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The Chase Preview by Jordan Lei Copes
Saturday, April 23, 2016
Rated "R" by the Author.
This is a sneak preview of "The Chase"
Chapter One
Last night a friend of mine told me that my life is crazy and that I need to write a book about it. Well, considering the fact that I’m secretly falling in love with him, maybe he's right. His name is Santiago but I call him ATL because he's originally from the dirty dirty south. He's 18, and I met him like three months ago a little after my high school graduation. I was at work playing around when I walked up to the front desk of the restaurant and was mesmerized by his smile, and his eyes.
Then to be newsy I went over to where he was sitting with my manager to ask if they wanted a drink and I finally caught his eye. Those hazel eyes that are almost shielded by some of the longest eyelashes I've ever seen. God how they sparkle. Plus he's 6" tall, a redbone, with a curly low cut and about 250 pounds of teddy bear sexiness. He's an Aries so he has that arrogant fire that makes my heart flutter.
So, of course I tried to talk to him. IleanaI know that sounds bad, but given the fact that I’ve won that exact bet twice before with other boys, it wasn't much of a stretch. But he was different, he didn't react to my advances the same way other boys did. I mean I look good if I don't say so myself.
I'm 5’7", 17, born December 10, mocha brown, I'm thick as shit but I have a flat stomach. 36" 28 42" to be exact. My hips are wide, my ass is fat, and my boobs are firm and sit up nicely. My face is pretty, I keep my hair done due to the fact that my sister is a hair stylist and boys usually love the fact that I’m aggressive. But there was something different about Santiago. At first I thought it was just because he had a girlfriend. But then I found out that he was not only cheating on his girl with three others, but that he had a sexual past that could put mine to shame.
I just didn't get it, why wasn't he biting? I wanted to add him to my collection so to speak. After a while I got frustrated with the fact that I wasn't getting what I wanted. Especially considering the countless jokes Ileana had up her sleeve. Not only had I lost my bet, but to my distaste, I found out that ATL had cut off all of his Friends With Benefits, but he was to re-committing to his girl. This meant in one big F U blow to me, I wasn’t going to have him.
Still, the girl in me that is in love with the thought of love respected him for his decision to be faithful, and so I bid my hunt for him ado. I decided that instead of using him like I've used those other boys this past year and a half, I would be his friend. And since then we've become closer than I ever thought I could be with a boy without actually being in a relationship with them. I mean every night I spend hours pouring my soul out to him, not to mention the fact that we text all day long while I'm at school and he's at work or out with his boys. I mean he's such a good listener! And he gives great advice about everything. Even if it's harsh and painful, he tells me the real deal about everything. Because of those things the respect level I have for him is insane. I feel like we have the components of a relationship without all of the heartache. Problem is, I don't get the perks like kissing, being held by him, or of course, the sex!
I'm still not sure if he knows, if he can feel what I feel but he sure doesn’t act like it. I mean we do so many things together. We go out everywhere a couple goes, movies, dinners, bookstores, parks, plays. We’ve been at each other's houses just chilling time and time again and still nothing. I mean he probably saved my life the time we went to Six Flags and I almost drowned when the wave pool went over my head too many times. Not to mention the time we just walked around for like four hours. I mean we took a bus ride from South Philly to North and then walked back to South, just talking. Given, Alejandra was there, but she spent most of the time on the phone with her boyfriend. Sometimes I actually find myself dropping hints for him, or staring into his eyes and smiling too long just hoping he'd catch on. God boys are so stupid!
I thought in the beginning that it was just infatuation. Somehow I thought that I only liked him because he's sexy and tall. Given the fact that he's my exact type, it's not that much of a stretch. 6’, light skinned with curly hair and light brown eyes. He also has a gap in his teeth and a weird accent that's kind of a mixture of all the cities he's lived in. Philly, Cali, ATL and Houston. The boy got around. But you know what; it's not infatuation, its love. I know love when I feel it, I’ve felt it before.
I guess I just never thought I’d feel it again after Alejandro, after four years, but, I do. Alejandro, the love of my life, the man who gave me a bullet hole in my heart and then left, is in Kentucky right now halfway through his training. My heart is ARMY STRONG, or so he says in the letters to his little sister Alejandra, aka Alli, my best friend. He's built like some type of bronze Adonis at 5'11" 185 pounds. For him to be only 18 he's damn well built. Last week he left for basic training and started his job training, his job will be about artillery, weapons, danger, all that. He comes home in like four months and I’m not sure what to do or how I feel about him.
