Waiting for funds

I was half downcast in the hostel’s room of A Lanzada’s beach, waiting once more my parent’s calling and asking how were things and telling me they were not going to send me money, that in fact I did not need much or I shouldn’t need anything, that they had given me even more than what they had to. I had already rang them up the day before and I had asked them how they were and they to me how I was and I to them had said I was in a tight and they to me not to tell them tales, that we would speak about it, that it was not good moment, that they would ring me up next day. And the truth is I dared not to ringing them up, although I had no other if they should not ring me up in the evening, because I might not let time go by any longer, and even so I was almost sure that this time, having done merits myself and having been patient them during the three months my parents would let me handle by myself as I could. I knew I would finally get out from the tight, like always in limit situations, because the family gives up at last and though in a bad mood they ask you how much, they say it will have to be half, and this after being convinced of our parent’s out themselves from the business irremediably and an almost unendurable same all stuff some minutes long in which shines all kind of appellations until they rang off after saying Last time, or Come on, always the same, you seem clumsy.

            But I was neither so sure about anything that day, nor I could ringing them up joyfully inventing stories, to myself they sounded very difficult to digest all I had had invented already, and though I also sharpened my wits in case there would be a possibility of moving some of my brothers, and once more they were my bankers-brothers too, I was putting aside for suspicious all them I thought of.

            So complicated I saw the situation this time that knowing I had to do other instead of putting the hero of the short story I was writing into a money’s tight not by chance, I decided to go to have a walk on the beach. Sometimes happens, nearly always not expecting it, never supposing it is going to happen to you because you deserve it or you are in search of it, but sometimes happens and it would be even possible if having a walk on the beach I had a lucky strike, which in fact nobody knows when they appear. Thinking I could succeed in some way to come out of the tight completely and in order not to lose time uselessly it occurred to me some ideas to put into practise when walking on the beach in search of miraculous rescuers. From the distance I could hear the rumour of the beach plenty of sunbathers at midday on a Sunday. When I reached the beach I had a look at the sunbathers groups of women and I at once saw that in a not too distant beach’s spot there were several sunbathers groups same as I was interested in. My plan was as follows: Make a halt beside the first group of two or three alone sunbathers and after greeting them and trying to be agreeable with some convenient comment which should move them to smile and to pay attention, start a string impossible to have studied to favour the opportunity of aiming at first attempt and stop going from one place to another.

            I soon realised the kinship the three girls under the big sunshade of showy colours that could never be shrill had: Soul friends. They were sitting on their three towels under their sunshade. I went near them and said Hello. Hello, the three said. It’s good today, yes indeed, nice weather, I said. The three of them looked at me expectant. Well, I was writing a short story in my room and the protagonist, a hero of mine, has got into money problems and I left it like that until I’m back again to the story. They gazed at me and smiled. I know it will be easy to take him out of money problems, but being things as they are and being money so important, I hope he won’t mind my walking on the beach and my taking him out of money problems later. They were listening attentively. When I realised, I continued, that it was clear that I by large had more problems than him because such is what sometimes is awaiting us, and that he would be out at all in the next line, I felt envious of him, a lot in fact, and I said to myself it was I who had to loose from the tight. Two and half laughed. The one who laughed half, sitting in the middle, said: Well, so we have company! And, besides, she said after, someone to do business with, is it not? Well, it depends, I said at once. Why not? asked enigmatically the same one half smiling. What kind of business would you suggest? I asked. What is your proposal? asked me finally another, the one on my left. To my surprise I saw they were waiting for something more, and it was as if a door had opened in heaven to have something new in mind instead of the family’s telling off and the certitude of being the only one at a hostel in summer holidays from where he finally goes after having asked for a loan not even having settled the account. It would be a big business, I said then in a whisper so that nobody else could hear me. Which one? wanted to know the one sitting in the middle whispering also. Very easy, I replied whispering too, you give me the keys of your rooms if by chance you are at a hotel near and while you keep on staying here on the beach I will come into the other rooms and I will burgle the safes if there are any, because I need to pay for my hostel’s room. You cannot be in earnest, said the one half laugh half smile rising a little bit the volume of her voice. Yes, I am in earnest, I said with a voice audible to them only. They waited for me to go on. I do not belong to the underworld but I have no other since I have to pay the bill and have no money, and you must admit there are a lot of people who do not make good use of it. We do, said a little bit emphatically the third in speaking, the one on the right, actually. I knew it, of course I did, I said. How did you? asked the last in speaking, the one who assured they knew. I knew, I said, because I had in mind my short story protagonist’s girlfriend, who knows as well. I waited for her to go on asking. I knew she was going to. Does she know to make use of money or does she know we do? and we four and someone else burst out laughing.

