Short Story About a man who fought a battle with alcohol
Herbert The Hermit
By Paul McCann
I had just graduated as a registered nurse in my chosen field in Mental Health and just moved into an upstairs flat in an old three storey Georgian home near to the hospital where I had been offered a job . . I was happy and at peace with life after a long relationship had fizzled out . It had been 5 years since the day she walked away and 4 years since I began my studies in nursing .
Out of the blue one afternoon I heard this voice calling for help . I did as anybody would have done and rushed to help . The voice came from one of the rooms on the ground floor of the building , so I made my way down the old oak staircase and then in through a door that was left hanging by one hinge to the door frame .
I looked around the flat and found an old man lying there on the floor unable to get to feet . He said his name was Herbert and there in the dimly lit room I could smell the reeking stench of alcohol and suspected Herbert had been a heavy drinker most of his life . Even as he lay there with blood everywhere he still clung to the bottle in his hand ,.
As a mental health nurse I rendered assistance to him emotionally , physically and psychologically .As I checked his wounds and assessed his overall situation I was able to diagnose his state of mind and called for an ambulance . He was in need of detox and proper nutrition and support in other areas of his life .’Herbert was a sad excuse of a man who had become cranky and abusive and during the time wee waited for the ambulance to arrive he had decided to launch into a barrage of abusive name dropping of which I was quite accustomed to in my line of work .
I was able to help Herbert to his feet and sat him on a chair at a small table in his flat As I opened the curtains the sunlight was having an issue streaming through the dirt on the window . The room itself was filthy with empty bottles lying all over the wooden floor . I began to get a picture of Herbert’s problem as he started to tell me more about himself . Here and there were a few photos in frames of him with a wife and children .
It was the summer of 1989 when fate had decided to introduce Herbert into my life and the fact was Herbert had been abandoned by his wife ten years ago .
I assume that his poor wife had taken just about all she could and could take no more so walked out the door .
Was it just by chance or destiny I stumbled upon this lonely old man ?
I hoped that I would never end up the same way as Herbert , angry with life and everyone . Herbert’s story is only one in of many I could tell you .
Herbert was a thin man with a baby face . His Irish complexion seemed slightly deceiving with the tracks of hardness written all over his dirty unshaven face .
Somewhere buried deep inside of him I knew there was a good man , a family man , a family man , a different man when he was on the wagon . The sad reality was that I was being confronted by Mr Hyde in the horror scene of a movie . Herbert was now fuelled with alcohol and Herbert wasn’t able to reason that well . At this point in his life Herbert was not someone who enjoyed the social scene , or getting out and about around town or caught up with a passionate lifestyle . Herbert was getting ready to go . His life was in its latter stages and every now he had an ability to talk over some of his desires and then suddenly he caught himself on a would exits out from that communication about his life and try to drink from the empty bottle in his hand as if he could cope better with whatever life threw his way at that moment .
Even though Herbert has his own answer still the question remained unanswered to the story of his life which was a message in a bottle . Sadly no one else could read it as well as he could and I could see that Herbert he needed to read that message himself .
Eventually the ambulance came and I handed over to the medics what I had seen and found . After speaking to the hospital they informed me that Herbert was a regular patient there and that he was placed in the mental health system so with the doctors authority Herbert was going to be scheduled for a detox program and some other support inside a section of the hospital where I was working /
The ambulance took Herbert away and I began cleaning up his flat .
After I finished my shift in the hospital I called by to see Herbert .
“Hey , how’s it going today Herbert ?”
“Hey Doc , call me Bert .“
‘ok Bert , so are you getting along with everyone here ok ?”
He gave me as look as if to say , you must be kidding and said .
”Do you see that Mad Dog over there well I’ll tell you if I was fifteen years younger I would knock him out .‘
I smiled and replied.
“‘Well the thing is Bert you’re not 21 anymore so you better just settle down and remember that you are probably twice his age and only half as smart as he is “.
“The thing is Doc I was always fond of a drink and there is nobody more fond of the drink as I am . For instance yesterday I was craving fro a drink so much that I got through the window and it was that Mad dog sitting over there who told on me and as I was making my way there through the Park they captured me and brought me back here again , so now they have me on an hourly sight check .”
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“Well Bert you have to watch yourself now , maybe on Friday night we can watch the football match on TV “
Bert looked at me as if I was mad and said .
“Only if I have a bottle of Scrumpie in my hand :
I laughed and replied
“When I was a lad of fifteen I played football and did some boxing . Memories of Friday nights are still as real to me today as they were back them . Have you gotr any memories of your young years Bert ?”
