OK, you caught me tearing up the newspaper! I couldn’t help myself. I didn’t intend to and it’s as much your fault as mine. Who was it that left the paper in a place that was convenient for me to see? You know I can read. I was curious what was in the paper today.

 

The front page had a title in big letters, “Dog Bites Postman.” I had to read that one and the writer had a slanted view. You know the mailman tormented the dog. A dog wouldn’t just attack for no reason. He probably remembered his dad telling him about a mailman who had sprayed his dad with mace. The article made it look like the dog initiated the action. They took him away “for observation.” The article made me so angry that I tore up the front page.

 

I turned to the sports page and there were all kinds of articles about teams with cat names: Tigers, Jaguars, Lions, etc. That was bad enough but they began to rub it in with headings like: “Lions Demolish Bulldogs.” How depressing! I tore up the sports page.

 

The comics have to be a safe thing, right? Not! Old Garfield prances around with his sarcasm looking for lasagna. They make such a hero out of him while Marmaduke comes across as an overgrow oaf. Even dear old Snoopy is shown as a “nut” who thinks he as an ace pilot. What is sacred anymore? I tore up the comics.

 

I looked at the want ads and the leading items were spayed and neutered dogs. Please!

That brought back traumatic memories and I went crazy as I really shredded the want ads.

 

Each section of the paper had something in it that was a negative representation of dogs. I couldn’t help myself. When I finished the paper it was all torn up on the living room floor.