I mean after Alex and I broke up I had trouble feeling anything. My heart was completely closed off to everyone. Nothing is worse than that. To not be able to feel anything, to not be able to connect with the opposite sex because of the pain I went through was a fate worse than death. I felt like I wasn't even a woman. I could be lying in the arms of my boyfriend in the dark watching a movie, he could be whispering sweet things in my ear and I would feel nothing. I just want to walk into a room and see the boy I’m with and have my stomach flip. I used to have that with Alex, and now I can't even have it with ATL because of this damn friendship! But, I’m starting to feel again at least.
Still, there's always calm before the storm. I found out last week that my soldier has been getting continuous reports on me thanks to my best friend Alli and his best friend Jaime. They, the two most influential people in my life have been snitching me out to Alex all summer. He asks everything about me, who I’m dating, if I’ve kissed them, if I’ve fucked them, if I have feelings for them. And they have been very happy to oblige him. Why? I don't know. I mean I don’t even know why I’m so upset about the revelation of him being angry at me, or why I even care. The fact is, even though we haven't been together officially in a long time, he still feels like I’m his.
I don’t know why I feel this way when I’ve had other boys. It’s just something about him though. None of those other boys have ever touched me the way he has. Not that there have been a lot. It was Alex, Jose, Miguel, Cortez, Juan, Luis, Antonio and then Darius. Eight boys in six years. Alex of course was my first. We were broken up for an entire year before I got with Jose. He was a cutie, but he was more into me than I was with him. Miguel came at the beginning of last year. He was this sexy boy that worked at my job with me.
He was goofy, and cute, and he took my mind off of Alex for a while. That is until we had sex and he felt like he owned me. The one thing that I can’t stand to this day is boys with a control issue. I was trying something new at that point. I was sick of pining away waiting around for Alex to get his shit together, so I started using boys for the physical the same way they’ve been doing to girls for centuries. This meant and means still, that boys who try to control me can’t be in the picture. He only lasted in my world for like two weeks after we had sex and I honestly never think about him.
Next was Cortez a 5'4" mixture of Black, Hawaiian, and Puerto Rican. He didn’t have an accent, but he did have five tattoos on his slim body, a full head of curly hair and an obsession with my ass. The first time I met him I liked him. Alex had pissed me off again, this time on a physical level. I came over his house one day and we slept together. But we didn’t have sex like I thought we were going to. I mean yeah he spent some time inside of me, but we didn’t have sex.
Everything was going fine; he kissed me, stripped me and then slid slowly inside of me. I breathed his name, and cried out when he bit me on my neck and arched my body upwards towards his. But then, things changed. He stopped, his whole body stiffened. Then he looked at me for a minute and pulled his body away from mine. After, I just sat there on his bed, naked. He left the room and went into the bathroom, I was stunned. When he came back into his room a couple of minutes later; I was in the same place. Then he cut on his light, and I looked at him confused.
"What are you doing?" I asked him as he grabbed his jeans off of the floor. He stayed silent. "I know you're not done," I joked with him.
He still didn’t say anything, he just kept getting dressed. I was getting angry.
"Alex I know for a fact that you can do better than this," I laughed.
He stayed silent, by then he was fully dressed.
"Fine," I started grabbing my things off of the floor.
He didn’t say anything the entire time I dressed, just stared at the floor. When I finished getting dressed, I looked at him. He was standing in his doorway with his hand on the knob. The door was open.
"You got to be fucking kidding me!" I screamed and then I stormed out of his room.
The night after his display of craziness, I asked Jaime for advice. Alex is his best friend and I hoped that he could give me some insight of what was going through Alex's head the night before.
"Well Damita maybe he’s still angry at you," he laughed.
"For what, I didn’t do anything to him," I pouted.
"Well he did say something about him being mad about that dude you were talking to a while ago."
"What does Miguel have to do with anything?"
"I don’t know. All I know is if I was Alex, one of the best ways I would think to get back at a girl is to embarrass her. There’s nothing more embarrassing than thinking you’re going to get your back banged out and instead getting fucked over and kicked out of the room," he answered with a laugh.
"You got to be fucking kidding me," I said shaking. It’s obvious that Jaime and Alex talked about exactly what he was going to do to me and why. I guess he thinks he has good reason since I'd slept with Miguel.
"I’m just saying, it’s what I would do," he finished quietly.
