I’ve written a story or two or maybe even three about attempting to date as a senior citizen. I had my share of disappointing, discouraging and even disastrous dates and then one day, when I was ready to call it quits, I met him. His name is Dick, and he seemed to be an extremely nice man. We found that we have many likes and dislikes in common and we began seeing each other more and more and more.

I met his family. He met my family. We went on a road trip together. We went on a cruise together. We felt we were most definitely a match. And that’s when the problem began. It was quite a dilemma, actually, when you’re in your 60s and you meet a very special person and become quite smitten, what do you call them? How do you introduce them to other people?

Let’s be absolutely honest, I feel that I’m WAY too old to be introduced as a GIRLfriend. And to introduce Dick to someone as my BOYfriend didn’t seem quite right either. Anybody could take one quick glance at us and tell that we hadn’t been teenagers for a very long time.

However, this was not something that Dick and I discussed. We were still ‘new’ to each other so we just suffered through those awkward introductions by saying, “This is Dick.” Or, “This is Donna.” And let the other person come to their own conclusion as to what we were to each other. I decided that I was probably the only one bothered by this and tried to put it in the back of my mind.

UNTIL, I realized that Dick was referring to me as An Acquaintance. It seemed that I wasn’t even His Acquaintance. I was just An Acquaintance.

I learned this fact, that was so disturbing to me, when we were working together to find a publisher for his first book. I had been proof-reading business letters for him for several days. Often, in his letters, he would refer to the opinion of An Acquaintance or quote what An Acquaintance had said to him.

I finally asked him one day, “Just who is this Acquaintance that you keep referring to? Is this someone that I have yet to meet?”

Thinking that I was joking, he gave me that big grin and said, “Why, that’s you Baby.”

“Me? I’m AN ACQUAINTANCE? You’re kidding.”

Dick is certainly not a stupid man and he picked up on the fact that I just might be feeling a tiny bit of displeasure, because he said, to me a bit sheepishly, “I thought you’d be pleased. I‘m using ideas that you‘ve helped me with and I‘m giving you credit.”

“Pleased? Pleased that I’m An Acquaintance? Do you know what an acquaintance is? An acquaintance in down the ladder from a friend, down the ladder from a neighbor. An acquaintance is someone you pass on the street that you recognize but can’t quite put a name with the face. Is that what I am?”

“Well, no, not exactly, but these are business letters to total strangers. Acquaintance sounds good, don’t you think?”

“No, acquaintance does NOT sound good when you’re referring to ME. I thought I was more than an acquaintance.”

(I should make a small note here and let the reader know that I can be pretty stubborn at times and tend to get tunnel vision when my feathers have been ruffled. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know I’m being ridiculous but I keep trying to make some sort of point.)

The entire conversation seemed so absurd by that time that I had to finally let go of my irritation and laugh. But I was far from ready to let the subject drop. You know what they say about pay-backs and I would bide my time for my acquaintance-pay-back. Poor Dick, as a reader, are you starting to feel a little bit sorry for him? You should.

A few days later we were out with another couple, Steve and Margaret, who have been friends with Dick for many years. They’re a great couple and from my first meeting with them, Steve became my ally in razzing Dick. He took a certain amount of evil joy in causing his good friend to squirm.

So, when I turned to Steve and Margaret and said, “Guess what Dick called me the other day.”

Steve knew instinctively that something was coming that would cause Dick discomfort and he was all ears. “Oh no, what did he call you, Donna?”

“He called me An Acquaintance. Can you believe it? I am An Acquaintance.”

Steve gave Dick a oh-you-poor-soul look and said, “Dick, you didn’t! What were thinking, Man? Even I would know better than that.”

Dick tried to explain the context of the business letters, etc. and his reasoning in referring to me as an acquaintance. All of which made perfect sense but he is so much fun to tease that it’s impossible to ever let him off the hook easily.

Until he made the next blunder: (and believe me, more blunders were in his future. Watch for my article about his ‘buoyancy comment!)

Every time we saw Steve and Margaret, Steve would say, “Hey Dick, I’m glad to see you brought your acquaintance along.”

But all kidding aside, it IS a serious dilemma. When you’re in your 60s, dating that special person, what do you call them? Boyfriends and girlfriends can‘t be correct, can it? So what am I, and what is he? If I don’t introduce him as my boyfriend, do I introduce him as my lover? I don’t think that would be very acceptable in most instances. Do I introduce him as my friend? He’s more than a ‘friend’. He’s my BEST friend. He’s my sunshine. He’s the rainbow after the rain. He’s light and laughter. It’s just not easy when you’re 60 and smitten.

Perhaps Dick had the right idea. Perhaps we need to give Acquaintance a new definition? Perhaps, we’ll move it UP the ladder above neighbor and friend….. then again, perhaps not. 

                            © copyright Donna Hale Chandler