Canada-US Border © History.com

“Eh,” pronounced, "A," is an often used Canadian expression tacked on the end of statements as a verification or affirmative like “yes,” or “you know” or “you see.”

Arnie and Shorty are childhood friends who now lead their professional lives with a business in Toronto and with the government in Ottawa. Every summer they try to get together to fish at Arnie's family's private lake in northern Ontario. They have to fly in, it is so remote.

The vista from the cabin or anywhere on the lake is idyllic, pristine, primal. Dense evergreens offset by white birch trunks lining crystal clear waters reflecting deep blue sky. At any time one can see a black bear foraging for berries, a moose in the shallows or a loon taking half of the lake to take off like an overladen jetliner. Osprey and eagle glide above and can be seen diving for fish near the surface. Squirrels chatter in the trees and birds flit about their lives chirping and tweeting messages to each other. No finer place on earth… nor colder… it was 4°C (40°F) overnight and will only get up to 18°C (65°F) today even though it's near mid-summer. But the mosquitoes are thriving and it takes a very bright sun to drive them away.

Arnie and Shorty, after the binge last night upon their arrival, only got on the lake about 1 pm when it had warmed up enough and the mosquitoes had fled the sunlight so mosquito netting was no longer required to fish. Northern pike and walleye were waiting in the frigid depths to be caught.

The canoe was small and tippy, but it was the preferred way of fishing for the old friends as they paddled out to a known hot spot where they could catch big pike. As they started fishing, conversation commenced.

“Those Americans, they sure are crazy. Eh?" Now that they were out on the lake, Arnie could get the latest scuttlebutt from the government from Shorty. Couldn't talk about it in the cabin. The women hated politics. Wouldn't allow it. Wouldn't ya know.

“Eh. Sure are. Puttin' a wall up between us and them all the way to the West Coast? Craziest thing I ever heard of. The guys in Parliament don't know what to advise the PM.”

“Is it true that the Yanks are saying that we're too liberal taking all these castoffs and giving them sanctuary?

“Eh. Some say that we are taking all the educated, smart ones and leaving all those criminals and Mexicans behind. Some truth in it. Don't know of any Mexican that likes the weather up here.”

“I also heard that they think that we are letting all those terrorists travel here, saying that they are tourists and that they are coming across the border all across the West with nothing but prairie and mountains to stop them. Regular invasion. Eh?”

“Eh. the damnedest thing is they want us to pay for that wall. Sayin' it's our fault that all those terrorists are leaking into their lower 48. Yeah, like all those comics and musicians of ours that end up in New York City or Hollywood. Like they are terrorists or something.” Shorty chuckled and shook his head. "Like Saturday Night Live. Full of subversive Canadian terrorists."

“Geez, I got one!” There was very loud splash on the end of Arnie's line and conversation stopped while he fought the big pike. It was about 10 minutes while the fish pulled the canoe around the lake and he got in position so that Shorty could net it. Looked to be about (pronounced aboot) 37 inches…. 

With the fish secured over the side on a stringer to keep it alive, the two buddies made a bet as to who would catch the largest fish and popped a can of Molson's finest to celebrate having caught supper and to hydrate. Regardless, it was time anyway.

"These fish. They can't raise enough of them down there and want us to send them all we got wall or no wall. Near cleaned out all the walleyes. I hear that Great Slave Lake ships fish out of there by the ton. Soon there won't be any fish left except in places like this, Eh?" Arnie had a look of disgust as he spit in the water on it.

"Yeah, and they want all our oil from the tar sands. Buildin’ pipelines to get it down there faster. Already messing up our climate up here. Trappin' goin’ to hell. Animals' all confused. And they always want more. Eh?" Shorty swatted a deer fly that landed on his arm. "Dammit!"

Artie resumed the wall conversation. "I'd sure like to see how they would put up a wall down the middle of the Great Lakes. Eh? In some places the water is a half-mile deep. And in some places you could paddle this canoe across in 15-20 minutes. Hell, at Niagara you could cross in a barrel!"

Shorty had just taken a big gulp from his can. There was a sneezing sound as beer shot out of his mouth and nostrils and he went into a coughing fit. Recovering and wiping the mess off his face with the sleeve of his jacket, Shorty finally, retorted, "Dammit, Arnie, why'd you have to go tell a joke like that when I'm drinking beer!" He then fell into a fit of laughing again.

It was Shorty's time to question the sanity. "Okay, so they put up a wall all the way from Lake Superior to the Pacific where it's mostly prairie. Eh? So you got a buffalo or two in Manitoba that travels south across the border every year into North Dakota. What do you do about that? Put a tunnel under the fence so that buffalo, deer, elk, wolves, foxes, badgers, prairie dogs, wolverines and the like can migrate and seek out new territory whenever they want to? Eh?"

Arnie had to get a zinger in. "So those towel heads can sneak across the border with all those animals, probably in an animal suit to look like a buffalo as they pass the cameras. And freeze their Arab asses off in the process… mosquito bitten to hell." Shorty was ready and had already swallowed his beer so he could snigger with Arnie.

"And it would be open season for them on both sides of the border. Eh?"

"Sure would… Wait, just got another strike. This one's gotta be bigger than the last one!" After a 20 minute battle this one only figured to be 36 inches. It was time to head back in and get the fish cleaned for supper. Arnie won the bet.  Shorty complaining all the way, paid up.

The women were quite pleased to see the two big northern pike being filleted. There would be enough to put in the solar powered freezer for a couple more meals. But there was nothing like fresh fish. At the end of the week they'd take frozen fish back with them to the cities to the envy of their coworkers.

Madge called out to Arnie… "What did you guys talk about out there today?"

"Oh, nothing much. Hockey and the wall that's all." Arnie realized his mistake as Shorty glared at him. Clenching his fillet knife.

"What wall, Honey?"

"Oh, you know, that wall their going to put up around the perimeter of the rink to keep those pucks from hitting the spectators like they have been doin’."

"Guess it would be safer that way. But I don't know why they hadn't done it before if it was so dangerous?"

After that Arnie and Shorty said nothing. Letting sleeping dogs lie. Time to fry up these fish and eat, eh.

Copyright 2017 © Ronald W. Hull

3/6/17