This is M'buti again. I thought I would let you know what I wish for Christmas. (I ~still~ don't know what the big deal about Christmas is; after all, I never celebrated it until I came here to America; and that's only been a few years. And I really never got to celebrate Christmas until last year because I was so sick for such a long time.)
But if I ~DID~ have ONE wish for Christmas it would be for me to be a better wife and mother to my husband and little son (and soon to be unborn child; I am several months pregnant, and I am getting ~FAT~!). I am, as you know, stuck in this bed because my doctor ~WANTS~ me to be miserable! I have health problems, and seeing I am on medication, I CAN'T take my pills to help stop the problems. (I am on medication for my blood pressure, my dizzy spells, and my other stuff. I get sick really easily, and I am prone to fainting, amongst other things. I also have breathing problems, but I use oxygen and use a breathing treatment for that. ~THAT~ I can do; it's taking the pills that I CAN'T do, for fear it will hurt the baby inside me.)
So it is because of all this that I am stuck in bed. And I can't work. I am on disability; I get a check each and every month.
Some life ~I~ have!
I ~still~ don't understand ~WHY~ my husband, Roberto, puts up with me, and I still don't understand ~WHY~ I can't do a LITTLE something! I am so bored I am near TEARS, and I am so bored I am ready to go out of my head with CRAZINESS!! But NOOOO..I have to stay in bed as much as I can, and the ONLY place I can go to (it seems) is to the doctor's or to the pregnancy doctor's! I am so ~SICK of DOCTORS~ I can just PULL OUT MY HAIR!!! And I am so SICK of being ~SICK~!!
I am lying on my pillow in my bed, typing this on my little computer that sits on my lap; I have been doing a ~LOT~ of writing since being banished to bed; and from what I have written so far, I t hink I have become a ~NASTY~ bitch!! It is no wonder I am so grouchy: wouldn't ~YOU~ be if ~YOU~ were stuck in bed for two hundred years????
I want to GET OUT OF BED AND DO SOMETHING!! I WANT TO TAKE CARE OF MY FAMILY, AND I WANT TO BAKE CHRISTMAS COOKIES FOR JUBAKI!! I ALSO WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE BESIDES THE &*^$( DOCTOR'S OFFICES!!!!
THAT is ~MY~ Christmas wish..to be a better wife and mother, and for me to be allowed to GET OUT OF BED!!
I don't have a great deal of time to read and navigate all the things on a site such as this, but I did manage to read a couple of your stories. I have to compliment you on an unusual style, which I don't believe I've ever seen before, but is highly effective in getting your thoughts across to the reader.
Jim Olson
Christmas - only days away; plastic snowmen and glowing reindeer adorn the lawns of neighborhoods all across America. All is calm, all is bright, and yet there is something tragically wrong about this Christmas night.
With swift passage thr
