I wish I were invisible ...

I might as well be from the way people treat me ...  

Every time we go out ("we" being my family and/or my sister and myself), people always seem to notice Carrie first before they even see me.  Maybe it's because Carrie is in a wheelchair.  Maybe it's because Carrie acts younger than her 11 years.  I don't know, but it's getting to be way.  Past.  Annoying!!

Carrie has some unnamed "syndrome" that doctors can't seem to diagnose.  They say she has this thing or that, but every time they run their tests on her, the stupid things always come back "inconclusive" or "negative", which sends my parents back to square one, and then the whole process starts all over again.

It's extremely frustrating because my parents want answers, and frankly, so do I!

Carrie is tiny for her age.  She is 11, but she looks more like six, maybe even five (on a good day).  Carrie weighs less than fifty pounds, is nonverbal, and is not toilet-trained.  She wears diapers  Now, she CAN see and hear, and she CAN feed herself (trouble is, she WON'T; mom or dad or I have to feed her), but she cannot read, write, or carry on an intelligent conversation.  With her, it's a guessing game whenever she is trying to convey her thoughts.

Carrie goes to a special school for handicapped children.  It's about the only time I get a break from her.  Or I go to my best friend's house so I can have some "intelligent" conversation or to get away from the stress level.  Mom and dad are always at each other's throats about Carrie, and I'm getting sick of it already!!

Enough is ENOUGH!!!!

Any way, people see Carrie, and they think she's the greatest thing since sliced bread.  They will then ooh and ahh over her, and meanwhile, there I am, standing right beside her, and people don't even give me a second glance.  Sometimes I feel as if I'm adopted or was born into the wrong family because I would like to get noticed too!  I'm not invisible; I'm a human being with feelings as well!  Pay attention to ME for once!!!!

If I hear "Is that your sister?" one more time I think I'll lose my lunch!!  It's getting beyond ridiculous!  Sometimes I wish Carrie had never been born; I wish my life could go back to the pre-Carrie days!!