiectomy is?"

"No Ma'am."

"Okay, well I will set that up with the urologist too. The sooner that is done, the better you will develop too. Mrs. Crane, would please walk with me to the door? I need to tell you what we have to do." Mom walked Dr. St. Clair to the door, and Jill and I decided to listen by the kitchen door. Yes, girls do do that (giggles a little).

"Mrs. Crane, I didn't want to say this in front of the girls, but the orchiectomy is very important. It not only helps Natalie develop like a girl, but she will not have the body hair that males have as they get older, and her voice won't change to a male's lower pitch and tone. But the orchiectomy involves the removal of the testicles, because that is where testosterone is produced from." Jill and I looked at each other, and went ewwww very sliently. "Without testosterone being produced in the body, the estrogens can do their work a lot better. I will also prescribe prometrium too, and that is a porgesterone. Wait a second, I'll give you that prescription now then, and you can have it filled at your local drugstore."

"Thank you, Dr. St. Clair. We'll see you at the hearing then?"

"Yes, Mrs. Crane, you will. But I want to see Natalie too, while she is going through this transition, so I can help her with any problems that may come, and she doesn't want to talk to you about them."

"All right, doctor, and thank you so much for what you've already done for Natalie."

"You're welcome, Nancy. Have a good evening."

"You too doctor." Then she was gone. Jill and I hurried back to our seats.

"Okay Natalie," mom said looking at me with a somewhat serious look. "What Dr. St. Clair said was, that the orchiectomy involves removing two things from your body, so that you don't produce anymore testosterone. She said she will make the appointment for you, and that is done by a urologist. Do you know what they take out, Natalie?'

"No mom, I don't."

"Well, a male has what are called testicles, and they are located down below, between the legs. They are in what is called a sac. The sac is opened and they carefully remove the two stonelike things. With these gone, you will not produce any more testosterone, and the estrogens you will be taking will be able to do the job they were meant to do, better."

"Uhm, down here mom," I said pointing to my groin area.

"Yes dear. Does that scare you, honey?"

"A little, but if it will make me more of a girl, then I will be brave."

"Well Dr. St. Clair says it really doesn't hurt that much, just feels a little achy at first. But that will go away. She says you will be in the hospital for two nights, to make sure there isn't any infection, then you can come home."

"Okay mom."

"I think I'm tired, Jill will you help me, please?"

"Sure sis, I'd be glad to."

I gave mom a hug and kiss good night, and Jill and I went up to my room. I closed the door, so mom wouldn't hear us talking. "Did you hear what Dr. St. Clair and mom said? I am so glad that they are taking those ugly things out."

"Yes, and I'm glad I never had anything like that, ever. They sound horrible."

"They must be, if girls don't have them. So since I am a girl, what do I need them for? Nothing, that's what."

"For sure Natalie. When they finally take those things out, then you will develop like me. Oh this is going be so great."

"Jill, will you be there at the hospital for me, when I go? I mean I know I can be brave about this, but I would like you and mom to be there, so I don't have to do this all alone."

"Sure sis, and I bet they will do it on a Friday too, so that way you don't miss any school."

"That would be so cool too. Then I won't have to really worry about anything, except...." I trailed off.

"Except what sis? The thing that will still be there? Hey, look at it this way, a girl has what is called a clitoris. So just say that your penis is a very long clitoris, that needs to be shortened."

"That's a good idea sis. Uhm sis, what is a clitoris anyway?"

"You'll learn all about that, when the doctor explains what he will do, when you have the operation to make you a complete girl."

"Ok sis, I think I can wait. I've waited this long." We giggled a little, and then Jill and I hugged and gave each other a kiss good night.

When she left, I went into my room, and drew my bath, and then went and got out a nice satin teddy, and laid it on the bed. It had a matching pair of panties with it too. I went back and turned the water off, and got into the tub, and just soaked for a bit. I didn't know why I needed to soak, but it was relaxing. Jill came and knocked on the door, and said she needed to get in. I told her the door was open. She came, and sat on the toilet after slipping her panties down, and we talked for a bit.

"Natalie, this is something you should get used to. Girls aren't embarrasssed in front of other girls."

"I'm not embarrassed sis. I think its wonderful that I'm a girl. I get to be happy, I get to do more fun things, I get to share things with my sister, and have talks with my sister. Even if you are older than me, I still like talking to you."

"That's great, sis. I enjoy talking to you too." She wiped herself, and then slipped her panties back up. She put the toilet lid down, and sat there, and we just talked.

"I mean, I just love soaking in the tub, and having bubble baths, and wearing pretty clothes, and being called young lady. I like it when mom and daddy give me hugs, and when daddy calls me punkin'. I just love being a girl."

"I know sis, and I love having you for a sister too. Mom says that in a couple of years, you will able to have the operation, but that will be right after school ends for the summer, so you have time to heal right. Mom was also told that there will be after care that is very important, but she didn't say what, tho."

