Know it's June already, but tell my teachers that.  While my friends get to loaf around and have fun, I'm stuck in a hot, smelly classroom.

Flunked half of my classes this semester: didn't apply myself, so I am now paying the consequences.  Can't blame anybody but myself, but damn, I wish I were anywhere but here!!

My name is Carson Stinman.  I am 14 years old.  I would have been in high school, but since I flunked, I have to take several weeks of summer school and depending on the grades from this, time will tell the tale whether I get to move on to high school or spend another year stuck in middle school.

My parents, as you can imagine, are very, very disappointed in me.  I don't blame 'em one bit.  I'm disappointed in myself as well.  I just don't like school; never have, never will.  There!  I've said it; the truth has been revealed.

I live in Zanesville, Ohio, with my family.  I have my moms and pop, as well as two sisters: Hunter Grayce (12) and Trinity Hope (4), as well as a brother (Micah Thomas), who is in college in Idaho.  He's 20 and is as smart as a whip (as is Trinity).  Our grandma lives with us too to help out with Hunter; Hunter was left brain damaged after a near drowning accident back when she was like two, and now she can't walk, talk, or even dress or feed herself (or go to the bathroom on her own).  She's like a big baby.  It's really sad 'cause I remember the accident.  I was four when it happened, but I saw the whole thing.  Still have nightmares about it.

Guess that's one reason why I'm quiet and moody.  I don't like to talk about it or be reminded, but I am, every single day, when I see the care involved with my sister.  It didn't have to happen, but it did, and sometimes I blame myself because I felt I should have done a better job in watching over her.  I was her big brother: I should have protected her somehow.

Mom and Dad both say it isn't my fault (accidents can happen to anybody when they least expect it), but I can't help it.  I have been going to talk to a psychologist about this, but I still have nightmares from time to time about the accident.  And now because of it, my sister is damaged; she will never be like she was, which is very upsetting to me.

What's worst about this whole deal is whenever people gawk, stare, or make snide comments about my sister.  I get so mad I want to punch their lights out.  They need to mind their godda** business and leave us the hell alone!  My sister has more than enough problems; they don't need to heap more on top of her!!

Well, I am going to go.  I've managed to depress myself yet again.  I will write in here again; have to keep on writing; it's what Mrs. Dominguez wants.  *Sigh*  I also have to go to bed; school again in the morning.  *Double sigh!*