Darn!  I knew I shouldn't have expected anything to change when I got my hair cut and styled ... people continue to treat me as if I don't exist ...

I have always been unpopular.  Why?  Because I am fat (weigh over 150 pounds, even though I am only 5' tall), have stringy, mousy-brown hair (or did), wear thick, Coke-bottle lensed glasses, have zits on top of zits, and am in the Special Needs class.

I didn't ask to end up like this.  It just happened.  I have had a rough life: didn't help I grew up poor or ended up losing my parents when I was ten and now live with my grandparents as a result.  In addition, I have been shy, ever since I can remember.

 Well, my grandma (surrogate mom) knew I was feeling bad about myself, so she took me shopping, where I got to spend my birthday money.  I decided to get my hair cut and styled and get some new clothes.  I hated not being noticed by others and I hated being the butt of their stupid jokes.  

I came to school today with a new hope that I would be liked (or at least noticed), but it was like I didn't even count.  The people around me continued to ignore me or barely said two words to me.  Or they said I looked stupider than ever, which sent my good mood spiraling downward.  By the time school was over, I was in tears.  I'm still crying as I think about how the others treated me.

I may be trying too hard to win friends, but darn it, what is wrong with me?  Do I stink? Do I have horns growing out from the middle of my forehead?  Am I that repulsive because I am fat?  I hate having people pick on me or ignore me!!

~To be continued.~