"It's okay sis. I'm ready for anything now. I mean, since this has been me like forever, I am ready for whatever comes now."

"What about Tommy?"

"Tommy is great, he said when I do finally have my operation, he would come and visit me in the hospital, and here at home. His mother told me that I am transsexual, because I feel that I was born in the wrong body."

"Yes sis, you are transsexual, but that only means, that your body needs a little work, to make it right. Right now your body is male, while your soul is female. See sis, when you are a natural girl, like mom and me, you get to want to know these things, so we can help. I've done a lot of reading, and Dr. St. Clair is a very good source of information too. I bet if you asked her questions, she would answer them, the way you can understand what she is saying."

"Yes sis, I know, and I think I'm turning into a prune." I giggled and so did she.

"Here, let me help you with your back." She took the wash sponge, and washed my back, with very soft, circular motions. When she was finished, she gave me the sponge and told me to finish up, then she left. I finished washing and rinsing, and went into my room to get into my teddy and go to sleep. But that stupid alarm keeps waking me up. I got up, ran my bath, put in some of the rose bubble bath, and used the rose shampoo that Jill had given me. After I was finished, I went back in my room to get dressed, and found a surprise waiting for me.

Jill had put another outfit on my bed. This time it was a skirt set. The skirt was multi-colored and looked tie-dyed. The shell was a teal/maroon, and the jacket was just plain powder blue. The outfit looked really nice, and I wondered just what the kids at school would say when I showed up in it. I got out my rose colored bra and panty set, my nylons, and my black pumps, that had two inch heels. When I was finished getting dressed, I looked at myself in the mirror, made sure everything was straight, and went down to breakfast.

"Good morning Mom," I said giving her a hug. "Good morning Jill," and I gave her a hug too. Then I made one piece of toast, and poured myself a glass of milk. I spread some jelly on the toast, and sat down to eat it. It took me five munites to eat one piece of toast, because mom, Jill and I always talked at breakfast, even tho we didn't have much time. As I washed my saucer and glass, the doorbell rang. Jill and I answered it together and ther were Ginnger, Sue, and of course Tommy. I gave Tommy a big hug and kiss, and we started off to school. Jill pulled my arm, and made apologies to Tommy, saying she needed to tell me something, girl-to-girl.

"Natalie? I want you to know, that being friendly with Tommy is all right, but make sure it doesn't go beyond the kissng and hugging. Okay?"

"Okay sis." I listened to Jill and mom because they have been girls longer than me, and there were things I needed repeated, so that after a while, it would be second nature to me. I'm eleven years old, and I think Tommy has more than just a friendly interest in me. But I remember what mom and Jill had told me, when we had our talks. Mom and Jill continue to tell me things I need to learn about being a girl, and all of them are about boys. I'm not to let a boy put his hand under my skirt or dress. I'm not to go into his room at his house, or allow him in my room at my house. We sit on the sofa at each other's houses, and watch television or talk. We were told that cuddling is all right, as long as it doesn't go beyond that. I think tho, that I just kinda knew these things anyway, because like Jill said, girls mature faster than boys. I mean there are some men I have seen acting like little children. Being a girl, we can act anyway we want, as long as we know our limits. Everyone has limits. That's what mom said. We got to school, and all of a sudden the whistles started, when they saw Tommy and I walking hand in hand. We got onto the playground, and waited by our door to open. then the door finally opened, we all went in, and Mark came up to us.

"Natalie, I want to apologize for being rude to you. I guess I just don't know when to quit. I like your outfit tho, it still makes you look pretty."

"Thanks Mark, apology accepted. And thanks for the compliment too."

"You're welcome," he said and then walked to his locker.

In Middle school, we have lockers, no recess, and the only free period we have is lunch. I have one teacher for one block, which is 90 minutes long, and there are three blocks during the day. I went to Miss Hawkins room and sat down. Miss Hawkins looked at my outfit, and wanted to know where I got it from.

"I got it from my sister Jill. She gives me all of her hand me downs that she doesn't want or need anymore, even though I have a lot of pretty clothes myself.

"That's what sisters are for Natalie, is to share things and have talks and do things together. You are very fortunate to have Jill for a sister, Natalie. She was my student when she was your age."

Miss Hawkins gave Jill a very nice compliment. "Thank you, Miss Hawkins, and thanks for saying good things about Jill too."

"Oh my gosh, dear, you are the one I need to thank, and Jill too. I have never had such brighter students. Most of my students are very smart, but Natalie, you and your sister, are way smarter, because you are just becoming a girl, and yet, you seem like you were born one. That is remarkable. Your studies are to perfection, and your attitude in this class is such a pleasure amongst these rowdy boys, who don't know how to behave." She shot a glance towards Mark and Bobby.

