Who Walks Your Psychosis

Martha Paperweight was the first woman in the posh and gated community of Iron Ore to visit and be treated by renowned  psychiatrist Dr. Herman Smear. Martha, the leading snob in Iron Ore for many years, soon convinced most of the rich and bitter older crowd,of the female persuasion, to schedule their own visits with the great doctor. “ He’s such a dear and has worked wonders with me.”

Naturally not wanting to seem like weirdos and be outcast from the tea and biscuit clubs the in crowd was soon in with Dr. Smear. And after a few weeks the good doctor and his amazing methods were the only thing worth discussing during the meetings.

For some background Dr. Smear would analyze and over analyze a patient until they developed a psychosis. After developing a psychosis the doctor would have the patient name it as if it were a pet and give instructions for the minimum amount of attention the psychosis would need.

Fluffy pet beds were purchased by most and special boxes of treats put in easy reach of the new pet. Most prefered chocolate and would sit up for hours watching television and eating the expensive Swiss chocolate with their mistress. It was a grand and carefree life until Mrs. Paperweight announced her spectacular news over an afternoon tea.

“ Dears, I have the most wonderful news. I have just today hired a full time sitter for my psychosis, Little Poo. She will be pampered around the clock and walked twice daily to the park. You must all hire a walker. It’s just a must.” Forced smiles suddenly appeared on the other women's faces as they imagined the fight their husbands would put up.

After a week of angry banter the men won out and had their wives hospitalized at Weak Knee institution for the hopelessly insane.It was a good thing as more time was available for the men to spend at Iron Ore’s golf park. The tennis courts too were filled with younger single woman psychosis free.

Mrs. Paperweight alone was left to treat her pet as she wanted having a rich and understanding husband. Sadly the pet turned on her forcing huge amounts of sedatives and sleeping pills down her throat.

The psychosis walker was devastated.

end