Elaine Maxwell here.  Thought I'd update you on what is going on in our world.

I'm afraid our son, Caleb Patrick, isn't doing very well at this time.  As of this writing, he is in the hospital, getting over a bout of a series of seizures.  This started last week; they've seem to have gotten worse.  Right now, the doctors have him knocked out, so he doesn't yank out all the tubes invading his little body.

It's heartbreaking to see him lying there in the ICU ward, looking more like death.  We try to be brave, be strong for him, but it's difficult.  We try to be positive; however, when the doctors keep giving us bad reports, or tell us he may have brain damage, we aren't so sure.

This is when we wish we could pull the plug, so he doesn't have to suffer any more.  It's a terrible position to be in; I wouldn't wish this agony on anybody!

Yesterday was Father's Day; however, we didn't really celebrate it:  we spent all day at the hospital with Caleb, while my mom watched the girls.  She said she had a wonderful time with the girls; she took them to the park, and then to the zoo.

So normal, so innocent, so unreachable for us at the present time!  With our little son lying in ICU, fighting for his life, it is hard to see the good in any of this.  We don't know if Caleb will emerge, unscathed, after all of this is overwith; he could be even worse off than he already is now, and we are having a very hard time dealing with it.

We know that the seizures are a part of his illness; still, it's hard to see our son thrashing uncontrollably in his crib (or in his chair); then we have to do everything possible to keep him from injuring himself or swallowing his tongue; we are so sure he is going to die, and it is a horrible expreience for all involved. 

We still blame ourselves for passing this shitty faulty gene on to our son; how we wish he were more like his active, healthy sisters! 

I wish we could throw his wheelchair, his meds, or his equipment into the garbage; it would make us stop thinking of how sick our son really is!  How we wish he could run around, shout, play, or even take care of himself instead of having to take care of him, twenty-four-seven!

Well, the phone is ringing; hopefully it's not the hospital, or if it is, hopefully it's better news regarding Caleb's prognosis.  Just keep us in your thoughts and say a prayer to the angels for us; we'd really appreciate it!  I will write in here again when possible.

~Love, your friend, Elaine Maxwell.  :( 

*to be continued.*