"Thank you Miss Hawkins, but I'm just doing my work. When I study at home, I don't do it watching television or playing video games, or talking on the phone. I do my work, and if there is enough time, I watch television with mom and Jill."

"That is why you are my brightest student, Natalie. You pay attention to detail, and you write your essays very nice too. I saw your fifth grade book report, and it was really, really good."

"Thank you, Miss Hawkins. I'm really glad you like my work, but I just do it, and then have time to talk or play or watch tv."

"And that is a good way to look at your future to, young lady. If you study hard, you may be able to get an academic scholarship, to a college of your choice. Natalie, do you like to read a lot?"

"Well, I don't read a lot, but when I do read, I try to picture the story in my mind. To see if I can see the scenes and the characters."

"All right Natalie, but thanks for letting us know a little more about you."

Just as Miss Hawkins was ready to tell the class to take out our books for the first class, her radio sqwacked, letting her know someone needed to talk to her. When she said she was there, the secretary from the office said, "please send Natalie Crane to the office with her books, please. Her mother is her to take her to the doctor." Miss Hawkins said she was sending me right away.

"Natalie, go to the office, your mother is waiting, and for homework, I want you to read a book, and write a book report on it, due Friday. For tomorrow, just do the lessons at the end of chapter two."

"Yes ma'am."

"Good luck Natalie, and we'll see you on Thursday."

"Thursday ma'am?" I asked very puzzled.

"Yes Natalie. You will be in the hospital tonight, and tomorrow, and your mother has already told me what is going to happen. I don't want to say it front of the class, Natalie, but Dr. St. Clair made the appointment."

"All right, Miss Hawkins. Yes I think I know what this is. I will see everyone on Thursday then."

Everyone said goodbye, and I left the classroom, and went to the office. Mom was there with Jill, and I gave them both a big hug, and we left.

"Where are we going, mom?"

"Dr. St. Clair wasted no time in getting you an appointment with the urologist to have your orchiectomy done. There is also something else the doctor will remove too, and that is called the prostate gland. The prostate gland, is only in male bodies. Females don't have those, either. We're going to the hospital, and you will be given a room, and then the doctor will operate sometime today, and you will be there for the weekend, because of the prostate being removed, along with those nasty other things."

"All right mom. Will you call Miss Hawkins and let her know, and my other teachers, too. That way Jill can get my homework for me."

"Yes dear, I will call the school to make sure Jill can pick up your homework."

We got to the hospital, and the lady at the admitting desk looked up my name, and told me I had room number 317. When she took all of my information, she had another lady take me up to my room, in a wheelchair. They said it was hospital regulations. So I was pushed up to my room, and I found I had a roommate. Her name was Cynthia, and she was there to have her appendix out. We got to talking, and she said she has seen me around school, and thought it was cool, that I was going to be a girl forever.

After we were talking for a while, the nurse came in, and introducd herself.

"Hi Natalie, I'm nurse June. I'm going to be your nurse until about two o'clock this afternoon, and then another nurse will come in and take care of you."

Nurse June looked like she was about the same age as my mom, and she had one of those very friendly smiles. When she talked she almost sounded like she was singing. Her blonde hair was put up, and her nurses cap was pinned to it. She didn't wear any nail polish or lipstick, but her makeup, was very nice. After she left us alone, Cindy started talking again.

"Your name is Natalie, isn't it?"

"Yes Cynthia, it is."

"Oh just call me Cindy, everyone else does. You know we're going to be here the same time as each other?"

"That's great, Cindy. I like talking to you."

"Yes, it is great to have a roomy. It gets boring in here all by yourself. I was here all day yesterday, with no one to talk to except the nurses."

"Well, I'm glad we met Cindy. I like making new friends."

"I do too. My mom and daddy are coming to see me a little later. Tomorrow they are going to take my appendix out, cause the doctor said it was imflamed or something like that."

"My mom and my sister, are still downstairs yet, but they'll be up here shortly. My sister is 14, and she is so nice. Mom is nice too, but not like having a sister tho."

"I only have two stupid brothers, and they pick on me every chance they get. They think it's funny."

"Yes, Cynthia, the boys used to pick on me too, until Tommy told them to stop."

"Tommy Mason? He's nice. You are so lucky to have him for a friend. I don't see him with his friends anymore tho."

"That's because he told me, that he thought that being tough, meant he had to be a bully. Then he said he met me, and everythng changed. Mom and I have been having talks about him, and about just boys. She wants me to be a lady when I'm with a boy. But I can't go out alone with him tho, I have to see him either at my house or his. And he isn't allowed in my room, and I'm not allowed in his."

"Natalie, when I get out of the hospital, can I come and visit you too. We can play. I like to listen to music too."

"Yes Cindy, you may come and visit us. I'd like to show you my dolls, and what mom got for me, when we went shopping."

"Well young lady, we're not gone long enough and you are already talking about me?" My mom said in a questioning voice, with that family smile.