I thought about what he was saying. Could it be true that Alex had done something as sick as to halfway sleep with me? I was sick just thinking about it. I called Alli next, and he picked up instead of her. He didn’t sound embarrassed or confused. He didn’t sound cold or manipulative. He sounded normal, which made it worse. I chalked that Sunday night up to him getting revenge and just decided to drop it.
*
Dear Journal,
We had sex, well he spent a couple minutes inside of me, and then…I’m not sure what I'm supposed to believe? I mean his excuse was bullshit. I kind of believe Jaime’s explanation better than Alli’s. That maybe he was just trying to play me, just trying to get back at me for everything that happened with Miguel. I mean I was ready, I just wanted to feel him, one last time but he fucked it all up. I mean damn, the one day I don’t want anything from him but dick he taunts me, cums early and leaves me there on his bedroom floor confused as shit. Stupid asshole left me with a passion mark on my neck and a confused look on my face. What does this mean? Why would he do that? After everything that has happened, after all of the time he’s been nice to me these past couple weeks, him telling Alli that he will always think of me in a certain way. Why can’t he just be real? Why do I even care after what he’s done? I’m so sick of him manipulating me. And then when I finally talked to him, surprisingly after he picked up Alli’s cell phone and he sounded so normal, as if Sunday never happened. Where do I go from here? I mean times like this make me think of others. I wonder what’s up with Nicholas. I mean that mother can swell some lips! We’d make out forever. The thing is, even though he’s gifted in sexual things, he lacks in actual relationship things. I mean he takes my breath away when he kisses me. But I don’t understand how I can be so attracted physically to him and not know more about him. I mean we don’t have anything special, we’re just physical partners. And plus he’s being torturous. He just wants me to break so that he can turn me out, but we know that has never happened. He refuses to sleep with me, even when I throw myself shamelessly at him. Truth is, I know the perfect guy for me will have Miguel’s sweetness, Nicholas’ nastiness, Julian’s possession, and Alex’s love. Well, I still want to end up with Alex in the end. That’s stupid right? I know but the heart wants what it wants and I want him. I wish I could see him tonight, but I can’t. I’m kind of lonely, listening to music and thinking. Where’s my knight? When will I meet him, and have I already and just overlooked him?
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I met Jerome on a busy city street in Baltimore, Maryland, when he was forty-five years old. On that particular day, I was out and about, enjoying a much-needed day off from work.
I wanted to purchase a sukiyaki sub. I parked my car in an area of
Chapter One
Last night a friend of mine told me that my life is crazy and that I need to write a book about it. Well, considering the fact that I’m secretly falling in love with him, maybe he's right. His name is Santiago but I call him ATL because he's originally from the dirty dirty south. He's 18, and I met him like three months ago a little after my high school graduation. I was at work playing around when I walked up to the front desk of the restaurant and was mesmerized by his smile, and his eyes.
Then to be newsy I went over to where he was sitting with my manager to ask if they wanted a drink and I finally caught his eye. Those hazel eyes that are almost shielded by some of the longest eyelashes I've ever seen. God how they sparkle. Plus he's 6" tall, a redbone, with a curly low cut and about 250 pounds of teddy bear sexiness. He's an Aries so he has that arrogant fire that makes my heart flutter.
So, of course I tried to talk to him. IleanaI know that sounds bad, but given the fact that I’ve won that exact bet twice before with other boys, it wasn't much of a stretch. But he was different, he didn't react to my advances the same way other boys did. I mean I look good if I don't say so myself.
I'm 5’7", 17, born December 10, mocha brown, I'm thick as shit but I have a flat stomach. 36" 28 42" to be exact. My hips are wide, my ass is fat, and my boobs are firm and sit up nicely. My face is pretty, I keep my hair done due to the fact that my sister is a hair stylist and boys usually love the fact that I’m aggressive. But there was something different about Santiago. At first I thought it was just because he had a girlfriend. But then I found out that he was not only cheating on his girl with three others, but that he had a sexual past that could put mine to shame.
I just didn't get it, why wasn't he biting? I wanted to add him to my collection so to speak. After a while I got frustrated with the fact that I wasn't getting what I wanted. Especially considering the countless jokes Ileana had up her sleeve. Not only had I lost my bet, but to my distaste, I found out that ATL had cut off all of his Friends With Benefits, but he was to re-committing to his girl. This meant in one big F U blow to me, I wasn’t going to have him.
