MEN SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS

A few years ago, a new book hit the bookstore shelves and immediately rocketed skyward in popularity. It seems everyone was talking about WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS, MEN ARE FROM MARS. Right now, off the top of my head, I can’t think of a true r statement. Could there actually be men out there in the world who think before they speak. Perhaps, but I’m not so sure.

As a means of proof, I will relate to you just one of the many conversations I’ve had with, Dick, the Light of My Life:

In our early dating days, as we were getting to know each other. We talked a LOT. We talked about our likes and dislikes. We talked about our children and other favorite (or not-so-favorite relatives). We talked about things we did well and things we didn’t do so well.

We both agreed that Cruising was a ‘like’ that we both shared so when friends of ours extended an invitation to go with him on a 5-day cruise to Key West and Cozumel, we quickly joined them in booking and making arrangements for a nice relaxing trip.

One particularly beautiful day, Dick and I were sitting by the pool, continuing to chatter to each other, comparing backgrounds, etc., when I confessed to him that I can’t swim.

Such a look of amazement, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen on anyone’s face as he said, “You can’t swim? Really?”

“Honest, I can’t swim.”

“Why not?” he asked me as if this was a great puzzle that must be solved.

I didn’t realized this subject was going to turn into a serious dilemma that needed in-depth discussion, but I tried to make light of, what he seemed to see as a major flaw in my make-up. “I’m not sure why I can’t swim. When I was young, I took lessons two summers in a row. I guess I’m afraid of the water. I just know that if my feet don’t touch the bottom, I surely will drown.”

Dick appeared very unimpressed with that explanation and confidently announced, “I’m sure you can learn NOW.”

Confused by this answer, I asked, “And what makes a difference NOW?”

Without a second thought, without a hint of realizing what he was saying, he quickly answered, “Well, you’re a lot more BOYANT now, aren’t you?”

Ouch! Boyant? Give me a break! Boyant? Did I hear that right? For a few seconds I was totally speechless and just looked at him. Finally he must have felt my eyes boring into the side of his face because he turned, looked at me and said, “What? Aren’t you more boyant now? I’ll bet you were a little skinny thing when you were young?”

Oh my, talk about digging a hole! When I felt he had gotten himself in deep enough I said, “Boyant, you mean FAT?”

You could almost see the light bulb appear over his head as he reddened and said, “No, that’s not what I meant. Not at all. I’m just saying that you’re older and could probably learn to swim now.”

Deciding that he needed to be kept on the hook a while longer, I said, “Oh, so now I’m OLD and FAT? You certainly do have a way with words, Sweetie.”

We finally broke into laughter, knowing that some time, fairly soon, he would stick his foot in his mouth again, and again I would enjoy razzing him. The fact that we can laugh together over such silly things is just one of the reasons we are so happy together.

We all need to laugh at ourselves. It’s good for your health.