"Yes mother, we were talking about Cindy coming to visit when she gets out of the hospital."

"That would be nice, dear. I'm glad you made a new friend.

"Thanks mom. Cindy, this is my mom, that's my sister Jill. They have really been so nice to me since I told them I needed to be a girl, forever."

"Hello Cindy, I'm Jill. It is so nice to meet you. Is that nightgown yours, Cindy?"

"Yes Jill it is. I think it's the prettiest one I have."

"Well it certainly is very pretty. Natalie has some that have animals on them too, just like yours, only different, tho."

"Natalie," Jill looked at me with that family smile. "I think mom and I should really be going to get a little lunch, your lunch should be coming shortly. We'll be back later tho. Okay?"

"Ok sis, Cindy and I will be here, I guess." We all giggled a little at that, and mom and Jill left to get their lunch, after giving me a hug and a kiss. They even gave Cindy a hug too, and Cindy thought that was just the greatest thing.

After mom and Jill left, Cindy looked at me with a puzzled look on her face. "Natalie, do your mom and sister always give hugs to your friends?"

"Yes Cindy. Mom and Jill feel that everyone deserves hugs, because hugs are important."

"I love hugs too. My mom says that a hug a day keeps the gloom away. I think she's right, because everytime I get a hug, I feel very happy and warm inside."

"Yes Cindy, me too."

Then the nurse came and said it was time to take my temperature and blood pressure. She put the thermometer under my tongue while she put this thing around my arm and started squeezing a black rubber ball like thing. The pressure started tightening around my arm, and just when my arm felt like it was going to break, she turned a little knob under the ball thing, and the pressure started to go away. When she was done, she said my blodd pressure and temperature were normal, and she left, after smiling when she said.

"All right, you two, I'll be back after lunch, to see how you're doing." We both said all right together, and the nurse left.

"Natalie, Why do they take our blood pressure and temperature?"

"I guess because they want to see if we're all right."

"Yeah, I guess."

We waited just a little while longer and a lady came in with our trays, and set them on the table stand, and raised our beds so we could actually sit up and eat. The lunch was okay, I guess, but it was way too much for me to eat, so I just took and couple of bites from everything, and left the rest. I drank my milk, and then closed my eyes to rest a little. I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, the nurse came in to take our trays, and then she woke me up, and asked me if I was feeling all right.

"Yes ma'am."

"Well the reason I ask is because you didn't finish all of your lunch. Aren't you hungry, dear?"

"Yes ma'am, but I don't eat very much. I just took a couple of bites from everything, and I was full. It was a good lunch ma'am, but way too much for me to eat."

"All right, dear." Just as she left with our trays, mom and Jill came back in with two other parents. These must be Cindy's mom and dad.

"Mommy, daddy!" Cindy squealed with delight at seeing her parents come in the room. "I made a new friend today. Her name is Natalie."

The went over by Cindy's bed, while saying hi, and it was nice to meet me. I told them the same, and introduced mom and Jill to them, and they visited with Cindy, mom, Jill, and I for a while, then they all left, saying we needed to get some rest, because tomorrow was going to be a very busy day for both of us. Cindy and I talked some more, then I laid down and fell asleep. I never slept so much during the day, and maybe it was because I wasn't all that sleepy, but all of the things that have happened to me lately, was just tiring, and I was just letting my body rest.

I slept until dinner time, and even this was way too much for me to eat too. There was a different nurse though, than the one that was here at lunch time. I took bites from everything and left the rest. The nurse asked me the same question, the other one did, and I gave her the same answer. She took our trays, and I laid back down after she put my bed back down a little. Mom and Jill came back in after I had eaten, and visited for a while longer.

"Hey sis, I brought a game to play too, do you think Cindy would like to play?"

"Yes I would, thank you JIll."

So we sat at the table in the room, and we played Sorry. I kept getting moved back all the time, and after a while, I finally got a few pieces in home. Then with one pice left, to go, and not that far from home, Cindy let out a squeal.

"I win!" Cindy exclaimed. We all said that was a good game, and did we want to play another, when the nurse came in and said visiting hours were over.

"I won the game," Cindy told the nurse as mom, Jill and Cindy's parents gave us each one of us a hug and then said they would be back tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will have my surgery, and Cindy will have hers too. She had a different doctor than I did, and we would probably be finished about the same time. I told Cindy I was tired, so I laid down and went to sleep. The next morning, the nurse woke me up, and said it was time for me to get ready for my big day. I wonder if they say that to all of the kids who have surgery? They woke Cindy up too, and said the same thing to her.

I was taken from my room, and to the room where they would do my surgery. Mom and Jill had just gotten there, and were smiling.

"Okay honey, we'll be right here until you come out. You'll go into a room where you will sleep for a bit, and then they will take you back to your room."

"Okay mom."