Still, the girl in me that is in love with the thought of love respected him for his decision to be faithful, and so I bid my hunt for him ado. I decided that instead of using him like I've used those other boys this past year and a half, I would be his friend. And since then we've become closer than I ever thought I could be with a boy without actually being in a relationship with them. I mean every night I spend hours pouring my soul out to him, not to mention the fact that we text all day long while I'm at school and he's at work or out with his boys. I mean he's such a good listener! And he gives great advice about everything. Even if it's harsh and painful, he tells me the real deal about everything. Because of those things the respect level I have for him is insane. I feel like we have the components of a relationship without all of the heartache. Problem is, I don't get the perks like kissing, being held by him, or of course, the sex!
I'm still not sure if he knows, if he can feel what I feel but he sure doesn’t act like it. I mean we do so many things together. We go out everywhere a couple goes, movies, dinners, bookstores, parks, plays. We’ve been at each other's houses just chilling time and time again and still nothing. I mean he probably saved my life the time we went to Six Flags and I almost drowned when the wave pool went over my head too many times. Not to mention the time we just walked around for like four hours. I mean we took a bus ride from South Philly to North and then walked back to South, just talking. Given, Alejandra was there, but she spent most of the time on the phone with her boyfriend. Sometimes I actually find myself dropping hints for him, or staring into his eyes and smiling too long just hoping he'd catch on. God boys are so stupid!
I thought in the beginning that it was just infatuation. Somehow I thought that I only liked him because he's sexy and tall. Given the fact that he's my exact type, it's not that much of a stretch. 6’, light skinned with curly hair and light brown eyes. He also has a gap in his teeth and a weird accent that's kind of a mixture of all the cities he's lived in. Philly, Cali, ATL and Houston. The boy got around. But you know what; it's not infatuation, its love. I know love when I feel it, I’ve felt it before.
I guess I just never thought I’d feel it again after Alejandro, after four years, but, I do. Alejandro, the love of my life, the man who gave me a bullet hole in my heart and then left, is in Kentucky right now halfway through his training. My heart is ARMY STRONG, or so he says in the letters to his little sister Alejandra, aka Alli, my best friend. He's built like some type of bronze Adonis at 5'11" 185 pounds. For him to be only 18 he's damn well built. Last week he left for basic training and started his job training, his job will be about artillery, weapons, danger, all that. He comes home in like four months and I’m not sure what to do or how I feel about him.
I mean after Alex and I broke up I had trouble feeling anything. My heart was completely closed off to everyone. Nothing is worse than that. To not be able to feel anything, to not be able to connect with the opposite sex because of the pain I went through was a fate worse than death. I felt like I wasn't even a woman. I could be lying in the arms of my boyfriend in the dark watching a movie, he could be whispering sweet things in my ear and I would feel nothing. I just want to walk into a room and see the boy I’m with and have my stomach flip. I used to have that with Alex, and now I can't even have it with ATL because of this damn friendship! But, I’m starting to feel again at least.
Still, there's always calm before the storm. I found out last week that my soldier has been getting continuous reports on me thanks to my best friend Alli and his best friend Jaime. They, the two most influential people in my life have been snitching me out to Alex all summer. He asks everything about me, who I’m dating, if I’ve kissed them, if I’ve fucked them, if I have feelings for them. And they have been very happy to oblige him. Why? I don't know. I mean I don’t even know why I’m so upset about the revelation of him being angry at me, or why I even care. The fact is, even though we haven't been together officially in a long time, he still feels like I’m his.
I don’t know why I feel this way when I’ve had other boys. It’s just something about him though. None of those other boys have ever touched me the way he has. Not that there have been a lot. It was Alex, Jose, Miguel, Cortez, Juan, Luis, Antonio and then Darius. Eight boys in six years. Alex of course was my first. We were broken up for an entire year before I got with Jose. He was a cutie, but he was more into me than I was with him. Miguel came at the beginning of last year. He was this sexy boy that worked at my job with me.
He was goofy, and cute, and he took my mind off of Alex for a while. That is until we had sex and he felt like he owned me. The one thing that I can’t stand to this day is boys with a control issue. I was trying something new at that point. I was sick of pining away waiting around for Alex to get his shit together, so I started using boys for the physical the same way they’ve been doing to girls for centuries. This meant and means still, that boys who try to control me can’t be in the picture. He only lasted in my world for like two weeks after we had sex and I honestly never think about him.
