Hello.  It's me, Matilda Abrams.  Up until now, you didn't know me by name.

I'm the lady who lost three of her limbs from a very nasty case of bacterial meningitis:  an arm and both legs.  They'd turned black from gangrene.  Doctors had no choice but to amputate.  They had to do this in order to save my life.  I was that close to death.

I have been having a very hard time trying to accept my situation.  At first I was extremely bitter, but I am slowly, but surely, getting my life back, one day at a time.  It isn't easy, but I am getting there, bit by little bit.

I am now at a rehab facility.  Here, the therapists have been working with me to teach me how to do things with just one limb: brushing my teeth (that's not too bad), brushing my hair (same), getting dressed, getting to and from my wheelchair (that is a joke!).  Most of the time I have Bryce carry me.  Getting to and from my bed is no picnic, either.

Now they're teaching me how to write (opposite hand, but I am now writing, nevertheless), and feeding myself.

I am usually too busy to feel sorry for myself, but when I am alone or in bed for the night, the pity party starts in earnest.  I don't know how the children are going to take seeing me like this. 

I feel like I'm only half of a person.  I don't see how they will accept me once they see me.  Bryce has been telling them about what's happened to me, their mother, but I don't think it has really sunk in yet until they see me.

What will they see?  A monster, or their mother?  That's what's scaring me the most.

I am trying to trust in G-d about this, but it's so damned hard!  There isn't a day where I don't cry; it is a wonder I have any tears left from all the crying sessions I've had ever since I woke up from my coma!

I really don't know when I will be leaving here, but one thing is for certain: I just want to get back home, to my family, and I want to have my arm and my legs back (though I know that's impossible)!

~To be continued.~