"Good luck sis," Jill said with that infectious family smile.

All I remember about the surgery is, the big bright light in the operating room, and then Mom and Jill were telling me it was about time I woke up.

"It's about time, sleepy head," Jill said as she gave me a kiss on my cheek and a big hug.

"The doctor said everything went fine, dear," mom said, as she also gave me a hug and a kiss on my cheek.

"I was sleeping?" I asked puzzled.

"Yes dear, you were sleeping. That's because when they were finished with the surgery the anesthetic hadn't worn off yet, and it still hasn't fully."

"I'll get the nurse," Jill interjected, as she left the room. When she came back, the nurse said:

"Well, young lady, I see that you have finally woke up. That's good. I need to take your temperature, and your blood pressure."

Why do they always have to your temperature and blood pressures, everytime, a new nurse comes on, or you have had an operation, or even an x-ray? I will never understand hospitals, I guess, cause there is so much that they do, that I don't understand. After a bit tho, they finally moved me back to my own room, but Cindy wasn't there yet. I asked the nurse, who again took my temperature and blood pressure, where Cindy was, and she said Cindy was in the recovery room, still sleeping yet. A little while later, Cindy was brought back into the room, and she had her temperature and blood pressure taken too. Hospitals, yuck. The nurse told us both that we would not be having anything solid to eat, until later that night. I don't think I heard anything else after that, cause I went back to sleep for a while.

When I woke up, mom and Jill were sitting by my bed. They both smiled, and mom was brushing the hair out of my eyes. "You were sleeping quite a long time, dear." She was smiling and looking at me, with caring in her eyes. "It is almost time for us to leave, but we will be back tomorrow."

"Okay, mom. I love you."

"And I love you too, dear."

"I love you too, sis," Jill said giving me a kiss and a hug, which mom repeated. "Be good, and we will be back again tomorrow."

"Okay sis, I will." They left and I drifted back to sleep, as they left. Cindy was sleeping too. Whatever they gave me, when I had my operation, kept me sleeping quite a bit. I must have slept through the night, because the next thing I knew, Nurse June was waking me up, with my breakfast tray.

"You two sleepy heads are finally awake, I see," she said with a smile. "Anyway Cindy, Natalie, here is your breakfast, and I will be in later to pick up your trays. Okay?"

"Yes ma'am," I said with with a sleepy tone.

Anyway, what I didn't know was, that mom and the attorney appointed by the children's court were already talking about the name and gender change. I found this out, when mom and Jill came back to visit.

"Good morning, sleepy head. Did you eat all of your breakfast, dear?"

"No mom, I can't eat everything they put on my tray. That is way too much for me."

"All right, dear, don't worry about it then," she smiled and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Sis, you eat like a girl should. A little bit of everything, and then usually we're full. Here's a hug and kiss from me too."

"Thanks sis. Cindy and I went to sleep after breakfast. I was really tired."

"I know dear. How are you feeling tho? Do you have any pain?"

"I have some pain, mom, but I think the pills the nurse is giving me, is making sure I don't have a lot."

"Yes dear. The pills they are giving you, help most of the pain. By the way, I have been talking to the guardian ad litem from the children's court. He is the attorney that will be there to make sure your rights are protected. He said, that when you are out of the hospital for two weeks, I'm to give him a call, and then we will have our hearing to change your name and gender."

"Okay mom. I really don't like being here, but I guess this is the first step."

"Yes it is, dear, and we are very proud of you too, for being so brave about this whole thing."

"Yes sis, and we even got you a very nice present, for when you leave here too."

"What did you get me?"

"Oh no you don't, little sister. This is a surprise, and you can't see it til the day you leave here to come home."

"Oh all right, I guess," I said giving that little pouty lip (smiles).

Mom and Jill were there when Cindy's mom, daddy and her two bratty brothers showed up. Right away they had to start acting up, and Cindy's father made them stand in a corner, until they left. I couldn't help but smile, because Jill had always told me boys could be so rude at times.

"By the way sis, I brought a game I thought we could all play." She took the game out of the bag, and as soon as I saw it, my eyes lit up.

"Oh wow sis, Monopoly. That's my favorite game."

"Mine too," Cindy said.

Mom asked Cindy's parents if they'd like to play with us and Cindy, and they said yes. We had fun, while her brothers stood in the corner. Cindy and I couldn't help but giggle at the boys standing there, with their hands behind them. Our parents probably thought we were giggling about the game, because they didn't say a word.

"Jill, I have a question? How are you going to school, cause you've been here since I got here?"

"I've been picking up my assignments, and while you are here, I get to come and be with you."

"Thanks Jill, you're the greatest sister any girl could ever hope for." I got a hug and a kiss on my forehead for that nice compliment.

"And just what am I, young lady," mom said like her feelings were hurt.

"I love you too, mom. You're the greatest mom a girl could ever hope for." Another kiss on the forehead and a hug.