            You know already why this is not a casual encounter, I said still helping myself to recover. Well, we do not, said the one in the middle who had half laughed half smiled, now smiling openly. A reckoning of probabilities can determine they are a few, but some of the people who make a halt to speak with misses sunbathing on the beach are involved in safes business. I realised the idea did not fit to them and they did not expect it either. Well, I said whispering, had it been the case, we could probably have a plan. I need money. Do you? asked the one in the middle. I need money, yes, true , I said. Then added at last the same one, the one who had half laughed half smiled, smiled openly after, the one in the middle, so much loud she could be heard from the other beach’s extreme. Do you need money now? The question took me by surprise, but I reacted promptly: Not now, I said, and rapidly, on second thoughts I said: I need it for tomorrow. It was then when someone not in our sunshade friendship’s circle laughed gibberish. 

            Well, I said, what can we do about it? After all the most important cannot and must not ever to be money, I said after and they looked at me while I did as best as I could to come off from the bewilderment. It is horribly hot, I said then changing the subject and alleviating the weight of the last question and the licentious laughter. They glanced at me distractedly, even distractedly on purpose. One must never forget his cap to protect from the sun, before all when it is so much hot. They glanced at me with renovated attention, questioningly, not waiting surely a trivial conversation about summer rigours. We all knew I was feigning, but I had no other. What one has to do is to take a sunshade with him, and if he hasn’t got any at least don’t forget the cap, I said after. They knew I was going to say something more, and the three of them half smiled on seeing I could not hide I was going to make use of witticisms to save myself.

            Because after a time walking on the beach without a cap as I do now, the truth is, I cannot deny it, one is all the time thinking the best to do would be asking someone with a sunshade if you could sit under, to not to suffocate and alleviate for a while at least. I thought to myself they were still thinking about safes. They knew I hadn’t finished yet. And if there is nobody under the sunshade, make use of it as long as you can, until you cannot no more, because you are tired already or they are keeping you away from it. They laughed at it heartily and looked at me with sympathy and tenderness even. I didn’t know who had laughed so ostentatiously a few moments ago; that is, I knew where somebody had laughed and I could make out figures very near, but I hadn’t bothered to ascertain who.

            There were two lady-like women under an umbrella matching yellow and orange very near ours looking at us with curiosity, one of them smiling slightly, the other with a visible rictus hiding something. But you won’t go yourself under any if you see it is occupied, said this last intervening. Well, if I see it is occupied I would not openly, I said looking at her not as an intruder but rather on the contrary, as though it was understandable she too needed to intervene. Unless, I said, I could not stand it any longer. Wow, said again the half embittered one, and what if you cause annoyance whatever the hotness you suffer and you should not? The three from the first sunshade were laughing and the one who was with the one who was asking me too. Not letting me respond and not knowing what I would do if I caused annoyance or I should not, she asked again at once: What for you need the money? As I was waiting something similar it didn’t take me by surprise and I reacted immediately. It is not a mystery; I have to pay what I owe at the hostel. Don’t you have a job? You have not estimated how much you had to pay? Or you have had extra expenses, have lost money at the casino or just simply have come without it, thinking someone of your family or someone like us would help you to pay your hostel’s bill?, the talkative one went on asking. We were six already involved in the conversation; only one of the new two had not said a word. The case is I am waiting for funds, same as the protagonist of a short story I am writing at present. Between her teeth the talkative one said something to the other one and it could be heard the other one saying: He is nice. What was missing! exclaimed the one of the sermon. Today I am worried about it, I said, but it won’t take longer to get back to normality. Only I am nearly desperate, I went on saying, trying to come away out of it.  

