"I didn't murder her. I killed her. It was an accident. Her door was closed. Locked. Like it often was. I knocked. She didn't answer. I beat on the door. She still didn't answer. I panicked. She always answered. Sometimes, she said, 'No,' and that was enough. But this time, she didn't answer. So I kicked in the door. You know, one of those flimsy plywood doors cheap houses like mine have. The damn door broke in half. Her bed was up against the door and it hit her in the head--hard. I crawled through the broken door and saw that she was bleeding from her forehead badly. And, she wasn't breathing. I called 911 and tried to give her CPR. She didn't respond.
"I went in the ambulance with her to the hospital. I had blood all over me but didn't care. They said she died almost instantly from the blow… A concussion followed by internal brain hemorrhaging. The cut on her forehead wasn't the cause of her death. It was blunt trauma from the door. I cried. Two days later, the police picked me up and put me in here. I don't know why? I didn't do anything.
Court-appointed attorney: "Her bed was up against the door and it was locked? You didn't kill her? Tell me your story."
"Well, it goes back a long way. She was a nympho. I guess what you would call, sex addicted. I went along with it. I had to.
"It was in high school and we were 16. She was beautiful, smart and popular. I was doing pretty well with my classes and an average athlete in high school sports, headed for college. I liked her, but the jocks were always hanging around her, a cheerleader. Seemed to love to show her panties whenever she could in that cheerleader outfit.
"Anyway, I got up enough courage to ask her out to a movie. She said she couldn't, because she had to babysit for her younger brother and sister while her parents went out that night, but I could come over and help her watch the kids. I was surprised that she was so eager to date me, and glad that she did. I arrived at 7 pm like she told me and her parents were already gone.
"We put her younger brother and sister to bed about about 8:30 and then sat on the couch watching TV. It was my first date with her, so I sat a little apart and shared some popcorn and some cokes we got from the kitchen.
"It wasn't long before she inched her way closer and was up against my side with her warmth penetrating me like a aphrodisiac and I found myself putting my left arm over her shoulders so she could snuggle in. Suddenly, the TV show we were watching disappeared from our minds. She had on one of those soft angora sweaters that accented her boobs. I was afraid to kiss her, so I just tried to avoid looking at those boobs so warmly close and felt myself stirring down there, hoping she didn't see."
"This is a long story, Sir. But what does it have to do with your murdering… Excuse me… You killing your wife?"
"Bear with me. I haven't told anyone this before. It's time that I did. Where was I… Oh, to my surprise she reached over and took my right hand, not to hold it, but to place it on her left breast. Where she pushed it down like she wanted me to feel her up. So I started feeling that breast. The first one I ever felt and found that there was no bra underneath and it was one of the most fantastic things I ever felt. While I was infatuated with her before, suddenly I was in love!
"So, we started necking and feeling each other with our clothes on. I found my hand up under her sweater and massaging those beautiful bare boobs and her kissing me in a way that I had never experienced kissing before. And, she played a lot with me at the same time. It was wonderful but that's as far as we went. We heard a car door slam and straightened up. Her parents came home. They staggered in, drunk. She introduced me to them and I went home. My mother complained that it was so late, but I explained that we were babysitting and had to wait until her parents got home."
"So… Once again… What does this have to do with the killing?"
"Well, we didn't have any real dates. She just kept inviting me over every few days when her parents went out and she babysat. I'm sure she went out with other guys but we never went out together. Like these things always do, we escalated until we were mutually masturbating. She giggled and liked to taste it whenever I came. Eventually, she wanted more and we had unprotected sex because… Well, just because.
"My mother kept complaining about me coming home after 2 am and I kept lying to her about what I was doing. I didn't tell her that they were alcoholics and sometimes stayed out until the bars closed.
"It was on the sixth or seventh babysitting day like this that we were going at it hot and heavy and I was just about to come inside her while she was begging me to, when we didn't hear the car door and her parents came in on us early. When they saw what we were doing, they seemed shocked and we were both sat down after we got dressed separately while they called my folks.
"There was a lot of arguing about, 'Your son has been having unprotected sex with my daughter!' My mother crying about, 'my son.' The upshot was they were afraid she would be pregnant and that I would have to marry her. I was okay with that because by that time I was madly in love with her.
"There was a small weekend ceremony and our honeymoon was when I borrowed my dad's car and we spent the rest of the weekend in a local motel. On Monday morning it was back to high school. It was embarrassing, so only a few kids knew we were married. My plans for college were shot because I had to go to work and get us a small apartment. She went to work right after high school, too.
"During our honeymoon, my sweetheart… Er… Wife confessed to me that I wasn't her first. She said she started having sex when she was about 13 having been molested earlier and loved it a lot. She said that she loved me and would stay with me but she didn't know if she could only have sex with me. Since I was still naïve about this whole thing, I told her that I understood and would stay by her. So I did.
"We didn't have any children. I guess that was because of her having sex so early. Every once in a while, she would see a guy she liked and tell me she was going to make a move on him. Most of the time those guys were agreeable. She told me I could watch or even participate. After a while, it got old so I didn't. Some of those guys would continue to bother her so we tended to move a lot. Still, I stood by her, and once in a while, we still had good sex and a good relationship, otherwise. We both worked and shared expenses. When she got diseases, we went to the doctor right away and she got them cured. Thankfully, she never got HIV-positive.
"Lately though, we couldn't escape the guys that we've been meeting at the local bars who kept coming over at all hours of the night and knocking on the door. Long ago, we started sleeping in separate bedrooms so that I could get some sleep and she could entertain.
"Where was I… So, we started to leave the front door open and those guys would come in quietly and knock on her door. The two nights before the accident, there were a steady stream of guys and she had to get up early and work both days. The only thing I could figure was that she was dead tired and couldn't call them all to call them off, so she locked her door, moved the bed up against it and fell asleep, exhausted.
"After three guys knocked on my door, waking me up, saying that she wasn't answering the door, I told them to 'shove off' and they left. Well, I got concerned for her and that's when it happened… That's when I started knocking on the door myself. That's when I did it! I killed her!
"The prosecutor says you are a cockholded husband wife killer. I'll see if I can formulate a defense from your statement. Can't promise you anything, but I'll try." The court appointed attorney turned off his recorder and left the holding cell.
Copyright 2016 © Ronald W. Hull
8/25/16