"Except for my mom," Cindy said and got a big hug and a kiss on the forehead from her mother. Then we all giggled. The boys were still in the corner when the nurse came in.

"My goodness," nurse June said, when she saw the two boys. "No wonder it is so quiet in here." We all giggled, and by then it was lunch time, in which both of our parents said they had to leave for a while, but they would be back. After getting hugs and kisses all around, they left.

The lady who always brought our trays, set them down on the little stand, and moved it over our beds. The she told me to make sure I ate everything. All I said was "yes, ma'am", and then she left. Of course, I couldn't eat everything, because the food was way too much for me, and I ate just a little bit of everything, before I was full. I drank my milk though, and then I was finished. When nurse June came to get our trays, she just shook her head, and said I needed to eat more than what I was, but my blood pressure and temperature were always normal, even tho, I was eating like a bird.

The doctor came in after lunch, just as mom and Jill came in the room. He asked to be excused so that he could talk to me alone, but mom wouldn't hear of it.

"I'm her mother, and I need to know what is going on."

"Very well, Mrs. Crane. Natalie is doing fine, the operation went without any complications, and there is no infection. If she continues to do this well, she will be able to go home in a couple of days."

"That's good doctor. Thank you so much for being so understanding." Mom said beaming from ear to ear.

"You're very welcome, Mrs. Crane. And Natalie, good luck with your life. You are going to make a pretty girl."

"Thank you doctor," I said with a genuine smile. Then he left.

This doctor looked very young, but he was very good at what he did tho. Mom and Jill were glad that maybe I could leave in a couple of days, and so was Cindy.

"Natalie, I will probably still be here for a while after you leave. Will you come and visit me, if you can?"

"Yes Cindy, I will."

Two days go by very quickly, when you are sleeping most of the time, and visiting. Cindy and I talked, and laughed and slept. The nurses were not happy with the way I ate my meals, but I didn't want to be fat, either. Cindy's mom and dad, didn't bring her bratty brothers again to the hospital, when they visited. But, when they found out that I was going to maybe leave before Cindy, they wished me good luck, and gave me hugs and kisses.

"Hello young lady," The doctor said with a smile. "I'm going to examine you, to see how you are doing. If there is no infection, and your blood pressure and temperature are all normal, I will let you go home today. How does that sound, Natalie?"

"That sounds very good, doctor. Thank you."

"You're very welcome, young lady. Now, let's draw these curtains closed so I can see what is going on."

He drew the curtains around my bed, and then lifted my gown up and began looking where he operated. Then he felt around for a bit, and asked if it hurt a lot, and when I said no, he put my gown back down, and opened the curtains back up. Mom and Jill were standing there, with a package in Jill's hands.

"Hey little sister, you get to go home today. How does that sound?"

"All right."

"That's good, because we brought you something. Can you get up, and come with me, so we can see how this surprise looks?"

"Yes sis, I can." I got out of bed, and followed Jill and mom to the restroom, where Jill pulled out of the bag, the nicest dress I had ever seen. It was lace around the neckline, the sleeves and the hem. It was coral in color, and came to my knees. It fit really nice too, and the under garments were placed so they weren't too tight, except for the training bra, which was hooked like it was supposed to be. The shoes that they bought were coral colored mules, with a slight wedge for a heel. After I was dressed, I just couldn't wait to show Cindy. We went out into the room, and I walked over by Cindy.

"See what my mom and my sister got me, Cindy?" I held the sides of the dress, and did a twirl for Cindy.

"Wow Natalie, that is very pretty. You are so lucky."

"Thanks Cindy. I hope you can come to visit me at my house soon, tho. I'd love to show you all the things, I got since started becoming me."

"And I'd like that too, Natalie."

After we had talked for a while, the nurse came in and had mom sign the discharge papers, and said I could leave at any time. I gave nurse June a big hug and thanked her for everything, in which she said I was welcome. Then I gave Cindy a hug too, and promised to visit, then mom, Jill and I left for home. A lady came in with a wheelchair, and wheeled me down to the front entrance, and mom gave a guy a piece of paper, and he came back with our car. As we were driving home, mom decided we should make a stop.

"What do think we should have for dinner, Natalie?"

"Pizza!" Jill exclaimed. we all giggled.

"Shhh Jill, I was asking your sister."

Jill pretended to be hurt by giving that little pouty lip.

"I don't know mom. I think maybe I just want to sleep. I'm very tired yet."

"Okay dear. Yes, the doctor said you might sleep a lot for a few more days yet."

Not only did I sleep for a few days after getting back home, but for the entire two weeks. I slept, ate, slept ate, used the bathroom and took my baths, but mostly I slept. Then mom woke me up one day and asked me if I was ready to go to children's court for my hearing.