Next was Cortez a 5'4" mixture of Black, Hawaiian, and Puerto Rican. He didn’t have an accent, but he did have five tattoos on his slim body, a full head of curly hair and an obsession with my ass. The first time I met him I liked him. Alex had pissed me off again, this time on a physical level. I came over his house one day and we slept together. But we didn’t have sex like I thought we were going to. I mean yeah he spent some time inside of me, but we didn’t have sex.
Everything was going fine; he kissed me, stripped me and then slid slowly inside of me. I breathed his name, and cried out when he bit me on my neck and arched my body upwards towards his. But then, things changed. He stopped, his whole body stiffened. Then he looked at me for a minute and pulled his body away from mine. After, I just sat there on his bed, naked. He left the room and went into the bathroom, I was stunned. When he came back into his room a couple of minutes later; I was in the same place. Then he cut on his light, and I looked at him confused.
"What are you doing?" I asked him as he grabbed his jeans off of the floor. He stayed silent. "I know you're not done," I joked with him.
He still didn’t say anything, he just kept getting dressed. I was getting angry.
"Alex I know for a fact that you can do better than this," I laughed.
He stayed silent, by then he was fully dressed.
"Fine," I started grabbing my things off of the floor.
He didn’t say anything the entire time I dressed, just stared at the floor. When I finished getting dressed, I looked at him. He was standing in his doorway with his hand on the knob. The door was open.
"You got to be fucking kidding me!" I screamed and then I stormed out of his room.
The night after his display of craziness, I asked Jaime for advice. Alex is his best friend and I hoped that he could give me some insight of what was going through Alex's head the night before.
"Well Damita maybe he’s still angry at you," he laughed.
"For what, I didn’t do anything to him," I pouted.
"Well he did say something about him being mad about that dude you were talking to a while ago."
"What does Miguel have to do with anything?"
"I don’t know. All I know is if I was Alex, one of the best ways I would think to get back at a girl is to embarrass her. There’s nothing more embarrassing than thinking you’re going to get your back banged out and instead getting fucked over and kicked out of the room," he answered with a laugh.
"You got to be fucking kidding me," I said shaking. It’s obvious that Jaime and Alex talked about exactly what he was going to do to me and why. I guess he thinks he has good reason since I'd slept with Miguel.
"I’m just saying, it’s what I would do," he finished quietly.
I thought about what he was saying. Could it be true that Alex had done something as sick as to halfway sleep with me? I was sick just thinking about it. I called Alli next, and he picked up instead of her. He didn’t sound embarrassed or confused. He didn’t sound cold or manipulative. He sounded normal, which made it worse. I chalked that Sunday night up to him getting revenge and just decided to drop it.
*
Dear Journal,
We had sex, well he spent a couple minutes inside of me, and then…I’m not sure what I'm supposed to believe? I mean his excuse was bullshit. I kind of believe Jaime’s explanation better than Alli’s. That maybe he was just trying to play me, just trying to get back at me for everything that happened with Miguel. I mean I was ready, I just wanted to feel him, one last time but he fucked it all up. I mean damn, the one day I don’t want anything from him but dick he taunts me, cums early and leaves me there on his bedroom floor confused as shit. Stupid asshole left me with a passion mark on my neck and a confused look on my face. What does this mean? Why would he do that? After everything that has happened, after all of the time he’s been nice to me these past couple weeks, him telling Alli that he will always think of me in a certain way. Why can’t he just be real? Why do I even care after what he’s done? I’m so sick of him manipulating me. And then when I finally talked to him, surprisingly after he picked up Alli’s cell phone and he sounded so normal, as if Sunday never happened. Where do I go from here? I mean times like this make me think of others. I wonder what’s up with Nicholas. I mean that mother can swell some lips! We’d make out forever. The thing is, even though he’s gifted in sexual things, he lacks in actual relationship things. I mean he takes my breath away when he kisses me. But I don’t understand how I can be so attracted physically to him and not know more about him. I mean we don’t have anything special, we’re just physical partners. And plus he’s being torturous. He just wants me to break so that he can turn me out, but we know that has never happened. He refuses to sleep with me, even when I throw myself shamelessly at him. Truth is, I know the perfect guy for me will have Miguel’s sweetness, Nicholas’ nastiness, Julian’s possession, and Alex’s love. Well, I still want to end up with Alex in the end. That’s stupid right? I know but the heart wants what it wants and I want him. I wish I could see him tonight, but I can’t. I’m kind of lonely, listening to music and thinking. Where’s my knight? When will I meet him, and have I already and just overlooked him?
