Fat.  Ugly.  Stupid.  Worthless.  Gross. A pig.  Disgusting.

I may not be people's ideal of "perfection", but people seem to forget that I am a human being, a human being with feelings.

My name is Jose'.  Jose' Cuervo.  Don't laugh; that is my honest-for-true , given name.  I am sixteen yaers old; live with mi familia in Del Rio, Texas.  I have my mami y papi y mi hermanos y hearmanas.

I am in the tenth grade.  A sophomore.  And my grades are bad at best: C's mostly, flirting with a few D's, even a few F's.  I hate school; school is nothing but a waste of my time.

One reason why I hate school?  The kids raggin' on me about my weight.  I can't help it that I am big; it's how God made me.  I've always been a big kid; I don't know what it's like to be small.  I take after my mama; she is a big girl, and it's only natural that some of the kids (me and my sisters Olivia and Carmelita) take after her.

The kids tease me constantly about my weight.  It's getton so bad it's getting to the point to where I see myself as nothing but a big, fat fucking loser, and it's getting to the point to where I want to commit suicide.  I can't handle all the teasing much longer!!

If getting teased about my girth ain't bad enough, I also get razzed about my name.  They start singing that stupid country/western song of the same title, and I am getting so sick of it all already I want to throw my head back and SCREAM!!!!

I am always trying to fake sick, just so I don't have to go to school, but mami and papi, they make me go anyway.  I guess they enjoy seeing me get tortured day after day after day ...

If things don't settle down soon, I might have to take some drastic action to put an end to all the torment I am subjected to, or maybe even take my own life.  I've had it way past up my eyebrows with the shit that is dumped on me every day!!

I don't like myself.  I hate myself.  I look into a mirror, and I see nothing but ugly fat.  I see a kid with a piggy face; I resemble a pot bellied pig or a bull more than a human kid, and there's no way I will be able to lose all this tonnage by Christmas!  My parents are always telling me to go on a diet or to get some exercise.  Easier said than done.  I have no energy, and you try walking with all this extra flab hanging off you.  NOT fun!!

It's no wonder I feel so bad.  I have nothing but doubtstorms raging inside of my head, and it's about to drive me crazy! I don't know when it was since the last time I actually laughed or smiled!  As long as I am in school or don't have any friends, I might as well hang it all up and just kill myself!

I hate my life!! There!! I said it!  There's got to be more to life than what I am going through!!

*to be continued.*