"Honey, your guardian ad litem called yesterday, but you were sleeping, so I didn't wake you. He said that our hearing is scheduled for next week Wednesday at one thirty in the afternoon. He also said that a social worker will come to the house, to ask you and all of us questions. Then she will make out a report and give it to the court. All you have to do is answer the questions truthfully."

"All right mom, I will."

I lost track of the days, and on Friday, a lady came to ask me questions.

"Hi Natalie, I'm Mrs. Allen. I'm from the county social services, children's division. It is a longer title than that, but it is so you can understand it. Anyway, I need to ask you some questions, without your mother and sister here. Do you think you can answer them for me?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good. Okay now, I understand you wish to be a girl. May I ask why?"

"Because ma'am, I feel like a girl. When I put on my sister's outfit that first time, I felt like that is who I was. I mean I never fit in anywhere else, so I had to find somewhere where I did fit in. So I thought one day, how would I fit in, if I was a girl. I went outside, and my sister and her friends were the first one's to talk to me. I was scared, because I thought they were going to make fun of me, but they didn't tho. My sister and her friends were going to the mall to have a soda, and they asked me to go with them, the way I was dressed. There was a boy there, his name is Tommy, and he always picked on me at school. But when he saw me, and knew who I was, he was very nice to me. I was surprised, because he had never been nice, not like he was. Then we left the mall, and came home, and mom was home. So I asked mom, when she finally knew who I was, if I could be Natalie forever."

"Okay, and that is good. Did anyone make you dress like a girl?"

"No ma'am. I needed to find out where I fit in. When I was accepted as a girl, then I knew where I fit in. I was never any good as a boy anyway. I always got picked on, called names, and made fun of. When I tried to play the games the boys did, the said they don't play with girls." Then I looked at the floor, with a very sad look.

"Honey, is there anything wrong?"

"No ma'am. It's just that, why are boys so mean tho? I mean they pick on everyone that is weaker than they are, and as more than one too. I don't understand why that is."

"Natalie, I don't have any more questions for you. I have really heard enough. I'll see you and your mom in court. Goodbye for now, dear."

"Goodbye Mrs. Allen."

After Mrs. Allen had left. mom and Jill wanted to know what she asked, and I told them. I also told them what I had said, and I got hugs and kisses from both of them..

Chapter Seven - The hearing.

Five days can go by very quickly, and it was time for us to go to court. I was all healed by that time, and there was no more pain. I got up and ran my bath. I put in some lavender bath crystals, and let the tub fill up. Then I went to get my clothes out. I picked my nice cream colored dress, with the sleeves that came to just below my elbows, and right at my knees. I picked white underclothes too, white double knit knee socks, and my black Mary Janes. I put a little powder on my face, mascara on my lashes, and a very light lipstick. Then I was ready to go. We all got into the car, and mom drove to the children's court center. We went in and told the officer at the window who we were, and why, and he told us to have a seat, as he made a check mark after my name. When my name was called, mom, Jill and I got up and went into the courtroom.

The judge was an older man, with a blading head, and looked older than my mom. He looked at me as we came in, and the way I sat down, and folded my hands.

"All right, it seems everyone is here. This is a petition from the parent or guardian of one Nathan Crane, a male minor, to change his name to Natalie Ellen Crane, a female minor. The second part of the peition is requesting permission to change the child's gender as well. Before this court can make any decision, there are a number of persons we must hear from. Mrs. Allen, will you give us social services position on this matter."

"Yes your Honor. We did and exhaustive background search on the entire family. We looked for everything we could, and we found no criminal records, and no open or closed CPS cases. When I went to the home to talk to Nathan, the child didn't seem to be coherced, or talking from memory of a practiced speech. What the child told me was from the heart, and I believe this child is the person who "she" claims to be, deep inside of "her". When I talked to the mother and the sister, I found that they accepted Nathan as Natalie, because for the first time in "her" life, "she" was actually happy. We have no objection, your Honor, to the court granting the petition."

"All right, thank you, Mrs. Allen. Now I need to ask the mother and the sister a few questions, and then I will ask the child last. Mrs. Crane, why do you feel your child should become a girl?"

"Your Honor, if you would have known Natalie before now, you'd know that she was never very happy, until she decided to try and become someone she has always been in her soul. I will always accept my child, whether as a boy or as a girl. It is my child's choice."

"Thank you. Jill Crane, why do you think your sibling should be a girl?"

"Because like my mother said she hasn't been happier. We argued a lot, but since she became Natalie, we have been closer than we have ever been. I mean, you'd need to know her before you could suspect she was anything but a girl."

"Thank you. Now before I ask the child any questions, I will ask Dr. Barbara St. Clair, what she thinks should be the court's opinion."

"Thank you, your Honor. When I was first called to come and see Natalie Crane, I felt that maybe I would be meeting a very unruly boy. But it was just the opposite. I met a very demure, and polite young lady, who did nothing masculine, even during my "fishing" trip. She acted as a lady always. I feel the court should change her name and also her gender. I feel she will make a very nice young lady, your Honor."