Bert closed his eyes and he sighed ,
“I can tell you this , I was the main man . The head of the mob . We were called the Bone Boys and we were all heavy drinkers long before our teenage years . I was tough and rough and ready enough for anything and anyone back then . “
I smiled and thought to dig deeper ,
“Were you ever married or had children Bert ?
I asked and he immediately replied
“I already told you the story Doc the day you found me on the floor of my flat . She was living on the edge with me and the kids always heard me singing when I had a session . I never laid a finger on any of them Doc .“
“ Did you never want to quit the drink Bert ?”
“I was born with the gene . It’s a proven fact Doc . an inherited condition they say .“
In his words he was reading that message in a bottle that I wanted him to know and share . He at last was able to see it and accept it . Most alcoholics just hide from the truth and wash it all down their throats , bottle after bottle without measure or accounting for their behaviour .
There he was , a wild man , a hard case a sailor lost in his own sea of sadness without a care in the world . People like Herbert are unique as such become like a hermit in a world where they don’t fit and they rarely want to make any change to their condition
“So Bert , you were the man . A leader of the pack .”
“That what I was all right Doc , I was the leader of a gang and we were all joined together by the same connection . Our love for the drink . It’s a wonder any of us remained sane after all those Fridays nights we had back then “
“Well Bert at least you have memories .“’
“ I don’t really like those memories you know ., I still get half tore just thinking about it Doc. Have you ever tried to remember something in your life that you tried to forget and then you can never recall what happened ?’
‘I fell in love once Bert . I still remember the night before the day I was married to her and how excited I was “’;
‘Well the thing is I remember living in a shed with her and when she first found an empty bottle of mine that I tried to hide . After that I began to drink in the park near where we lived . She had no knowledge of what I was doing then and when I made my way home I would always be singing and very loosely and lubricated . As the kids grew up they met some of the boys in the mob . They were all well liked and protected as if it meant something . In my kids eyes I could have been anything to them but a Father and so I dedicated my life to the drink . It was my decision and hard as it was I had made up my mind to spend the rest of my life on the drink .’
Bert wasn’t bothered by what he said and I just couldn’t contemplate how he justified a life on the drink and that’s when I realized that I was making judgments instead of recognising his right to self destruct . The thing is I didn’t want to go down that road and do what he had done or end up the way he was . I was grateful of his company and appreciated his wanting to share his message in a bottle .
“Where did you meet your wife Bert “
He looked away for a minute and after a moments silence he said
“ I met her in the big open spaces .of the Plaza Ballroom . That’s where I met her . The thing you see we danced : .
It was as if suddenly the Calvary rode in and threw a firing single shot as I watched Bert’s face light up and he smiled almost for the first time .’’
.I never explained to my wife and I also met at a dance in the local community hall; .
“What kind of dancing did you do Bert “: ‘
“ Who knows but we glided across the floor and threw all our cares to the wind and I never thought my drink problem would come between Maggie and I .“
“So your wife’s name was Maggie ?:
He put on a brave face and replied .
“That’s right , yeah Maggie soon woke up to me after too many late nights and not enough sober days . I always had another good excuse for getting drunk . When we drifted apart took the kids and pulled everything together again . All for the sake of our three of kids she said ,. They grew up so fast Doc “ .
“Have you ever seen any of your kids again Bert ?”
Each time I went through Detox I promised I would call them but never did . Its too late now and now the last time I saw them was about 1964 . That’s when the doctor had told my wife and Mother at this stage that If I never stopped drinking I would be dead in six months . So I’m living on borrowed time Doc .“
“Its been a long day Beet .I’ll head off now and see you tomorrow after work “
:Yeah Doc see you tomorrow .”:
I went home that night and felt good about Berts progress and had even though about contacting his kids and maybe Maggie .
The next morning I came to work and was told about an incident that had occurred during the night . It seems that Bert had hit one of the night staff before attacking another patient who required stitches in his head . I was just so sad after all the progress that was being made .’’
I sat there looking out the window as the wind blew cold and the rain fell like arrows to the ground . I never knew really what happened but would try to extract that from Bert after my shift .
Later in the day I went to visit Bert in his isolation ward . When I spoke to him it was almost just like any other day . Bert seemed ok , even very stable . When I mentioned to him about the incident Bert just brushed it off as if nothing had taken place . I tried about a dozen times to find out what went on or why he had reacted the way he did but each time I spoke about it , Bert would stand up and walk away .