You must know you don’t succeed always, said the talkative one after. I belong to the gang of people under the same circumstances, of people who write and gets in a tight often because we are poor. One must not trust in anybody! exclaimed again. I am in a tight because I’ve spent too much time letting days go by, although waiting something extraordinary to happen. Was it money falling from the sky? she insisted. It was not, of course, I said, though it would be helpful, yes indeed, I said after. Ha, ha, ha, laughed the four of them lest the one insisting. So, she said, you made a halt by the misses’ sunshade to tell them right away you are in need of money... For sure, I said, you might yet get involved yourself in mistaken true intentions; I was only telling them what happened to my short story’s hero... She seemed interested in my continuing and I thought she had listened to me but had not when I whispered and she wanted to know. You haven’t listened to all I have spoken with these misses, had you had you would know my intention was to have a nice time in company, and it is true , I cannot deny it, I know that one might expect some deed or some situation surprising or wonderful, why not, a lucky strike.  I looked at the three and they smiled. And I went on saying: If you want to know, I may not say no, later I lost my head and finished by asking them for their rooms’ keys... Well, not really, I did not do that... though, well, yes, yes, I think so, in fact I did, I told them in jest I could break into the nearest rooms to theirs if they had a room, and take away all the safes contents I would find out. The three laughed and the talkative friend laughed too and the talkative shammed her rictus of bitterness gazing at me fixedly. By then there were a lot of sunbathers pending about our conversation. I realised that suddenly some of the listeners glanced at us kind of alarmed. A didn’t let a second pass and repeated: In jest, of course.

            If you want to become successfully, you will have no other than to implore a nun or a marchioness, it was heard from another lady-like woman that, it was clear, was the one who had laughed before, and that was accompanied by another lady-like woman although less lady-like than her, and that were under a purple with white stripes sunshade. By chance are you a nun or marchioness? I asked. Perhaps you are any or other or both and in need to be implored. She kept silence kind of in surprise. If you have hinted something with intention, I ask myself why it may be, I went on saying, because one must not lose its time but be beneficiary in some way, lest economically, of course, that it is not well seen, but spirituality essentially. And if not, one must at least take advantage of time, of time especially, and never talk just to talk.

            Yes indeed the speech is ready! What innocence! exclaimed the last in speaking. Well, I said, I would never start by asking if some nun or marchioness would like to speak about philosophy and finish by asking for keys, were them nuns or marchionesses or both and not even when there would not be no philosophy. At the end this boy will lend us money!, said at last the one who hadn’t said a word, the one from the last sunshade, the one not so lady-like woman as her companion. Then I spoke to them all, though especially to them three. At the hostel, I said, I thought at least I could have an entertainment while walking on the beach, knowing very well it was something dealing with my time issues, and why or what for, but what has become a fixed idea in my mind is the money I owe appearing somewhere at sight and it is just the same problem the protagonist of the short story I am writing at present has. He is a kind of a hero for me. I must admit I would never have thought of seeing him involved with safes. Then some listeners panicked again, they looked at us hiding, suspecting of me or suspecting of others they darted between them suspicious glances. Nevertheless quieter it became when I laughed aloud sonorously and some thought they could understand or they did understand.

            What can we do? asked the same one, the last is speaking, it was her turn again. We remained silent. The one who had said they knew how to make good use of money asked me gaily: So you write stories? Yes, I do, I replied at once, nearly enthusiastically going right away to fetch the pages I had written in the summer and showing them up to that girl in particular. Although my characters are usually not in a tight same as me, I said smiling to the girl. All of them burst out laughing and I took advantage to ask them just to see what the girl’s reaction was: Do you know what happened to my hero in a situation similar to this? What? asked at once the girl. It was happily her turn again. He asked the girls to be given a number, I explained. There was silence for a few moments, although we were at the mercy regarding to sounds to the rumour of a thronged beach on a good weather Sunday.

Did you say a number? asked the girl. I am curious about that, she said after, smiling openly and what I thought was inner chuckle. Well, he says to them he wanted to have a number in mind. What for? asked the most lady-like woman clearing her throat too intentionally. What happens next? the girl went on asking. Well, my hero says to them he would like to come back to his hostel accompanied or he would wait in his room but with a number in mind. What then? What happens next? asked again the girl I was so delighted to be talking to. I found my way to successfully finishing the tale just remembering what I had not written in fact, but an idea I had had to write at that moment: My hero says that in the event of being not bold enough the girl of his fancy, who she should know by then who she was, for the circumstances whatever, he would like to know the number of her room to go later to. Well, I would give you the number, said the nicer one from the second sunshade. And the nicer from the third said: I certainly would with thousands of love, yes indeed. Well, you may have fun cheating me and giving me not your room’s number but another of your friends just to laugh at it among you, but I should not stand here while the plot is taking shape and I think I have fallen in love, my hero said to them.

You’ll see! We shall have to go with him finally! exclaimed while laughing the girl I was spelled by. I was surprised by his funny comment, I didn’t expect it, and I think it was obvious I liked the girl, much really, and it might be seen I had especially laughed. My eyes became cloudy with emotion. She noticed this and asked me knowing my heart was hers: Did the girl of his fancy let him know her room’s number? I thought for an instant and then responded: They understood each other, there was no need. Our glances tangled up under the spell.