"Thank you, Dr. St. Clair, as always. Now, Young lady, will you tell this court in your own words, why you want to be a girl?"

"Yes sir. I told Mrs. Allen, when she came to our house, that one day I needed to find out where I fit in. So I went into my sister's room, and looked through some of her clothes, picked out a really nice skirt outfit, some underclothes, and shoes. After I was dressed, I looked at myself in the mirror, that was in her bedroom, and I saw a girl with very short hair. I then went into my mother's room, and got her wig out, and put it on. I had to make sure it fit right, so I put it this way and that way, until it looked like the girls at school. While I was dressed like this, I felt that I should be a girl, because I felt very nice, very much like a girl. Then I decided I needed to see if I fit in as a girl, because as a boy, the boys just told me they don't play with girls. So I went outside, for a walk. When I started walking toward the theater, I saw my sister with two of her friends. I said to myself that it was now or never, and started walking towards them. When I was walking past them, my sister said she had an outfit just like that, then started saying, hey you in the plaid skirt, where did you get that outfit from? When I kept walking, she came up to me, and turned me around to face her, and as she started to ask the question again, she recognized me. When she asked me why was I wearing her clothes, I told her. I told her that I needed to fit in somewhere, but I guess I didn't fit in as a girl either and I was nothing but a stupid boy..."

"What did she say to you then?"

"She told me that I was not stupid, and she looked at me with concern and told me to come with them, because they were just going for a soda at the mall. I went with them, and then this boy Tommy came up and wanted to know what my name was. When I told him who I was, he said that I looked very pretty and hoped I could finally be happy."

"I see. Has this boy seen you since, I mean outside of school?"

"Yes sir. He asked me if he could be my boyfriend...."

"And how did you feel about that?"

"...I was well, like I was surprised, and I was a little confused too. I mean, sir, I am only eleven years old, and I thought that I would have to talk to my mom about whether or not I was too young to have a boyfriend. My mom told me that depends on what I meant by "boyfriend" and what kind of feelings I had for Tommy. I told her I really didn't know. Not then, I didn't. I still don't know tho. I mean, because Tommy was always rude and mean to me. he and his friends always called me names, made fun of me, and beat me up a lot too. But since I decided to become Natalie, he hasn't been hanging around with his friends, and he has been over at my house a lot since then."

"If they could make you a girl right now today, would you like that?"

"Oh yes sir, I would. More than anything in the whole wide world."

" I see. All right, young lady, that will be all. Does anyone here, those who testified, or those who haven't, have any objections to this child being called Natalie Ellen Crane, a female?" He waited for a few minutes, and when no one said anything, he looked back at the papers on his desk, and then he began. "Hearing no objections, and only favorable comments by all the concerned parties, it is the order of this court That Nathan Edward Crane, a male minor child, be known now and forever as, Natalie Ellen Crane, a female minor child. It is so ordered and this court is adjourned."

After the court hearing, and I was now a girl, at least officially. Then we went to the mall, and had lunch. Of course wouldn't you know it, Tommy's old friends just happened to be there. They came over and taunted me while mom and Jill were getting our lunch. Jill must have seen what was going on, and she came over and asked them what they thought they were doing.

"Hey sweets, we're just askin' your little sister how she likes bein' a queer."

"That is so good. Did all three of you think of that each on your own, or in your collective, brainless heads?"

"Hey now sweets, don't get angry, we just wanted to know is all."

"That's good, because if you don'tleave and quit picking on Natalie, I'll tell Tommy, and you will have to make sure he doesn't find either of you." Then their game was over, and they left.

"Collective, brainless heads? My Jill, that was good," Mom said setting our tray down on the table. Jill and I decided we should tell Tommy anyway, so that those three creeps would leave me alone forever. But that was yet to come, and this was now, so we weren't going to worry about it. My name is Natalie Ellen Crane, I am a girl, and I have a loving mother and sister, as well as a nice boyfriend, and accepting teachers. Life is going to be very good, from now on.

Huh? Oh Yes, so I'm eleven years old, and your problem with that is?

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is a work of fiction. But it can be a confidence building tool too for transsexuals of all ages. It is my hope, that those who read this, will see that we are just ordinary and normal women, who only want to get along, and live our lives as normal as possible. Just remember though, that there are women who are born barren and will never have a monthly cylce or be able to bear children. That does not make them any less of a woman either. And neither does being transsexual. Being a woman is more than just a body though. It is a whole way of thinking, attitude, physical feelings, caring, nurturing, and being able to stand up to a lot of things men only wish they could. And, even though men can care too, and cry and have feelings, they will never be able to do it the way we do, because our feelings are all hormonal and affect our entire bodies.

Thank you,

Barbara Lynn Terry
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."