In the end I decided not to prod any more questions about what had happened and decided to go home .
During the day I had contacted Maggie who never wanted to see Bert and was quite clear about not contacting the children .It seemed that the door was closed for any further contact .
Somehow I felt that I was now the only person able to talk with Bert about his life and on going recovery and rehabilitation .
Who can justify what Bert did was right ?
Who is there to answer his message in the bottle ., if not I , for in Bert’s world nothing made sense anymore and no one really mattered to him anymore . The next few weeks of his detox program passed without any incident and Bert was now ready for discharge .
When he returned to his bedside flat he was so happy to see it was clean and in a liveable state .’ I could see that thanking people was something Bert couldn’t do anymore . It was now up to Bert now to stay off the drink and keep his flat clean and tidy . When I mentioned this to him he regarded it as some sort of a joke . He wouild laughed and sa
‘What do I know about house keeping ?
I resigned myself to seeing things as they were and not expect too much . The tr a message in a bottle was clear . Bert was not going to stop drinking and that he would just fade away into a nothing existence again .
Later that month I had to ring another ambulance after I found Bert had fallen again and this time he had a serious head injury . I couldn’t even talk to him about what had happened . I almost felt guilty as if I should or could have prevented this from happening..
I told myself not t o be so hard on myself and then I was able to cope with the guilt of not being able to prevent the harm that happened .
As crazy as it sounds I had to forgive myself I suppose for Bert’s drink problem .
I did make contact with his kids who really did not want to see or talk to their Father in any case . After his head injury was treated Bert was placed into Detox again for another clean up . I called to see him every night after my shift just to be there for him as there was no one else willing to do that .
I hoped that he could change his ways and time after time when I told him to get it sorted out he would lash out with ,
“ Doc I haven’t got a carving knife big enough to cut it away and if I did I’m sure I might murder somebody in the process . “
One evening as I sat with him I was really amazed when his face kit up as bright as the sun . I turned around and there they were , his four kids . They had come to visit him . Something must have changed their hearts you know I think I mut have made them feel bad about me being the only person to visit him in hospital . I had said many things to them about their Father and at last they were able to come .
I stood back and watched them put their arms around their Father and he gave them all great big hug . That evening I had shivers all over my body . It was like a miracle had happened .
For the next 6 six months Bert never drank again and even started to go for a morning walk through the park . On the morning I found him there on his sofa , I could see he was at last at peace with himself and life .
Sometimes in life we are called to do things for someone else and even though we don’t know what we are chosen we respond .’
Apart from everything else I had gone through with Bert we had a reasonable relationship and we really never argued .
Now in his absence I feel grateful for his straight lines of communication about his condition and I cherish the things he had said to me .
He got to see his kids before he left and they saw a father and he saw that as well I believe . His message in a bottle was read and appreciated I hope by many .
At his funeral mass his kids and wife spoke of him in a nice wat as did the priest who tried to persuade others to me to reach out to other people who might need help and don’t make judgements about things unless you have seen or understood what it means to have a message in a bottle floating on the surface in the sea of sadness .
The night after he was buried I walked the streets of the city and tried to remember Bert and some of the Friday nights he might have once had .
Bert had made a big impression on my life and somewhere he had filled in the gaps between then and now where things had fallen through and were lost forever .
I took out the scrap of paper that I had found in Berts flat , I read the words on it .
Hey Doc if you want to destroy the last moments of your life then don’t do it by yourself . Its not too late now for you . Go and find her because you deserve her and you cannot make it by yourself . God bless you for making the last days of my life happy .
‘I put the note back into my pocket with shaking hands as tears in my eyes .
I found my wife again and we have 3 children now who I love . Bert had reopened a door for me and I have shared his message with them .
Herbert has left this world and I know he has found the answer to the questions his life presented ..
Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies but I became Herbert’s friend . Herbert’s history was a sad one but during the time I knew him I became aware of many things about myself
So I guess I was lucky to have said hello to Herbert before he left this world without a and friend to say goodbye to him .
This fragile case was one that needed to be handled with care and his lunatic story was told before he made his exit from life .
Your story certainly does have a certain beauty and redemption about it, both for the narrator and for Bert. But, there is nothing more boring than a drunk.
Re-Release! No longer back-listed. Return to the Olde Ways. The hustle and bustle of modern day life has brought many of us to a quick fix attitude.This book is for those of you who are fed up; have looked at your life and your loved ones and realize
