As an appendum to my recent book of Impolite Stories, I chanced upon this little satire for all my seriously religious friends.
What is this place? Why am I here? God, it smells awful… Sulfur, burning and rotting flesh. Stink. Ooowwee! What is that I just stepped in? Molten lead? All I hear is screams in the distance. Who are all these naked and disgusting people? Vomiting in their own blood?
A moment ago, I remember driving. I was sleepy, but I was that way many times before and got home okay. Why was tonight any different? Oh… I remember. I remember waking up and seeing the big tree in the headlights… rushing at it so fast that in the blink of an eye, I must've hit the tree at a high rate of speed. I do recall gasping, "Oh my God, I'm dead," just before the tree got large and everything went black.
Am I? Am I dead? I remember now. It was about 30° and the road was icy. I remember driving fast and drowsy from that Christmas party I was at… Yes, that party. Had a great time. Drank a little. Got drowsy. So what? Did that before, lots of times, and nothing happened. I had a good life. What in the hell am I doing here? Aaarghh that hurts! Let me pull it out! Oh God! It burns… Burns so bad. Am I in a nightmare? A coma? Anything but this. This is hell. And Hell doesn't exist, does it?
Sure, I never admitted that I loved God or anything stupid like that. People just died. Their bodies just rotted and became the elements that they were before. To be recycled again in other lives, starting with worms and beetles… And then, being eaten by larger creatures, and then, if they were lucky, become the elements of a human. Lucky me! Hell didn't exist in my mind. So what am I doing here! Aahhahh that hurts! Make it stop! Make it stop! I didn't ask for this. I don't believe in this. End this dream… Pleaseee!
Let me go back to sleep! This is a dream? Isn't it?
Yeah, I went through the motions. Even went to church sometimes until I got tired of those brow beating sermons about hell and damnation and all that shit. Another scare. Anything to get people into belonging to the cult. " But I never prayed for anything, least of all to some hippie looking guy that was supposed to have died for me on that cross they like to picture him on and then he "rose up from the dead," as though that were possible. And, by doing so, somehow saved all of our asses from death. Oh shit! That hurts. Just stop it! I'm trying to explain. How could anyone believe that? We all die. Maybe I died. What's this? Some kind of punishment in a dream for being a great guy? Just because I didn't believe in him? Whoever he was.
Snakes! Stop those snakes! Jesus Christ! They're all over me and biting! Their venom feels like liquid fire in my veins. Won't it ever stop! I was ethical. I believed in the laws of nature and men. I didn't believe in the 10 Commandments. But I did believe in being good, you know, like the Golden Rule. I never hurt anyone on purpose. Lied only to help. Never cheated or even needed to cheat. Pointed out those who did. Never stole or needed to steal. Even sided with some that stole bread when they had nothing else to eat. Cheered when rich guys gave it all up for the poor. What am I doing here!
I could've started a cult of goodness. Not one that promised eternal life or total forgiveness, just for believing--getting whatever you want by praying. What a bunch of bullshit. Ah shit! Now it's spiders. They're crawling in my ears and nose. One is biting me in my sinus. I think I'm going to… "Cha--Shooo!" Oh God, there go my bloodied brains, covered in snot!
How long have I been here? An eternity. But I'll keep on sending this message into the ether until I reach someone. And, if I can't rescue myself, maybe I'll rescue you. After all, who would ever wish that someone would believe that a place like this exists to send people like me to?
What an interesting story, Ron.
Speaking not from a religious standpoint, but rather from a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, I can imagine the scenario you painted.
Jesus Himself said, in John 14:6, " I am the way, the truth and the life. No man comes to the Father but by Me."
David, the shepherdboy who became king, penned in Psalm 14:1-3, "The fool says in his heart, 'There is no God.' They are corrupt, they do abominable deeds; there is none who does good. 2 The Lord looks down from heaven on the children of man, to see if there are any who understand, who seek after God. 3 They have all turned aside; together they have become corrupt; there is none good ..."
Also, in Romans, "It's not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy has saved us..."
On and on, scripture tells us we are made in the image of God, but because of sin we are separated from God.
Self-sufficiency is the root of pride, and when we try to explain away the creation story, we set ourselves up for the hook of deception...and no matter what we think, the reality of such a place as you described is inevitable.
May the verbiage spoken through your story speak deep into the hearts of your readers, and the reality of the possibility open their hearts and minds to a new perspective and revelation of my best friend, Jesus!
Whether my molecules are dispersed and absorbed into another dimension by osmosis or something, maybe God has all of these matters figured out and then what comes after that??? What a scary write!!
I'm with Melva on how the Bible evolved, but do believe in God, and that in the end, living by the Golden Rule is what matters. Not that I have any clout, but I think you're safe.
What a nightmare Ron. We tend to find our own way sometimes, and not necessarily in a physical church. We believe as we believe, and I believe in a Superior Being, in fact I talk to him one-on-one sometimes daily. I don't feel I need a go-between between He and I, and I don't understand the trinity. The Bible has been translated so many times by imperfect men it probably has no resemblance to the original words He felt would adequately guide us as He hoped it would, it has been interpreted by those imperfect men as to how THEY see it and how they want us to believe I'm afraid, but I still read verses on occasion, and ask God to clarify His words, hoping they are actually as I read them. Will I end up where you describe because I don't believe I am compelled to belong to a conventional religion/church in order to receive the gift I believe He has for all of His children? Hmmmmmmm . . . I wonder? I think we share a dilemma.
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