Scare me and he did it was autumn and the leaves were changing again,fall was here and so was the beginning of the season of Halloween,each year I make a bet with my friend he cant scare me yet each year he does better then the last,last year as we we all enjoyed a Halloween party people said they had seen a ghost sure enough it was only my friend in a sheet .Scare me it was that time of year this time we ventured to the outskirts of our town there existed an old house no one live in,it was said it had been haunted.We entered the house it was old to yet that didnt stop us,we entered it,suddenly then we heard moaning loud moans and noise like crying suddenly my friend left the house but I stay then turning there it was a body without a head one arm was gone and both legs were severly cut by a knife. Scare me I wanted to say. It was ugly indeed I thought anyone that saw it in fact would indded be scared. In the one hand it had left it held a weapon,a pruner,a tool that was use to cut tree limbs or branches off a tree,and this pruner look sharper then your normal one did. And he looked angry indeed the house had a smell about it a bad odor that I could not tell what it was or what was making it, my more concern was what was in fact just standing before me holding and to deadly pruner .I wonder what happened in this house and also how he came to be the way he was,must had been something very tragic indeed I took a deep breath and decided that he had the edge,literally,I turn and ran checking a gun I always carried to but was to afraid to use it at the moment.Scare me I said before entering the house ,someone sure is trying their best to just do that,Scare me.Suddenly I stop I looked at my gun and held it in my hand ,I turned he had stop too. Now what we faced off each other staring,no one was moving at all. ' Who are you ? ' I finally shouted at him, that made him drop the pruner weapon, then as I watched something totally unexpected happened. Everything he was wearing was falling off,pants and ripped shirt even the pruner came apart after he had drop it,suddenly I saw a different person there it looked like me. It was me. but an older version of myself,twenty years later . ' I'm you.' I opened my mouth and wanted to say something but he did look like me he was me,but how or why ? He then had too reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a piece of paper he gave me I then unfolded it and started to read it.I then turn too him and said,' Bullshit,your just someone thats trying to look like me or be me for an ulterior motive,you can't be me,There are no such things as other realities you bastard.'He turned and looked at the front door of the house.' The minute you step into this house you yourself entered another reality.This is not your universe any more,can't you smell the very different scent in the air,even gravity is lighter here,and to top that off we have no moon just look outside a window.'Just out of curiousity I stepped closer to a nearby window,it was night now the stars dotted the night sky but in my own universe there was too suppose to be a full moon tonight but here as I looked up in the night sky there was no Moon at all,none only the stars here. Scare me I then once said,someone is doing a damn good job of it and I thought I only felt lighter here but then he then was right gravity was different so was that smell I had smelled before,stronger now.I almost felt sick. But I to took a deep breath . He was use to it here I wasn't he lived here everyday ,not me .
You need to flesh this one out a bit, I don't read microshorts that often -- this one is good but needs to be at least 2000 words to capture the scare. I could do a review longer than the story itself if I wanted. You got a voice for the genre but need to do longer stuff.
Chris has been fostered at the Crowley boot camp since he turned seven. At sixteen, he is finally ready to run away because his foster father is an abusive person who works Chris and the other children to the point of exhaustion. All he has left of h