People have absolutely no clue what it is like to be me.

They must think I am as dumb as a bag of rocks.

*Newsflash*  I have feelings!!!!  I have dreams, just like anybody else does!!  I have goals!!  Just because my body doesn't work right doesn't mean my brain doesn't either!  I happen to be smart -- very smart!!

I didn't ask to be born with this monster called CP.  Cerebral palsy.  It just happened; it was because the fuckin' doctor dropped me as I slipped from my mother's birth canal!  Because of it, I now am marked for life, with brain damage and accompanying physical handicaps.  My balance is the shits, so I walk with two crutches (and even then I fall, because I trip over the damn things!).  My speech is slurred; I sound like I had two many pints of beer to drink when I don't even touch the stuff.  I also drool a little and am constantly knocking things over. 

It's highly embarrassing!!

You think I enjoy falling and looking like a circus clown, don't you?  Well, you couldn't be more wrong!!  I hate having to worry about my balance or if I am going to end up flat on my face yet again!  I have bruises on top of bruises, and I hate the staring or whispers!  I know people must think my boyfriend beat the crap outta me or that I don't have the good sense that God gave a goose.  Well, I do; it's just that my balance and brain are off kilter because of this stupid CP!!

I do work, and I am grateful for it, but I work at a place for people with handicaps, so I am around "my kind" all day long.  As for any other time, I am fighting with the "normal" people (those who don't live with disabilities, or whose problems aren't nearly as visible as mine) because they treat me so bad!  I feel more at ease when I am at my job than any other time because then I don't have to put up with.  All.  This.  STRESS!!!!

I have friends, and I have my parents, and they try to be supportive, but even they don't have a clue what it's like for me.  They don't have to live inside my body.  I feel bad for them because I know they want to help me, but sometimes a girl's gotta find herself and fight her own battles.  This is what I am facing now with the rest of the (nonhandicapped) world, who isn't willing to embrace people "like us".

The kids staring, pointing, and making comments is bad enough; what's worse are the adults.  You would think that God gave them the fortitude to treat me with at least some compassion, but nooooo .... they gotta act like horses' asses, and treat me like I don't know a thing!  They must think I am mentally retarded besides being physically disabled when nothing could be further from the truth!!

Maybe if I brain 'em one on top of their heads with my crutches will they finally "get it" and treat me with the dignity and respect that I deserve! I am not going to take too much more of this; I have had ENOUGH!!!!