So, I said, I will feign to go to lunch, but I am not going away before telling you I had not studied a drivel, I had to improvise when I spoke about safes and it is not because I say it just for saying, I saw the expression of your agreeable faces reflected not hypnotization, a great delight or enchantment, that it shouldn’t have to be expected just by itself, but some kind of light no doubt that didn’t keep you up pending of listening a comment about weather or even about your sunshades, but in what you could do to solve a money’s problem dealing with safes and this says a lot in your favour. They all laughed.

So, I went on saying, I am very grateful to you for such a nice welcome, so much I was determined to be capable of being not possible to me a glimpse of concentration in anything more inner, close or in the world that would have to do with money, even when the situation is what it is, but only and exclusively to feel marvelled by beautiful girls and just simply, why not, a lucky strike by the way. Then I had half turned as though I was going away already and had made a gesture with my hand to all them when I heard her voice: Are you going already?

I hadn’t turned my back completely and I said No, I can’t go away now, looking at the girl interested in what happens in stories, the one I wanted to be linked to. She was smiling and I smiled too. I am going to the dunes, I said to her. May I be waiting for you to come? I asked her after. She gestured to me she would. Nice to have met you, so long, I said to them. She held up my gaze knowing things were not going to finish like that, as I knew too, and I went slowly towards the dunes and twice I looked backwards smiling to her. I lied down on the dunes paying attention to what was happening. She was talking with her friends and sometimes she smiled to me from the distance and we exchanged some mimic until she came up to where I was and asked with kind of accomplice chuckle: Are you waiting for funds? Waiting for funds? I asked in turn while we kissed each other’s cheeks. I never wait for funds, I have just invented it, I said. What’s your name? I asked her. Alejandra, she said. Mine is Leopoldo.

            I could not go away under any circumstances, because I felt the need to be linked to you, the need, I said to her. She peering into my eyes and smiling. You are very nice, I like you very much and I feel as if I wanted to hug you up for a long time, I said. She smiled. May I? OK, she said. We hugged very tight for a good while and I caressed and kissed her hair and her cheeks and then her lips for a long time. Shall we sit down? I asked. We may be lying for a while here so as to be near my friends, she said. If it were the evening we may be together for a time, but it is too early and not good moment to run away now, I mean, I cannot... she said keeping silence for an instant while we lie down. I let her speak to see what it turned out. After a few moments hesitation she said jovially: Well, if you are in the situation as you painted it, it may happen to anybody, it is not grave. I know it is not, I said, I will come out of it some way or other, which is something that may happen to my hero because I would not let him fall bankrupt but successfully always. She laughed and said interrupting me: You are lucky you write stories; it is a very good entertainment. For sure it is, I said, although we are a large gang the ones who write and are poor. I have not much, but something I have to lend you, she said. What? I asked. I cannot consent, I said. Really, she insisted. Well, my love, the truth is it is quite painful to have to stand my brothers same old-stuff, which makes me blush, and what it shall be more painful is my mother’s serious countenance when everything clears out, which will make me blush again. As though it is not enough, I will have no other but ask Carmen, the hostel’s owner, for a loan if my brothers fail me, for I need a certain amount from my departure to the month’s end, and I will go blushed when the moment comes... Take notice of how much it is so painful only imagining it, that I have even mentioned safes. We both laughed. An easy strike would keep me out from blushing at all and I wouldn’t have to face not knowing what to say.

I laughed and stared at her and she stared at me tenderly, smiled and came nearer to reach my lips. You know, I went on saying, my hero is a good and honest writer, and also he is poor. So I shall have the opportunity of reading your stories? Of course, you shall, my love, after the evening is passed. We laughed and kissed again. And if it turns out it is lie? I asked. What do you mean? Is it all a lie? she asked laughing and enquiring with her eyes. What do you prefer? Be a lie? Not a lie? We both laughed heartily. Then I took up the sides of her face between my hands and I brought her nearer to me and I kissed her a good while and later we hugged and lingered so, and after this I made her see mimicking why I had spent three months on the beach, why I had come with little money anyway, why sometimes I depended on loans same as my hero and others of the gang, why I wasn’t too worried and faced well the blushes, I made her see the truth, that I longed for a woman who was my girlfriend too always, and finally why last day I didn’t want to go away either... In fact I was not going away. Alejandra.